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Just found out....stuck and depressed..

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So today I officially found out that I had both strains of herpes after three days of scaring myself on google. As if the genital sores and the one on my mouth was not enough. I am usually very careful about STDs, I get checked frequently as I am young and find that having sex is essential to growing as a person. I'm not saying that I've had hundreds of partners but as an eighteen year old I have had a fair amount. More recently though (the one responsible for my contraction) could be one of two guys. As I am still new to all the information about herpes, I'm so confused on the timeline of my contraction so I am not sure who to contact about it. Of course the situation is much much worse.

Both of my most recent partners are friends, the type that hangout everyday. No I am not a homie hopper so lets not go that far. One of the friends was a two time deal and the other is someone I actually care for and love a lot, we have a complex relationship. The friend I love and care for I had not had sexual contact with before his friend for at least two months. I had sex with his friend twice, then a week or so later I reconnected with my love and probably had sex three or four times.

The last time we had sex I immediately noticed a strong fishy smell and the next day suffered from symptoms of a yeast infection/uti so I kind of brushed it off and handled it as I would a typical yeast infection/uti. I abstained from sex as I knew it was an unpleasant smell and just gross and wrong. As time went on my symptoms got significantly worse. One night the pain was so bad I cried myself to sleep and was going through the feeling that I had the flu. The next day I woke up extremely tired and I then later that night went to the hospital. I was diagnosed with a bladder infection then called two days later to be informed I had chlamydia which I have had before. It was the day after my hospital visit when I noticed the lesions and bumps, I at first had no idea so I did what any one would do and took to google. Some self convincing told me that it must have been something related to the chlamydia...not the dreaded herpes. But two days later the pain was still unbearable and I had to face my problems and grow up. Walking into urgent care already knowing what they were going to say. I cried the entire way home.

The first thing I did was call the boy I love and tell him to get checked for chlamydia, he was not mad at all he was so understanding and told me it did not change a thing between us and he still views me the same. In the county we live in STDs are not uncommon, and many people my age and younger have been in that situation. But I do not know what to do about the herpes situation as obviously one of them gave it to me but I do not know which one and I do not know how to tell either of them, they might not even know they have it. I'm so stuck. I have all my life to worry about myself living with herpes but what about them? I owe it to them to let them know if one of them has it?

I'm scared the boy I love will not react the same as he did about the chlamydia...and that would be the worst part. He is getting checked for STDs but herpes is a blood test not urine, so there will be no way of knowing. Help!!!

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Hi, @membersonly. A primary outbreak often occurs within 2-10 days of acquiring the virus. Moreover, it is possible to have the virus for a long time and then have an outbreak out of nowhere, but the first scenario is probably a little more likely. The only way to know for certain if you just acquired HSV is if you tested positive on a swab test and negative on an IgG blood test.


If you had sex with both men within a couple week span, then the only way to know who gave it to you is if you have the positive swab/negative blood test described above and both men are tested and one is positive and one is negative.


In all reality, you may never know who your giver was. Having the talk can be really scary when you've just been diagnosed yourself. Adrial has lots of great resources here on this website about disclosing, and you'll find others stories on this forum in the disclosure category at left. {{hugs}}

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