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Perspective on Disclosure

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I was just thinking about disclosure in general and it donned on me, while it may not be the most common thing to happen on probability, if you like someone but are too scared to disclose (for whatever reason), just do it if for no other reason: They may have herpes themselves and it's a huge relief for everyone! Maybe they were too shy to bring it up and it could have gotten in the way of things causing them to fade, or delay them acting on desires (if they exist). I mean herpes is so common, and yes I know many people are asymptomatic and do not know their status, but I think this reasoning stands irregardless.


There are a million of other reasons to disclose as well such as they may be fine with it, they may have experience with a partner in the past who had it, it may be a chance to educate them and help lessen the stigma, etc etc etc.

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@surfsup I've had this experience, actually. In the decades prior to my diagnosis, I only ever had one person disclose to me. Now that I'm diagnosed and disclosing, people seem to open up more in return. It's possible it's a coincidence or that it's due to the fact that tests are now available that were not available when I was single years ago, but also possible my own disclosure is making others feel more free to disclose in return. In fact, now that I think about it, one of the people (who has oral HSV1) specifically told me he does not normally disclose, so I'm certain there was a direct relationship between my disclosure and his. In another case, the guy disclosed HSV2 and I don't know if he would have disclosed had I not done so first.

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@optimist -- just curious, did the HSV-2+ guy have a "sigh of relief" vibe right after you told him? Like he had some anxiety? Or was he like immediately, omg I have that too! Maybe not those words, but you know, the vibe. Just curious the demeanor of someone when that happens. How did things end up with you guys?


I was reading on Reddit where a guy disclosed in a casual hookup / friends with benefits situation, and the woman said I have it too, and they proceeded have a month of awesome sex before he left their city.

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@surfsup No, he didn't really seem to care one way or another. *I* was excited about it, like it was a bonus, but I don't think he really cared. Maybe because he was diagnosed several years ago and doesn't really dwell on it anymore? I don't know. This was also a FWB situation in which the guy eventually moved, but I enjoyed the time while it lasted. :)

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