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Am I the only one who isn't as hurt, as I am disappointed in society?!?


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So I had my first (what can now be considered a disclosure) November of last year. I was dating this incredible guy that I'd met from us passing often. A friend mentioned to me that he probably likes me (I'm a 25yr old black female, he is a 38yr old white male). After a couple conversations, we exchanged numbers and it blossomed from there. He was my first white guy but I wasn't his first, I had a whole new perspective on love being color blind. Welp!! Apparently its not herpes blind, after 5 months of dating I had this weird itch in my backend area, it kinda hurt to scratch but I needed too, immediately went in recieved another STD check up. Came back with HSV2, this (what I now consider to be an outbreak) happened around Nov. 8/9 because the test was done on the 9th. I pretty much text him and asked him "Do you really love me?", when he came over that day I just told him I actually did come back with something. As he joked prior response to my text "Oh No, what do we have Chlamydia?" I handed him my lab work and he immediately said "Idk what this means & then said "HERPPESS!!" We sat down at opposites ends of the couch and he kept protesting he has it as I said he may not, he then said "what does it say about Lysine?" & also made a comment about "that"d explain the rash on my thigh." We hand't yet even looked up symptoms or treatments. He consoled me very much sent me articles on living and managing, how its so common etc. Now interesting thing was I saw but never paid attention to him having cold sore medication in hos medicine cabinet and about 5 different rash creams. He explained this all behind poison ivy (as he works outside.) I didn't believe in my heart he would that but there my sister didn't. I began to say things purposely 1 night, I said nobody will want me he said "you'd be surprised" just peculiar answers. Fast forward he doesn't have it howvere he got tested about a week after my "outbreak" Nov. 18th, we basically broke up because he couldn't deal he felt after basically dancing around the issue for a month and having the convo that was like pulling teeth. We were "friends" but not reallt we did EVERYTHING the same except I had no sex & he was getting off on BJ's (which he loved because its hard for him to cum, even at first witg me but I figured him out.) I ended that recently as well because it was no longer working and he offended me with a comment he made about herpes. He said how perfect I am, always told me how I'm his BEST relationship & how he's so happy etc. After our break up he's told me I took a piece of his heart, I set the bar high for other women, it seems impossible to be happy at this point, he feels empty without me. All I've said in response is "I hope you find the girl not that you can live with but can't live without" he sent me another sad paragraph which I didn't respond, & then 3hrs later sent me a pic of himself, again I neglected a response. He still hasn't told his mom who he is extremely close to that we broke up even though its been a month. In a thank you card for the Christmas gifts I got her she mentioned prayers have been answered. I thought that was sweet, I mean before this happened he LITERALLY said to me after 5 months, I can have a child with you, I can be with you forever I can see this (us cuddling, loving etc) 30yrs from now. He will be 39 two days before I turn 26 (I though was cool, we're the same sign) no kids, marraiges etc. Just him and his mom (he owns his house his mom is with her live in boyfriend of 6yrs at his place) but all that out the window for something I couldn't even control. I'm glad I told him butbI am so disappointed in him, to be honest. He will settle or be alone?!?! Thats a joke, herpes isn't a death sentence, c'mon. Mind you he liles black women in we have it the highest so odds are he'll come across it again. If he ever came back with a change of heart I dont think I'd care to accept him, I told him it could have just as easily been him. Oh & he plans to re test approx March to be sure. && i have yet find a link between cold sore meds in poison ivy on the face... Anybody?!?! He has recebtly used it too because it was on his bathroom toilet last time, he had a few tiny bumos around his mouth that he wrote off because he was feeking sick at the time. Your thoughts? ? Society deemed us no longer people, but a disease!!! I'm not going for it!!!

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