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Hi all! I have known that I had hsv2 for 5 yrs now. I've disclosed twice. Once around the 3rd date. That guy faded out quick.  The 2nd time was 3 months into a relationship. We only had sex once. He kept flip flopping between being ok with my status. Among other reasons piled on top like him being a cigarette smoker and us eventually always arguing, we only lasted about 6-8 months. We were just on and off so much towards the end... Now I am talking to a guy that a friend introduced me to in December.  We've been having GREAT continued communication since then. It is now 2 weeks left of April and I've flown out once in February to visit him, my friends (the friend that linked us included) and family.. The chemistry from the beginning just seems so instant and flowing. I love it! Yes he lives on the west coast and I'm near the east. For a while I had a nagging "guilty" urge to tell him but with continued discussion with a few around me, i am finally feeling a great deal less upset at not telling him yet. It's the long distance that makes this the hardest because I've been advised that this is just the "cupcake stage" that I need to give us time to get to know each other even more. Let him fall in love with who I am first because as you all know if i reveal too soon then that is all he may think about which doesn't give me a fair chance at all.. and it takes much longer to really get to know someone long distance and find out the little things about him or her that could start to bother you.. He is talking of visiting me soon. Not sure how soon. He just got back from texas. Raved about me so much there. Now his friend wants to meet me and he wants me to meet them... My bestfriend says to wait to tell him when he gets here, if i feel like he is legit the one or if have a feeling things will move to sex. She says that not everyone deserves to know my status because they might not even make it to that point. But a part of me is like at this point i would want to know i think.. Ah! It is just SO hard though because i do not want to tell him virtually.  I want to tell him in person.  I also want to give him that personal time alone tho to ponder!! Ugh the struggle!  Do i continue to wait until he gets here or.. a couple more months or.. idk. I really like him and he really really likes me. Some how i need to see where his head is at around stds and sti tho he did make a joke once.. but i know if he knew he wouldn't of. Yeah i think I'm gonna wait. Since he was talking about how he just wants to cuddle saying "i am such a big kid. Can we just cuddle and watch disney movies when i come out?" So I did ask him that when he comes if it is truly ok if we just cuddle so that he doesn't have as high of an expectation..

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Hi!! 🙂 

I am so happy for you that you found an amazing person! That is such a blessing!

It would be great to develop a plan to disclose to him, you can even write it down and prep what you want to say. You can tell him over the phone if it's better, or you can tell them via Skype or FaceTime. It's up to you. Regardless, make sure before you disclose, you make sure he isn't stressed about something else or is having a bad say, as he may have a reaction impacted by that, which can cause miscommunications. It's amazing that you want to give him time to process. You can tell him over the phone, and then you can tell him that you'll give him time to think about everything and ask questions. You can also provide him with educational literature, such as the two helpful sheets that were sent to your email when you signed up for H-Opp! Plus, if you tell him now, it's a mini-like test and reveal who he really is. Is he kind and compassionate and accepting? Does he give in to stereotypes? Honestly, although it may feel like you don't have power, YOU DO! You have so much power here! 🙂 

I have told people in person and over text, and honestly both are okay, it really just depends on you. An essential idea if you choose to tell him in person is that you shouldn't do it while things are getting hot and heavy, instead during something non-intimate. Maybe over dinner or while taking a walk; somewhere where hormones and serotonin and adrenaline won't interfere with honest thinking and discussion 🙂 

I hope this helps! Reach out if you need any support!

Sending blessings and happiness your way! ❤️ 

grace

 

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10 hours ago, Flowerteacher55 said:

Hi!! 🙂 

I am so happy for you that you found an amazing person! That is such a blessing!

It would be great to develop a plan to disclose to him, you can even write it down and prep what you want to say. You can tell him over the phone if it's better, or you can tell them via Skype or FaceTime. It's up to you. Regardless, make sure before you disclose, you make sure he isn't stressed about something else or is having a bad say, as he may have a reaction impacted by that, which can cause miscommunications. It's amazing that you want to give him time to process. You can tell him over the phone, and then you can tell him that you'll give him time to think about everything and ask questions. You can also provide him with educational literature, such as the two helpful sheets that were sent to your email when you signed up for H-Opp! Plus, if you tell him now, it's a mini-like test and reveal who he really is. Is he kind and compassionate and accepting? Does he give in to stereotypes? Honestly, although it may feel like you don't have power, YOU DO! You have so much power here! 🙂 

I have told people in person and over text, and honestly both are okay, it really just depends on you. An essential idea if you choose to tell him in person is that you shouldn't do it while things are getting hot and heavy, instead during something non-intimate. Maybe over dinner or while taking a walk; somewhere where hormones and serotonin and adrenaline won't interfere with honest thinking and discussion 🙂 

I hope this helps! Reach out if you need any support!

Sending blessings and happiness your way! ❤️ 

grace

 

But is it okay to wait until he gets here?? I feel like he would handle it better in person..

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