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heartbroken with herpes and looking for hope

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Hi Everyone!


New to this site, and am so glad that it is around...


Was just recently dumped by someone after disclosing my HSV-2 staus, and having a hard time getting over the sadness of losing him and the rejection. I understand why he doesn't want to contract a virus, but he was the first potential lover/boyfriend I have told since finding out about my infection, and this really hurts. I wish he could see past this problem, because we had so much going for us and were falling in love with each other. I know it's not the end of the world, but it sure feels like it...have never felt for someone the way i did about him...thought he could be "the one"!


Have read on here how others with the virus do meet people who are understanding, and willing to love them no matter what, but in the middle of this heartbreak, it's hard to beleive it will happen for me. Any thoughts or advice will be greatly appreciated...thanks for reading this.

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A big hug for you daisy...I so know that feeling when you think you have found 'the one'

and you get dumped. Ironically after I was diagnosed I met someone who was H positive too and we fell madly in love...I thought I had found the one. Then his ex came back on the scene and he dumped me to go back with her! We get dumped for all sorts of reasons other than H...that taught me to remember that for the future.

I was someone who was willing to love someone with H and I contracted it...I have lover who hasn't changed his mind since my diagnosis (we are just lovely FWB - he's younger, travels overseas a lot and eventually wants babies). I struggle with maybe passing it to him but he thinks its really no big deal and knows I do everything to reduce the risk. He has been a blessing to me.


It will happen for you and in the meantime do things that you love...try new things and stepping out of your comfort zone with new people. Take the time to love being single. Give yourself some time to get over this man and know that he wasn't the one for you...H has sorted him out before you find there are other things that wouldn't be right for you with him. It may have eliminated some future pain with this man...I mean what would he do if you had a serious illness or accident if he runs with this? He may just need time to assimilate it so if he does let him have that, it is something he would need to think about.


Take care of yourself and you can always come back for a chat ;-) there are so many here who understand.


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Hi Lelani!

Thank you so much for your post...am sorry to hear of the hell you have been through over this ciucumstance in life, too...i guess i figured since he and i were both older (mid-life age) that it would have helped in the maturity and compassion aspects, but maybe not...i told him a little over 3 weeks ago, and the only communication i've had from him was via text ( his method of choice to say it was over)...i feel like such an idoit for letting this get to me, but we dated for a month, so maybe it will take awhile to get over it...


Your advice is so right on...i tend to withdraw and let depression comsume me during things like this...but...during a "sunshine moment", decided to apply to a university in my small town and see what happens. Figured it would be a good way to take my mind off of him, and i've always wanted to go to college...this was kind of a major push...maybe it will be a good way to meet people since the job i currently have is rather isolating...


Thanks again for your imput and your time on this...nice to know that someone is out there who understands...may peace follow you and hope you have a great day!

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You go girl!!!! See..H has made you take a path that is good for you, something you may not have pushed yourself to do if you didn't get it. You will love it, it will expand you and life will get bigger that H or being dumped. Yes you will get over him...and sooner than you think. And being dumped by text...he's not worth it and has shown you his true colours before you got in too deep..believe me you would have been hurt more by this man if you stayed with him. I was asked for a divorce by text...texting is a cowards way of dealing with something and a good way of knowing that person is not good for you!

Hey...going through hell is all relative...how much a hell it is depends mostly on your choice of thoughts. I have learned to be thankful for all I have been through, it has made me stronger, more compassionate and I take life or people way less seriously..hence I laugh more and rarely get mad about anything or anyone...surely that's a better way to live than being sad or angry.

Get out there and take every opportunity...and enjoy being single and going to college. I wanted to cheer when i read your words!!! And any time you need to vent or need support post on here and you will always find understanding..we are in this together! x

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