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Questions I can't find on the internet

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First let me say I am grateful for helpful posts/people on here because I have felt incredibly isolated, distraught, and scared of my body within this past week. If you're reading this, I would really appreciate some guidance after receiving my HSV-1 diagnosis...


About two weeks ago my new partner and I had unprotected sex after I asked if he had been tested... He said yes and that he was clean. Therefore, I am one of the unlucky people who got H from someone who has never had any symptoms. As I have read a lot about H this past week, I realized this could have either been transmitted from him going down on me or the even smaller chance viral shedding during sex.


Hoping this community can help me answer these questions:


- I have HSV-1, with only a genital outbreak. Would it be possible for me to spread it by kissing?

- Since my partner that transmitted it to me has never had symptoms, yet I got genital HSV-1, does this mean that I could still later get oral HSV-1 from kissing him or going down on him? Am I more susceptible to oral H?

- Can I not receive oral sex now with genital HSV-1? First, with my partner that has symptomless H, will he get symptoms on his mouth from this even with a long period without an outbreak? Secondly, will I have a high risk of spreading it to someone without H if they went down on me (presuming long time no outbreak)? Lastly, is the risk of spreading when receiving oral sex way lower with suppressive therapy? Or is this the end of oral sex for me?

- With no oral symptoms, can I possibly transmit H by giving oral sex to a clean partner?

- I'm still not sure how I feel about how/when to disclose to new partners, because I don't plan on having sex with anyone new for a very long time... but reading up on suppressive therapy and using condoms cutting transmission rates to extremely lower amounts than sleeping with people who have H and not knowing it, how do people usually go about this? Especially if you use a condom, are taking medication, and haven't had an outbreak in a really long time?

- Feeling like I will have to disclose in the future due to my anxious personality, I would love to hear some ways people use to tell new partners about H, if they choose to do so, and examples of reactions from new partners.




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Welcome, @MountainDog. If you haven't read the handbook at this link (https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/). It is an easy read and covers all of your questions in a much clearer way than I ever could! She also discusses disclosure a bit, although I think you'll find more real-life experiences in the disclosure categories of these forums (see the sidebar at the left of your screen.

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