How exactly do you disclose?

[neergmas]

Any input is greatly appreciated! I'm very newly diagnosed (less than a week). I'm a 21 year old single female. I'm bisexual but tend toward romantic relationships with women and sexual relationships with men. I'm not sure if my GH is HSV- 1 or 2 but I'm almost positive I got it genital- genital. I'm still in the midst of my first OB so needless to say, sex is not a priority for me right this minute. However, I'm generally a highly sexual person and already eager to get back to casual dating eventually something long term. I know that I will have to disclose to any partner I'll have from now on, I'm just wondering what is specifically included in a disclosure (especially for casual encounters). What information do you include? What statistics do you throw out there, if any? What facts? My goal would be to put my partner at ease but also be completely honest. If anyone could give me any advice or even examples of their own disclosure talks, I'd be so grateful.

[ihaveittoo]

Hello @neergmas,

 

There is really no exact way to disclose. If you haven't done so already download the ebook and handouts. They have a lot of info on herpes. This blog, http://supporttruthanddialog.com/ as lots of great info also.'Using Herpes As Your Wingman' is an excellent starting point. Educate yourself all you can.

 

 

Read all the Herpes talk success stories you can, the link is to the left. Many have gone before you and have faced down the same fears as you and lived to tell the tale. You can learn all the various ways folks have gone about it. I imagine you'll be able to get some pretty good ideas.

 

Good luck to you...

[Ava_]

@neergmas I disclosed to one casual partner and it went very well. During a moment when we were hanging out cuddling I told him I have someone to tell him, that I have hsv2. I explained that I'm on anti virals, and threw out a few statistics about how low transmission rates are with anti virals and condoms. The study on valtrex that found no cases of transmission between couples who were on valtrex and always used condoms was one I really emphasized. Also, transmission rates are lower female to male so I threw that in too. I asked him if he had any questions and He had a lot to ask about how it made me feel emotionally more than any physical effects. It ended up being a bonding point actually.

 

I also sleep with women too, and have had trouble finding info on how to protect from female to female transmission. If you find any info on that I'd love

To hear it.

 

 

xx