Worry_mommy

It has been 9 days since I have been diagnosed. The same time when I lose my job, the company went broke and didn't pay 3 months salaries so I am broke as well. My bofriend who I think the giver is (he said his test r neg. but I kinda have feeling it was him) is making a distance. He was supportive through messages but always have reasons not to meet me. I felt alone, ashamed and depressed. Single mom in germany and herpes is still tabu here. Just found 1 forum and just some people in there. The doc was not helpful, got not much information. Can't tell anyone except my boyfriend (or soon to be ex?). We just been together for 2 months. I have some friends who I think will freaking out when they know this. Just like I said, genital herpes is like a death sentence here. As opposite, seen some with oral herpes and people saw it normal. I am 37, grew up without parents, my siblings just looking for me when they need help, my ex husband only took advantage on me, cheated me many times, stole my saving. All I want since kid just a normal life with someone who love me and now I got this lifetime virus. Who will want to be with me? I probably can accept this if I am 30 years older, it sucks but I probably can accept it. But now? I can life without sex but is there any man who will that? Can't imagine anyone even want to touch me without fear here. If I don't have kids then may be I already kill my self and I will surely do if I ever passed this virus to them. I know it will be better (perhaps) but I just can't anymore now.

Thank you so much Optimist!

Hi all, I just diagnosed on Monday that I have genital Herpes. I was shock and the doc was not helpful either. I didn't know there are 2 type of Herpes and I don't know which type I have. Living in small town in germany and it seems that doc here doesn't has much knowledge about this. I am single mom of 2. Had new bf since end of Nov. He went to doc and took blood test after I told him and he is neg. I am so worry that I unknowingly transfer this to my kids (towel, toilet, cuddle, my youngest slept in my bed when I had OB - was not to doc yet and didn't know what it is). Is this just spread through skin to skin contact? Or am I a dangers to my kids? I can accept that I will never have a sex life or partner anymore but I really wish I can have a normal life with my kids. Is it possible? I kept a distance with them after I found out what I have. I am afraid to kiss them, didn't able to sit on their bed when I read good night story. My boys had headache (there is time with cold at the moment), I was freaking out. I wanted to hug them but I was scare to death that I passed this virus to them. I prefer die than giving this to my kids. My other questions: my ex work colleagues have cold sore, I didn't know what it is back then but I never see them as a danger, even until now. They live their life normally. Have family and kids. Is their virus same like mine? I mean HSV 1 and 2, r they the same just different places? Is genital one more dangers? I saw them able to kiss their love one when they have no OB and won't spread the virus but I read that the genital one will spread the virus even without OB. Is it right? Thanks so much in advance. I really depressed at the moment and wanted to stay alone in my room forever. So scare I may spread this unknowingly