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Flowerteacher55 last won the day on September 16

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  1. Hello! I hope you are feeling better today! Ugh, yes, 'sneaky' is the perfect word to describe H. 'Sassy,' 'bothersome,' and 'annoying,' are my other top words haha. It's great that you have antivirals. Things should start to clear up πŸ™‚ If your partner did contract it, it isn't your fault. You didn't even realize it was prodrome, especially since these symptoms weren't like the first time! Just tell your partner to be aware for any prodrome symptoms. It will be okay ❀️ I'm sure that you feel guilty or ashamed, but let those feelings go. Love is so powerful, and I am sure your partner understands ❀️ Blessings! -- Grace
  2. Hello! I totally feel for your worries and struggles. Please know that you are not alone! We are here to help πŸ™‚ Condoms get such a bad rap... "too uncomfortable," "I can't get an erection," "blah blah blah." Well, pal, protection is important! Consent to have unprotected sex is ESSENTIAL, so if you aren't 100% in, then don't fall under the pressure. Your body matters! Also, if someone rejects you, that shows who THEY are, not who YOU are! You are a wonderful blessing, not a dirty or bad person. You are a human with a common virus, and you have a right to want to protect yourself (and you are being honest and protecting that person, too!). You are being respectful and kind in talking to them about your H, and advocating for yourself and what YOU want (condoms to be used). If they don't want to be respectful and kind back to you, that is on them, and they are chumps. You did nothing wrong! ❀️ The way people treat you is NOT a reflection of you. ❀️ Now let's say someone is respectful and kind, but they still struggle with sexual dysfunction from condoms (or just in general). In terms of what could help, there are many options! Internal Condoms: Have you looked into internal condoms? They are wonderful because they give you the ability to choose protection; you don't need to rely on your partner. Also, they can be inserted four hours before sex, too! So let's say you aren't sure if a date will end in sex, you can insert it just to be safe. This way, there is protection, and he would not need to wear (or remember) a condom. Internal condoms are not as effective for preventing pregnancy as external condoms, but they do offer a little extra skin covering protection, as there is an outer ring that covers a little bit of the external/inner labia. Learn more about them here!: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/internal-condom/how-do-i-use-an-internal-condom and here! https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/female-condoms/ Condoms Galore: There are SO many types of condoms out there. Different materials, lubricants, etc, all may affect each person differently. So, if someone can't have an erection or preform with a condom, they could look into condoms that are more stimulative. Foreplay also can help, too! Please know that your sex life isn't over. Not at all! If anything, H can actually help increase intimacy among people. It helps us filter out the chumps. It also helps us cultivate gratefulness for the compassion and kindness of people who are respectful and understanding. Plus, when someone is kind and understanding (and rational and calm and logical), that's sexy! Nothing is sexier than a gentleman who sees that H is just a common virus, and that there are plenty of other ways to stay safe besides just the external condom. I hope this helps! Stay strong ❀️ There is hope! πŸ™‚ Blessings, Grace
  3. Hello! I am so sorry that you have been experiencing such burning. That is terrible! 😞 Is the burning from your skin or is it neurological? If it's on the skin, ice can help. Having a spray body of ice water and then misting the area can help, too. Avoid any soaps or products that would increase irritation, and avoid non-breathable clothing (spandex, for example). If it's neurological burning (like its coming from inside, not the skin) you can also try icing the area. You could also take an over the counter pain reliever, although you mentioned that you want to avoid taking too many of these (which is true, too many can indeed cause organ issues). I hope this helps! We are here for you! Sending blessings of healing and happiness your way! πŸ™‚β€οΈ -- Grace
