I messed up (looking for advice)

[CatLady3000]

I had unprotected sex before disclosing to a partner that I have HSV-2. I had no intention of that happening. I feel horrible and am having a lot of anxiety over the situation. How do I tell him now that this has occurred without ruining the relationship? Is that even possible?! If I were in his position, I would be LIVID. I don't know how to handle this. Please help.

[Seeker1960]

Well not a good situation. You need to have that talk as difficult as that might be. Just be armed with the information. It is unlikely that HSV was transmitted. Find out if he has had oral cold sores after all he could have given you HSV1. Decide if you are going to continue and come up with the best plan to minimize the risks. If he really has feelings for you he may make the decision to continue once he knows the facts. Good luck.

[Freebirdie]

Hi love, unfortunately this happens in moments where things get hot and heavy and feel out of your control. Coming from someone who had to tell people after the fact the best advice I can give is come from a place of sincerity in your apology/ explanation. You did not intend for this to happen but things got out of your control. Make sure you can talk about the virus from a mature educated place that doesn’t make you sound rooted in fear. You will be surprised some people without herpes don’t treat it like the worst thing in the world but a virus apart of life and many people live with. So don’t assume the worst no matter what the honesty will satisfy your soul. Also it is possible to not ruin the relationship but you not be tied to the outcome. Much love