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I've had herpes for about 1 1/2 years. I recently met a guy I really liked. We went out on a few dates and fooled around a bit. I didn't tell him I had herpes until the next morning. I've only had to tell 3 guys I've had it and I've had all sorts of reactions from being treated like I had the plague to being laughed in my face. I was scared to tell him and there just didn't seem like there was a right time to tell him. He asked for some time to think about it and told me he wasn't mad or upset with me but I'm having a hard time forgiving myself for not telling him sooner. It's only been a few days but I have a strong feeling he's just not ready to date someone with herpes. At this point I just need some sort of advice from people that are in the same boat as me. Does this get better? Will I ever get to the point where I don't cry every time I have to tell someone?

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It DOES get better and you WILL get to that point!! I've definitely been where you've been. I know it can be so hard to not get caught up in the moment and get carried away. Especially in today's dating culture. I highly recommend trying to date differently and holding off on the physical aspects for a little while. Get to know the person, form a bond, get close without getting naked. I've found that being in a good place with the person and feeling comfortable with them makes it easier to have that talk. There's lots of posts about letting H be your wingman. And it's SO true!! I have weeded out so many jerks because I didn't feel like I was comfortable enough to disclose to them...so therefore didn't sleep with them. And 100% of the time they turned out to be jerks anyway who really only wanted to get in my pants! Definitely saved myself lots of heartache where in another life, I would have slept with them.

Some people will reject you...but some also won't. Either way it's not the end of the world. I've been rejected for plenty of reasons besides H. I've rejected people for plenty of reasons too. It's all a part of dating. It can be hard not to take it personally, but it's really no different than being rejected for something else out of your control, like your height for example. No matter what you are rejected for, it hurts. But there WILL be other guys! I think once you can feel ok about it and realize that it's not a huge deal, you will be able to have the talk with confidence and less emotion. And in my experience those talks go MUCH better than the crazy emotional freakout talks! Educate yourself with the facts and read all the great success stories here! And feel free to message me or any of the other great people on this forum when you want to talk it out! I know from experience it helps SO much.

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Thank you so much!

I've spent the last week trying to not think about it, and on top of that I've been sick and pretty sure I have an outbreak now too. I made myself sick (literally) by worrying about if I gave it to him. I'm paranoid because the medication I'm on weakens the symptoms and sometimes when I think I don't have an outbreak, I actually do.

Its been a week and I haven't heard from him so I'm assuming that he made his decision. I'm going to lay off of dating for a while and focus on school and my life. No need to get into this situation again when there isn't a need for it.

Again, thank you for responding. I didn't think I would get a response so reading your comment made me feel a lot better.

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