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Real long story short(ish):


Been great friends with a guy for many years, and we were there for each other through relationships and breakups and life's up and downs. Eventually, within the last few years, we started a romantic relationship. Things happen as they do, and one night, with spit and touching and kissing and things, led to me having HSV-1 both oral and genital as of a few months ago. We both, I thought, were cleared of any STD and such, but he honestly feels bad. I believe that. And he didn't really register or think a small scab in his nose was that until k mentioned what was happening to me. We never discussed the scab other than he was previously sick and blew his nose a lot and his nose was dry........


My blood test then was negative, meaning initial outbreak and newly infected. I asked him to get a blood test after. His was HSV-1 positive.


I had a horrible primary outbreak, and then while going through that, ended up getting covid. (Not sure if that's why my current oral recurrance is much the same as the primary. My immune was overloaded then and didnt do a good enough job suppressing it?) I had tonsillitis and very painful and the worst thing about it all. Worse than the painful genital sores.


I have had a recurring genital outbreak since, not really painful, just one or two sores, and gone. Not the worst.


But now just had a recurring oral outbreak, and based on my research, shouldn't have happened like this since the primary outbreak. Nothing on my lips. Only intraorally. Gums swollen. Sores on gums and inside cheeks. And again, sores on tonsils and tonsillitis. So dang painful! Couldn't swallow without feeling glass. No appetite.


And now, I am having anxiety about this returning. On my tonsils. Be careful what you wish for, but the genital I'd be "okay" with. Even a cold sore on the lip I think (don't want that either and haven't had that) but the painful swollen tonsils!!!!! Makes me question, why me with this "rare" part of oral herpes. I am spiraling. Research doesn't help much. Does HSV-1 oral really reoccur less as time goes on?! So many questions with no definitive answers. The pain..... my tonsils!!!


I fear the antivirals due to rare side effects, and this is already "rare" on tonsils past primary outbreak. I fear and have anxiety to the point of getting nauseous and feeling horrible over having it again and again and at unknown and possibly the worst times. I don't know what to do. I feel no one gets it.... how do I go on ? How do I be okay ....?


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@hidden I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with HSV 1 and the immense physical and emotional pain this is causing you. Have you seen a doctor yet for this? It might be worth seeing infectious disease or an ENT to help. I've heard that antivirals have about a 50-60% success rate and I too am considering going on them right now. Regarding the side effects, you should check with your doctor to see if there is reason to be concerned. I believe if you have kidney issues then your GP will monitor kidney function more closely while on meds. Aside from antivirals, there are other things that can help minimize frequency and extent of symptoms and outbreaks. The most significant evidence I've found is taking lysine supplements since that inhibits arginine (which has been shown to be the amino acid that herpes uses to replicate and cause outbreaks). Some people on amazon have said that taking lysine supplements has prevented further hsv 1 flare-ups. 

You should also keep track of different triggers that are causing outbreaks. This could be stress, sun exposure, lack of sleep, and certain foods. Chocolate, nuts, and seeds have high arginine in them and so they can cause outbreaks. I'm wondering if acidic foods are causing outbreaks in your throat too since they are irritating. I have given up alcohol, caffeine, chocolate, nuts, and sugar to see if that helps. I did notice that two days after eating chocolate I developed sores, so there definitely is truth to it in my opinion and research evidence too. 

Unfortunately, we have to learn to live with this. I wish there was more research being done to help us. I have found that the stress of dealing with this outweighs some of the physical pain too, which is why you need to prioritize your mental health too and that will in turn also help lessen your symptoms hopefully since stress worsens outbreaks. 

It's not fair that you are dealing with this. This virus really does suck, it's smart in that it targets mucosal regions of our bodies where the skin is more delicate and easier to damage. I too am dealing with recurring outbreaks since i had an outbreak at the same time as having covid. I almost wonder if covid had something to do with it, it's almost like my immune system didn't recover enough to keep herpes at bay, which is why I'm desperately thinking about going on anti virals. Let us know if you find something that works for you. If it's any consolation, know that you are not alone. The majority of the population has hsv. I hope that over time your symptoms lessen and that you find your triggers and things that work for you. 

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