In Shock

[Sighing]

I suppose everyone felt just as shocked as I do now when they found out. I bet everyone felt just as low. I bet everyone felt just as hopeless. I don't even know where to start on moving forward with this.

[HikingGirl]

Welcome, @Sighing....shocked, low, and hopeless are very common feelings! The good news is that they're not permanent (unless you work very hard to keep them that way).

 

I read a great article yesterday about how we are like a train, and emotions are like a tunnel. We want to avoid them, but we can't. We need to move all the way through the tunnel to get to the light that's on the other end.

 

Most people cycle through the five stages of grief and then go on to realize they are so much more than a herpes diagnosis. In the meantime, getting educated about HSV and being very kind to yourself (physically and emotionally) are great first steps. Please let us know if we can be of help and support to you during your journey. {{{hugs}}}

 

 

[Sighing]

Welcome, @Sighing....shocked, low, and hopeless are very common feelings! The good news is that they're not permanent (unless you work very hard to keep them that way).

 

I read a great article yesterday about how we are like a train, and emotions are like a tunnel. We want to avoid them, but we can't. We need to move all the way through the tunnel to get to the light that's on the other end.

 

Most people cycle through the five stages of grief and then go on to realize they are so much more than a herpes diagnosis. In the meantime, getting educated about HSV and being very kind to yourself (physically and emotionally) are great first steps. Please let us know if we can be of help and support to you during your journey. {{{hugs}}}

 

 

Thanks so much for responding... its been hard finding anyone to talk to!! I am feeling a little better today than yesterday but MUCH more confused. I found out that I tested positive for hsv-1 but now I don't know if its oral or genital and the doctor said there is no way to know until I have an outbreak. The ex-partner had a genital outbreak (which is why I got tested) so I'm assuming the worst for now and just have to wait and see. I think the worst part is just not having any answers.

[HikingGirl]

I'm sorry--I know the feeling! I have both types (diagnosed by blood test), have never had a cold sore, and my genital outbreaks have been so mild that the swab test just comes back inconclusive. So I'm just left to guess I have oral HSV1 and genital HSV2 because, statistically speaking, that is the most likely scenario.

 

It's entirely possible you picked up oral HSV1 long ago and had it all the time you were with your ex. Only a third of those with oral HSV1 ever have cold sores. I've always found that statistic surprising! In any case, it can feel maddening, especially initially, to not have conclusive answers about which type you have, when and where you got it, etc. Over the past 18 months since my own diagnosis, I've come to be more at peace with that uncertainty just because of how common HSV (of both types) really is. (This infographic does a nice job of illustrating this: http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/) As you can see, the vast majority of people with HSV don't have symptoms (or they're so mild they're mistaken for other issues).

 

Between all of the overwhelming and sometimes confusing information about HSV, the uncertainty that usually comes with it, and the fact that no one talks about it, it's really easy to feel all alone because of it. That's what makes these forums such a godsend. :)

[Sighing]

@Hikinggirl I almost (ALMOST) wish I'd have a symptom so at least I'd know where I have this. It seems crazy that I will have to tell all my future partners I have hsv1 even tho it might just be cold sores.

[Why0why]

I have a similar diagnosis, HSV2 but never had an outbreak so no idea where it is. :( is it the right thing to do to disclose to someone I'm not sleeping with, but kissing, just in case I have it orally? I've ready that 95% of hsv2 cases are genital but I guess there's a chance. This is the first person I've liked and started dating since I found out. I'm positively sick about it.