I'm scared

[pandapaw90]

I feel like I'm alone but I know I'm not. I have had my life coming to a sudden halt after I got seperated from my husband and was diagnosed with it sterling having relations with him. It's overcoming me and I feel like I'm losing complete control of my life. I wanna do so much with my lie but it seems to me things are changing. I wanted to join coast guard and I found out I can't be case you have to be ob free for a year, so my dream has come to a halt. My relationship with y new man has not changed but I am so afraid of what is becoming of me. I feel like I'm losing complete touch with what and who I really am. I'm no this kinda girl to let things overcome me and make such a drastic change in my life I need help. I am hurting so bad Not just physically but also mentally and emotionally.

[WCSDancer2010]

Where did you hear that you have to be OB free for a year??? Herpes is NOT a disqualifier for the military and we have had many on here asking just this question:

 

http://www.military.com/join-armed-forces/disqualifiers-medical-conditions.html

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2757/herpes-diagnosisherpes-and-the-coast-guard

 

So - you have bought into the stigma ... and you can take that bitch and return it to where it came from .... which is in your mind. For one thing, a TRUE friend will never, EVER judge you if you tell them (they may not understand it, you may have to educate them, but that is the sign of an intelligent person who just hasn't come across the info). Herpes isn't a disqualifier for ANY job (not even Porn stars ;) ).... and the person who deserves to spend their life with you won't let a little virus stop them from loving you. Period. :)

 

I came out 100% a year and a half ago and to my knowledge, I didn't lose one friend (personal or on FB where I have over 1000 "friends" from my dance community). People actually PRAISE and SUPPORT me for taking the stand that I have. They come to me to ask questions now. They send their newly diagnosed friends to me. I am not a leper to any of them ... I'm a friend who happens to have a pain-in-the-nether-regions virus ... and that's as far as it goes.

 

Read all you can on here. Check out the Success Stories ... I get it that it can seem scary and bewildering when you are diagnosed ... but with time, and with an increased understanding of how us "veterans" have a perfectly normal life, you CAN move past this phase .... ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6070/it-gets-better great tips for newbies

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2886/herpes-yoga-and-self-love

[pandapaw90]

Well he didn't judge me at all he is standing beside me and supporting me through this riff raff but it's just complicated with everyone else. I'm afraid to tell anyone besides the people I have told because of the stigma and I know that some people will talk about it behind my back. That's just how they are. I'm 24 and people nowadays are so judgemental

[WCSDancer2010]

So here's where *I* come from with that.

 

You have the choice to either allow the jerks and assholes around you to keep you suppressed and fearful that they may talk ... (and really, why the hell do you want them in your circle of friends anyway???)

 

OR

 

You can stand tall and proud, tell those who you trust, and IF it manages to get out, you stand tall and proud - you can use things like the handouts from here to educate your friends (and a TRUE friend will stand by you 100% and never judge you) - and don't take ANYTHING negative that anyone says personally... because that is a reflection of THEM and NOT you.

 

You can choose to use this experience to learn to take a stand for who you are in the world ... or you can let this bullshit stigma run your life. It doesn't mean you have to shout it from the rooftops ... it's more about not buying into the stigma yourself first ... Judge yourself harshly, and odds are others will too...but if YOU don't buy into it, you'd be surprised how many people around you know others with it and who will accept you without judgement.

 

(((HUGS)))

[kiwiguy]

Follow your dreams, make sure you have the correct information about the coast guard it's hard to imagine you could be discriminated for a skin condition. Your at the best place for help as your talking to people that understand exactly what you are going through, mentally and emotionally you will heal it will just take a little time ;)