Older and not so wise as I thought. Can I still pass it on!?

[CCBlmetoo]

I'm elderly female 74, and contracted Herpes 2 (diagnosed then) about 43 years ago. I haven't had any sign of Herpes for about half that time, with no symptoms ever for many years after even that last time. I recently hooked up with fella on a planned weekend and need to know a few answers to a few questions.

#1-Can sexual intercourse with no penis penetration other than finger stimulation activate any symptoms or viral spread without any out breaks present at the time or before. 

#2 My partner had erectile difficulties and couldn't penetrate me so no vaginal contact for him. I never mentioned I once had herpes since I haven't seen it in decades. My mistake, but it is what it is. Is there any kind of chance nothing will come of this? Due to the stress of it all especially at my age, I decided not to engage in any future dating. My husband passed a while ago and I guess I will face life on my own. I contracted herpes during altercations in the marriage of my first husband many many years ago. I just pray nothing will come of this and have learned my lesson forever. I have no outbreak just I'm sore maybe from hand stimulation and my age and lack of this for so many years. Any ideas or suggestions with many thanks!!

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello!! 

First, I hope you are doing okay. 

Second, those are great questions! I'm happy you asked them. I wanted to ask what type of HSV you have, as the risk of passing genital HSV-1 is lower than passing genital HSV-2. Regardless, the answers are basically the same for whichever type you may have. 

Despite not having an outbreak for so long, you can pass it to someone especially during an outbreak or if the virus is shedding. However, it seems unlikely you passed it to him based off your history. 

If you wanted to and it would help clear your mind, you could tell him if you have his contact information, and you can explain why you didn't think to tell him before. Honesty is wonderful. And you never know if he has underlying conditions. However, many people have HSV, especially HSV-1. Passing HSV-1 genital to genital is rare, so that's why I asked which type of HSV you have. 

This has been such a lonely time for us all, due to the pandemic. Even more so that you did not have your husband with you.  Even though you didn't tell the man about the HSV, please know that all is forgiven in terms of making mistakes. Making a mistake doesn't mean you need to cancel out dating for the future. Forgive yourself and allow yourself to feel love and explore it's wonders. You are a human being worthy of love, and that is a fact that knows no age ❤️.

I'm sorry for the passing of your husband. I'm sure he loved you very much. 

I hope this response helped you! 

Sending You Blessings and Kindness 🌄☀️❤️🌼!! 

[Flowerteacher55]

Oh also!!! 

Since there wasn't penis to vagina contact, it seems unlikely that you could have given it to him, especially if he washed his hands after or showered afterwards. Engaging in oral sex would be more likely, but honestly because you haven't had an outbreak is so long I do not think there is much to worry about. ❤️

I hope this also helps!! 

Blessings ☀️🌄🌼

[CCBlmetoo]

I appreciate your response. Reason I asked was I don't want to hurt anyone, nor revisit all of it ever again. I had HSV-2, so many years ago, so young and foolish. I'd give anything to warn young people today to be so careful and think about what they are doing and the consequences involved in the end. I often wondered if the shingles vaccine would help with contracting HSV-1 or 2, and just came across this information. I think help is on the horizon for total protection.

There is some evidence that the varicella-zoster vaccine (shingles vac) can help to reduce the severity of outbreaks, though less evidence it is effective at complete prevention. HSV-2 vaccine research in a Guinea pig model did reduce the severity of HSV-2 outbreaks and increase antibody levels to HSV-2 when the varicella zoster vaccine was combined with a portion of the HSV-2 virus genome. 8 Many other studies in animals and humans have come to similar conclusions. I have both shingles vaccines.

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi!!

Okay! Yes, I totally understand. I am studying to be a teacher for at-risk youth and something I really want to teach and think should be taught way more everywhere is comprehensive sex Ed. Young people deserve to know how their bodies work, how to stay safe, and how to maintain health and happiness. We cannot expect someone to succeed if they do not even know how their own bodies work! 

And yes! Vaccines are being worked on for herpes which is so interesting and amazing. I think one day there may be a herpes vaccine and that would be so so amazing ❤️. I'm happy you have both shingles vaccines-- I'm sure they help in decreasing outbreak likelihood, which is wonderful. 

Sending happiness and blessings your way!! 🌄☀️🌼

[Happy-Go-Lucky]

Any amount of friction can cause breakouts and pass on the virus to others. I would suggest playing it safe. Definitely tell him you have the virus. You can't keep this from a sex partner. 

[CCBlmetoo]

Yes! that is what I wanted to know! After all these years I was not sure if it was the friction  that triggered outbreaks. Thank you for that!  I will have to bring it up and be honest. Its a good thing it wasn't a full blown sexual encounter and only stimulation. I will go into it armed with professional information and then decisions can be made.