  4. Hello! ❀️ I am so sorry to hear about your experiences. You did not deserve that at all. Remember that this is not your fault. You are not bad. You are not unworthy. You are not unlovable. You are good. You are worthy of love and respect. You are lovable. The way people treat us is a reflection of who THEY are. It does not show who YOU are. Sometimes we feel like, "I am the common factor in all these relationships, so therefore I must be the problem." That is NOT true at all! It isn't you. Some people are unkind and disrespectful. They are not deserving of you. However, this doesn't mean everyone is unkind! There are good souls out there! I promise ❀️ In terms of letting go of the anger and resentment you have towards your ex husband... forgiveness is key. It is much easier said than done. However, I want to share a story with you. After apartheid ended in South Africa, there was so much racism, hurt, death, destruction... and a council called the The Truth and Reconciliation Commission was created, headed by Bishop Desmond Tutu. The point of the TRC was to unite South Africa after the long history of abuse and racism. People who had seen their family members murdered, their villages burned, and their civil rights abused listened to the offenders take the stand and genuinely apologize for the deeds they done against those harmed. It was shocking. So many people FORGAVE each other... and the power of forgiveness is that it honestly doesn't eliminate blame from the offender, but it frees YOU. It isn't showing weakness. It is showing strength. It isn't ignoring the hurt, but instead recognizing its power of you and choosing to not let it hold you back. You can read more about the TRC here: https://www.theforgivenessproject.com/stories/desmond-tutu/ I hope this helps πŸ™‚ Stay strong. We are here for you ❀️ Be kinder to yourself! ❀️ Blessings, Grace
  5. @eastnorthsouthwest Hello! I am so sorry to hear about your recent struggles. Frankly, that is chump-behavior. There are some humans in the world who do not react with kindness or respect. You disclosed, which was showing kindness and respect for their body and freewill. When someone doesn't respond with the same kindness and respect, that shows more about who THEY are, not who YOU are. You are a blessing. You are a beautiful human deserving of love, respect, and kindness. Don't let a couple of rotten apples ruin the bunch! Stay strong and keep the faith ❀️ Make sure you practice self-love and self-kindness. Remember, the way others treat you is a reflection of them. If someone tries to make you feel like it's your fault, or the relationship ended because it's your fault, they are not a person who is worthy and deserving of you. There is hope! ❀️ I am 22 and have had HSV since I was 19. I have been rejected so many times. At first it really hurt, but now I see it as a sifter of sorts; it reveals who people really are and it helps me sort through the chumps. @livingbeyond Hi! ❀️ It is so wonderful that you met someone who is kind. I love how you said you wouldn't have reached the levels of vulnerability and acceptance if you didn't have H. That is such a beautiful thing! Thank you for sharing that with us, it really shines hope for me and I'm sure for so many others! ❀️ Sending blessings and light to you both! πŸ™‚ -- Grace
  6. Hello, @Lisa2021! That is a great question. The Western Blot Test is used as a way to super super accurately test for HSV antibodies. Those who use this test are people who either truly believe they have HSV but have had all negatives tests, or those who believe they have false positive results. It is preformed by the University of Washington Virology Division Clinic. Check it out here: http://depts.washington.edu/herpes/pages/frequently_asked_questions I hope this helps! Blessings, Grace
  7. Hello! πŸ™‚ Yes, in today's world, sex often does come very quickly in relationships. However, advocating for what you want and need (taking things slow) is so important and can help you stay true to yourself ❀️. Those who are actually respectful of you will be understanding and accepting of the pace you want a relationship to go! πŸ™‚ In regards to the reaction of the man you have been seeing... that is such an immature response! Questioning if you were the one for him?! What the heck! That's just 1) cruel 2) disrespectful and 3) absurd; he didn't even ask questions or act mature at all. Herpes is a common medical diagnosis! It isn't a sin, it isn't a sign of evil or that you are a bad person. Also, it is important that he get tested as well, even if someone wasn't 'risky', they still should get an STI panel done (although it doesn't test for herpes, he could get a blood test if he wanted). You did your job-- you were honest with him. That is so kind and truthful, and you deserve a high five for that! πŸ™‚ Honestly, when flags are shown and people reveal who they really are, listen to the reality. If someone shows a red flag like that -- their morals and kindness and understanding are equal to yours, and they aren't respectful of you (you were respectful of him, you were honest and told him about possibly having it). I say you can do so much better than that chump-like behavior! You deserve wholesome kind love ❀️ Stay strong! ❀️ We are all here for you! Blessings Grace
  8. You are welcome! It is so frustrating and confusing how there are so many different answers one can get from asking different doctors or medical facilities about HSV. The inconsistency creates major inconveniences. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask!
