Rejection. Please read! It might help you guys.

[Guest]

I shared this with @WCSDancer, and I figured I'd share this with everyone else. Many of you already know what @WCSDancer has said on rejection. I'll share the same thing but in a different way.

 

- There is NO such thing as REJECTION. It has everything to do with compatibility. Dating in many ways, is like buying a new house, at first you're excited of all the amenities, location, neighbors etc. But before you jump in, you decide I'd better do some research on this new place I'm about to buy.

 

(Hell you don't want any criminals as your neighbors, demon babies, or Ice Walkers right?! That's fucked up. Well... I'd personally welcome our frosty evil overlords! Idiot Lannisters and Starks... whatever living thing that exists in the Game of Thrones... they are going to die! Lol.)

 

In dating, both sides are inspecting one another, you check em out, get a feel for em, maybe have sex (depending on your decision), discuss on similarities and differences to see if this relationship is worth investing in. And if things don't go well, that's NOT rejection, all it means is that you guys aren't a match. So hold your head up, chest out and move on.

 

This is the reason why the "falling head over heels" alone rarely works, and often times does relationship fall apart. You guys got to get Hollywood out of your head.

 

- If currently, you're a mess, and they said no to you. Don't FEEL bad. They probably said no to you for a number of reasons... they probably didn't want to waste your time and theirs. It could be... the reason why they said no to you is the way you approached them, the way you came off, and from that... they were able to make a quick decision on whether the two of you were compatible. That ISN'T rejection. All it means is that CURRENTLY you're not compatible. So what do you do?

 

You should improve yourself, whether that is being more confident, being a better conversationalist, having better body language, being able to flirt in a conversation and so on and so forth. So you CAN improve your compatibility, so people don't just focus on your short-comings (as for most of the people here it'd be their herpes).

 

Both men and women need to have a well-tended garden... otherwise why would the bees and butterflies visit you? :)

 

Hell, you might be surprised that an ex that broke up with you... wants to be with you again, or you caught the eye of real hot dude/chick because you have a different vibe to you now. The reason could most likely be because you've taken care of your garden (i.e. LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF, TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF, AND GROWING AS A PERSON).

 

- This is my belief, and it does me wonders in all things. If you're willing to believe this, getting over things such as herpes and things life throws at you would be easier. If you don't believe, maybe you'll find another way.

 

Unlike most of the people here, herpes has never given me much of a burden, I've had mine since I was kid, so I've come to accept it early on.

 

- There IS a personal reason why I'm sharing this and probably the most important reason...

 

This is coming from a man who doesn't have a childhood. Whenever my friends talk glowingly of their childhood, it makes me sad, sometimes even moves me to tears if I let myself think about it to much. This is also coming from a man who can't remember 18-19 years of his life. Because so much of my life has been consumed by my own hatred, anger, confusion, hurt, distrust and sadness. I've suffered for a really long time and I can never get does years back. I am 23 now. I'm aware that a lot of you guys are going through a lot, and you might make bad decisions. But please, don't rush in, don't fall head over heels without researching, my parents made a bad decision without doing their research, it caused a broken family and two children who had a hard time growing up.

 

- If you screw up or life decided to give you a sucker-punch, go through the pain (process) without the use of drugs and alcohol and when you've had enough of life's teachings, forgive yourself, let go of the pain and take the lessons with you. Forgiveness and letting go is the best gift you can give yourself. (Also be aware that forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation, they are two different things.)

 

- Please DO take my suffering as a lesson, I don't want you guys to go through the same pain as I did. You have only one life, don't waste it.

 

And lastly quoting from a stunning woman on this forum (I'm sure you all know her) who reminded me of something important and the reason why you need to have a well-tended garden: "...you need to learn to love YOURSELF first. You can't put all the burden of your past ...onto another person." And I'll add, "It's not fair to them."

 

Take care everyone.

 

[HerryTheHerp]

Very well said! Spot on in so many ways.

[WCSDancer2010]

Beautiful ... proud of you my friend :)