My Story

[AllenC1981]

Hi everyone!

So, I'm stepping back into the dating world for the first time with herpes. I'm recently divorced from my husband whom I knew had the virus when we got together (jokes on me I guess). I am asymptomatic (and so was he), but when I realized there was no chance of reconciliation, I got tested. I honestly don't even know what all the nurse was saying over the phone. I was numb at that point and couldn't take anymore bad news about that relationship. She never really came out and said that I have herpes, but that I did need to tell people before sex.

So fast forward 8 months - I finally decided to date. I met a guy online. Lots of chemistry, he was really into me, and I him. So before we got too involved, I told him I had herpes. I had to take 4 shots in order for me to pick up the phone and tell him. haha. I said that I have herpes, that I got it from my husband and I knew he had it. I said I got tested a few months ago, and I also carry the virus. He asked me why would I do that if I knew that he had herpes. I told him because at that time, we were going to be married and I knew it, that I loved him way more than the virus he had, and well marriage is supposed to last forever. I told him to think about it, research it, and that I was about to get ready for bed and we can talk about it later.

I had a bad night. too much alcohol ( I never drink), and just feeling really really bad for myself. I was praying to God that he wouldn't reject me.

So I tossed and turned in bed all night. Got up a few times to read my Bible.

Then the next day, I waited and waited for a phone call or text. Nothing. So I texted him around 3pm and asked him what were his thoughts. He called back. He said "This is the 4th time this has happened to me". He basically said that I was pretty much stupid for going forward with a relationship knowing my ex had the virus. He asked me if I had regrets. I said that I believe God allows things to happen, that God has good plans for me, and that there is good that will come out of this. He said "so how is that (dating) going for you now? I told him that the right person won't reject me. There was another sarcastic giggle from him, and then we just ended the conversation.

 

However, honestly. I am a mess. I am scared that I won't find love. I am really close to just giving up dating again. I don't know how many times I can get rejected like this and still be mentally strong. :(

[HikingGirl]

Welcome, @AllenC1981. I'm sorry you had this experience. I wish I could offer positive stories from first-hand experience as an antidote here, but I have not yet re-entered the dating world since my own divorce. However, you *definitely* deserve better than this guy. "Rejection is God's protection" definitely comes to mind!

[AllenC1981]

Thank You so much @hikingGirl! I needed to hear that because it is so very true. :)