  9. Hello! The IgM test is a very sassy test because it is only useful if taken right away during your first outbreak, because it tests for antibodies that spike in numbers during initial infection, but then start to decrease to numbers that aren't detectable. This can cause false negatives to occur. That is why many people opt to wait 12+ weeks for the IgG test, since it isn't time sensitive. Instead, it requires patience (ugh!) to wait until 12 or more weeks for the antibodies to build up to detectable numbers. In terms of chicken pox and other herpesvirus-family viruses, blood tests test for specific proteins that are crated by the body in response to the virus in question. If tests can differentiate between HSV-1 and HSV-2, I would imagine that they can differentiate herpes from shingles from mono (I also have had mono and it sucks)! Note: I am not a medical professional! If it comes down to it, it could never hurt to ask your doctor about it πŸ™‚ I hope this helps! πŸ™‚ -- Grace
  10. Hello! Meditation is wonderful πŸ™‚ Keep up the self care ❀️!! Shingles can be so extremely painful, because of the shooting neurological pains 😞 It's great that you have since healed, although it took so long 😞! In regards to the antibodies, that is a great question. A lot of people have wondered this, too! I am not a medical doctor or professional by any means, however I have found some helpful information from Mayo Clinic Laboratories:(Here is the original source) https://www.mayocliniclabs.com/test-catalog/Clinical+and+Interpretive/84429 The source says that the Herpes IgG Test tests for type-specific (HSV-1 or HSV-2) antibodies called glycoproteins. So, this means that there are specific antibodies that are tested for. I would then assume (I don't know for sure) that there are specific antibodies that are tested for when testing for Shingles. Your result of 6.48 is 5.38 above the positive starting amount (anything greater than 1.09 is positive). I am not exactly sure what the measurement means (is it measured in points? grams? atoms?) but I wish that test results were better explained to us. If anyone can answer this better, please respond to this post! Sorry I am not more knowledgeable! I will continue searching for answers from reliable sources and get back to you! πŸ™‚ Blessings, Grace
  11. Hello, I am so sorry that you are stressed. Yes, this virus is very sassy. You can tell your girlfriend to monitor her symptoms, and to be aware for prodrome symptoms and sores, etc. In 12 or more weeks, she can get an IgG blood test to see if she has it or not. That is so frustrating and annoying that it decided to show up after nine years of suppression! I am so sorry. If anything, you can at least take away information about your new subtle prodrome symptoms, and you can try and think about what might have triggered the random outbreak (what happened 15 days ago? Stress? Illness? etc.) Sending blessings and prayers to you and your girlfriend! -- Grace
  12. Hello, Friend, Welcome to the forum! πŸ™‚ We are so glad you can speak your mind and share your story here. I am so sorry to hear about the struggles you've faced. Please know that you did not deserve for any of that to happen. None of it is your fault. You are good. You are pure. You are worthy of love and good things. Trauma is something that is rooted in our brains, and both consciously and subconsciously impacts us. I have my herpes from someone who was abusive to me. Knowing I have this virus reminds me of that relationship, and it really is not a fun reminder. I am so happy to hear you have been in therapy. It really is difficult, but it pays off. Also, there is something called tapping which has helped me with a lot. It's an emotional freedom technique similar to meditation. It really is beautiful. I suggest tapping with Brad Yates on Youtube! It's awesome. πŸ™‚ In regards to the timeline... He got the PCR swab, it came back positive, and the IgG test came back negative; that sounds like he was recently exposed to it, which is why his body did not build up detectable amounts of antibodies for the blood test to come back positive. I wanted to ask for clarification, how much time passed between the time you were assaulted to the time you got back together with your ex? It happened during that 10 month break, however did it happen close to when you both got back together and were intimate? In terms of the shingles, what type of antivirals did they prescribe you (if any)? If it was Acyclovir, this actually is herpes medication and if you had herpes while you had shingles, it would have probably caused it to be dormant (not active with sores). Although the shingles antivirals may have suppressed the virus, it is also possible that you didn't have HSV when you had shingles. It is possible that the outbreak that happened with the UTI was your primary/first outbreak, as you said you have never felt these symptoms before, which means it is possible that your boyfriend gave it to you. I am so sorry that they refused blood work. That is so frustrating and patronizing. So many people have had the same experience of being denied blood work. Getting the blood test during the outbreak could have provided information about when you contracted it (either recently with an IgM blood test or over 12 weeks prior with an IgG blood test). Because you now know that you have HSV-2, and it has been verified via swab and blood, you don't need to get the Western Blot Test, as that is usually done for those who believe they have HSV and are getting negative test results on all other tests, or for those who believe they have a false positive. More information about the test can be found at the University of Washington's Virology Clinic website, here (this is about HSV FAQs): http://depts.washington.edu/herpes/pages/frequently_asked_questions I am so sorry if this was confusing! Feel free to reach out with any other questions, or feel free to direct message me anytime πŸ™‚ I am sending you prayers and blessings of health and happiness. Remember that you are beautiful. You are safe. You are loved. The world is so blessed to have you! ❀️ Blessings, Grace
  13. Hello! ❀️ I am so sorry that you are experiencing the physical and emotional stress! Please know it will be okay. We are all here to support you! Swab tests are quite sassy. Basically, they are helpful, but only really helpful within 48 hours of seeing a sore. And even then, the likelihood of the medical professional getting "enough" of the virus on the cotton swab varies, since it's prone to human error (swabbing a sore that is healing/not shedding the virus, etc). To answer your question, you have two options: 1. Do not take the medicine, so that a swab test has a greater chance of coming back positive. Also, ask for a blood test Sadly, this prolongs your physical symptoms, but it helps for the sores to not heal so quick and slow the viral shedding, so that a swab has a higher chance of grabbing the virus. Since you have the active lesions, the doctor may feel that it is needed for blood work to be done (really push for the bloodwork! Often times doctors say "No, it's not needed," however explain that this happened 3 years ago and you didn't get a definite answer and you want to know if you have the IgG antibodies! 2. Start taking medicine and get the swab done, and ask for a blood test. Again, taking the medicine might cause a false negative if you are getting another swab. However, Still ask for a blood test with the reasoning above! I hope this helps! Feel better ❀️ Blessings, Grace
  14. Hello! Sadly, a lot of places refuse to do blood testing for herpes in general, unless symptoms are actively present. This is absurd, because 1) swab tests can produce false negatives, and 2) half of the time, you have to book a week out, and by then sores are gone πŸ˜‘. Plus, you're the patient, and I think you should be allowed to request blood work! Anyways, I'll get off my soap box now. If Planned Parenthood doesn't want to do an IgM, you could go to another clinic or ask your primary doctor to write a referral for you to get blood-work done at a blood-draw facility. Most places won't draw blood without a doctor's referral. You could ask your primary physician or even your OBGYN. I hope this helps! Blessings, Grace
  15. Hello! πŸ™‚ Welcome to the community. I am so sorry to hear about the stress and worry you are experiencing, and I am sorry for the anxiety and shame that your partner is feeling. Please know everything will work out. Things may seem so chaotic right now, but with understanding, communication, education, and kindness to yourselves and to one another, the relationship can still thrive. ❀️ In regards to what happened, please know that it must be SO anxiety-causing to have been in that situation! Alcohol reduces out ability to make judgments and often causes us to act impulsively. Alcohol really inhibits the brain's ability to think critically! If anything, it seems he is really into you, and when the alcohol came into everything, he was able to let go of his worries (you mentioned that he was holding/pulling back during intimate moments). Honestly, your forgiveness and kindness is amazing. Many people in this situation would feel like they were taken advantage of or lied to or put in danger... you seem to really see it as a humanizing situation in which understanding and kindness need to shine through. Thank you for being so kind. ❀️ I cannot even imagine the sadness he is feeling. He is so lucky to have such a kind and understanding human like you who wants to educate him about things and boost his self-esteem. Joining this community would totally help him! We are an understanding and kind bunch ❀️. In regards to if you should get tested... You could go get the IgM test now and the IgG later. Or, you could wait 12 weeks. The IgM actually may be useful since he had a fairly recent outbreak and you had unprotected sex. Even though you had the HPV vaccine, the vaccine only protects against 90% of HPV strains. It can take weeks, months, or even years for HPV to show up in a cell sample, however if you start experiencing symptoms, then obviously a swab would be needed to be done. Regardless, each year during your annual OBGYN visit when they do a PAP smear, you can ask them to test for HPV since you have been exposed to it. Stay strong ❀️ It will be okay. I am sending you (and your partner!) prayers and blessings! πŸ™‚ -- Grace
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