Devistated! Is there life after Positive Test?

[Shetalkstoangels]

2 years ago I started dating a man, I had one of his old gf send me a message while with him, I got the first message or two from her telling me that he was no good! I showed him the message he intercepted the next message which was a picture of him on a herpes dating web site. He deleted that message, I asked him what he was hiding? He told me she had framed him and did tell me she was saying he had something, I asked him repeatedly if he had anything he swore on his son's life he didn't have antthing! Thinking he Loved me and he was being truthful, I believed him! He made her out to be the jaded ex lover! We dated a year and a half and have been broke up for about 6 months and he is already remarried! So here I am 6 months later she (same ex gf) sends me the pic and suggest I get tested. I got tested and I tested positive for both herpes 1 and 2. I have cried my eyes out over this! I haven't had a break out! I'm scared to death! I am a single mom with 3 kids and I fear passing something on to them, I fear dating now, I fear my first outbreak. I have so many emotions right now!

 

I am usually a social butterfly, chipper, happy, always smiling! Everyone thinks I'm dieing cause I am not the person I was before the phone call from the Dr! Crying, depressed and very sad!! How do you cope?? Any encouragement would be great!

[Shetalkstoangels]

Also Dr has given me Valtrex. Will I have to take this medicine the rest of my life?? If I come off of it am I gonna have an outbreak? Advice on medication please!!!!

[ihaveittoo]

Hello,

 

I've had herpes for 29 years now, life does go on, trust me. You have found a great site for information and support. Read thru the informational blog on this site, link to it is above. Also check out http://supporttruthanddialog.com/, it is @WCSDancer2010 blog. It is well worth your time to read.

 

Sounds like you may be a asymptomatic carrier. Did you have an IgG blood test? If so were the results 3.5 or below? If so there is a 40% chance your results are false positives.(especially if you have never had symptoms) Check into getting a Western Blot test from the Westover Heights clinic. They will work with you over the phone and order up a test for you. It will set you back a few bucks but the Western Blot is the most definitive test for herpes out there.

 

No, you will not have to take antivirals for the rest of your life. I've not taken any in over 20 years. If you've not had symptoms you really wouldn't need to take them. If you get into a relationship with some one who is negative you could take them to help cut down on asymptomatic shedding. I used to take acyclovir years ago and had very good results with it.

 

Things will be fine. We've all been where your at now, so you are far from alone,

[Sil88]

True, you'll be fine - I think we all look back later and admit we overreacted. You might never have an outbreak at all, but at least you can keep an eye out in case. There's also a decent chance you had it before meeting him, since 1 in 5 carry the virus and 1 in 5 of those have any symptoms. Even if you do have an ob, it could be in an area that isn't in the way when you pee, in which case I've found they're pretty painless. I took the antivirals when I used to get outbreaks, but haven't touched them for the past year. Since you've never had an ob, I'd have thought the Valtrex was for in case you do get one.. But if you take them every day for a long period (suppressive therapy) , then you stop - I think this can help to trigger one. Hope we don't lose a social butterfly over this, just call it a time out.

[Shetalkstoangels]

Thank You Both soooo much! I am new to all this and I'm still going thru all the emotions of it! It was shock, sad, mad and now I'm just depressed! Every time anyone mentions sex to me I go into my shell! I had a couple friends with benefits I enjoyed! Now I'm like Nahhh I'm good! So unlike me since I have/had a high sex drive. I just feel awkard now when sex is mentioned. Please keep the support coming! It definitely helped me feel better!

[ihaveittoo]

You're doing the right thing reaching out for support. In time you will adjust and things will be just fine. You might also consider attending a local support group in your area, if one is available. Here is a link to some local support groups around the US, assuming you are in the US. http://herpeslife.com/herpes-support-groups/

 

I attended one years ago and it really helped me over the hump.