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I have HSV 1 and have only had one sexual partner who gave it to me. I have only had 2 different sores over the last few years - I’ve been doing some research on here and realised how many other STIs there are out there which are symptomless and condoms do not protect against. I realise 70% of the population has HSV 1 oral or genital (or whitlow etc) so I am ok with having it. 

However I am afraid to give oral or have sex or even kiss a new partner in fear they don’t have HSV 1 (although unlikely) and pass it to them  


I have been spending time with this guy who insists hes been tested but in the UK they dont test for HSV 1 or 2 routinely and many people are denied a test by their doctor so im confident he hasnt been tested for HSV


I have found that you can pay for some online blood tests and would like to ask him to take one - I don’t know how to do this without sounding weird or like I don’t believe him?

No one I know has protected oral sex and condoms with vaginal sex wouldnt protect me fully if he were to have HSV 2 and just not know 


Also, is there a way to test men for HPV? As I’m paranoid about getting that too.  In the UK we don’t typically have to pay for our STI tests so people are usually only tested for HIV, hepatitis B and C, chlamydia, gonnorhea and syphillis (occasionally trich)


I’ve asked people to pay for herpes blood tests before and they have refused so I didn’t take things further - however I already have HSV 1 and would prefer not to get type 2.  Also I don’t want to be paranoid about giving someone HSV 1 so it would be easier just to know if they already have it or not  




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First, it's great you care about your health. Do you have oral or genital HSV-1? 

In general, about 2/3 of the world has oral HSV-1. Many people with HSV-1 and HSV-2 do not know they have it and are asymptomatic. 

In general, the risk of contracting HSV-2 from an infected man to woman is about 10% (unprotected) 5% (condoms OR antivirals) and 2% (use of both condoms AND antivirals). From an infected female to male, the risk rate is 4% (no protection) 2% (condom OR antivirals) and 1% (condoms AND antivrials). So, even if someone doesn't know they have it but they hypothetically do, then using a condom could help reduce the risk of transmission by about half. These statistics are for HSV-2, and the transmission rates of HSV-1 are typically lower than HSV-2. 

You could ask someone to take a blood test to see if they have HSV, but it is possible for blood tests to have false positives or negatives (see the rates, here: https://stdcenterny.com/herpes-testing.html#:~:text=The IgG test is about,person does not have herpes).) If they don't want to pay for it, it's okay to not take things further with them. You are 100% right for sticking to your boundaries. If you need someone to take a test and they don't, then it seems they do not find your health important and you deserve someone who thinks it is important!

As long as you disclose to them and they understand the potential risks and they fully consent, then it is okay to be intimate with them. I know it is scary to think about passing this on to others, but if they are okay with the risks and are fully informed, that is their freewill choice. 

I hope this helps ❤️ We are here for you! 

Sending blessings of happiness and health your way! 🙂 


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