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So there's this guy...need some advice :)

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Hey everyone! So a little background about me: I was diagnosed with genital herpes in 2009 and of course at first I was drives rated and didn't even know whatcit was when I found out about it. Over the past few years I have done tons and tons of research and I have found ways to cope and deal with having genitsl herpes. It's going well that it's become something I hardly ever think about that I almost forget they I even have it! Anywho. So recently I have been talking to someone for a couple of months and he is great and gives me alot of encouragement about everything. Just a few days ago I finally disclosed him and told him that I had genital herpes to him in a positive way. So once I told him he said that there was a deep dark secret he said that he would tell me about and until this day he will not tell me yet at all. We do plan to become intimate with each other but I wish I can find a way to ask him what his secret is because I feel like shit especially after I told him something that is health related. Any suggestions in what I may be able to do? Thanks. :)

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If I were you I would just tell him you need to know before y'all become intimate. But give him a little bit of time to reflect, and especially to let the fact sink in that you told him about your herpes, even though you probably could've not told him and put him at risk for getting it. When you encourage him to tell you just mention things like how much you care, how much you trust him, how you want to encourage an honest relationship, and how most big bad secrets aren't actually as bad as we make them up to be in our head.


I had an ex with a terrible secret about something he had done in the past - I still loved him and still forgave him, but if I had known before things got too serious, I could've slowed down the relationship and prevented some other awful things from happening had I known about his past.

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