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Going to have the "talk" in a few days

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A tiny bit of back story, which is probably why I am super nervous...


Back on Valentine's Day, my friend posted on Facebook, to let her be cupid for her single friends(she is apparently good!). Upon encouragement of my best friend, I told Amy to go ahead. Fast forward a month, Amy contacted me about "Scott". Ironically, I just started a relationship with someone(Ben) who I met online(and successfully disclosed to). Unbeknownst to Amy, Scott and I dated when we were in high school, and were each other's first kiss(which we didn't know 20 years ago). It was very coincidental but also intriguing. Ben and I did not work out, so I waited a few weeks and reached back out to Amy. Now Scott was dating someone else!


Last week, Scott reached out to me. We had good conversation and decided to just get together to catch up just this past Saturday. He took me all around his city and we played catch up since we haven't spoke since we parted ways in 9th/10th grade. To say we had a great time is an understatement. Due to how much we both had to drink, I stayed at his place Saturday night. Kissing him again was very surreal and his words were " it's just as memorable ". And we both have improved vastly in the kissing department. haha. Sunday morning, we were cuddling and kissing, and it was getting more intimate. As he unbuttoned my pants, I did stop him, and he respectfully buttoned them back up. In the moment, I whispered to him that I needed to tell him something but he didn't hear so I let it go. We just continued to make out like we were some high school students again. If I didn't have HSV, I would NOT have stopped him. Ugh, anyways.


During our date on Saturday, he said about being self conscious because he had pimple on his bottom lip. Yeah, I noticed it but didn't think of it. (As a 35 year old, I still struggle with the occasional acne flare up.)He made a comment " i didn't want you to think it was like herpes". I brushed off the comment but still had a slight sinking feeling.


Sunday evening, he texted me that he had a really good time and would like to see me again soon. Soon is now either Thursday(where I'll probably stay the night with him) or Saturday. Since we have some history that no one else can ever take from each other's lives, I am hoping he will take my news okay. Our chemistry is palpable, and it just feels good to be around him again. I know, I am basing this off of spending 20 hours with someone who I haven't seen in 20 years.


I've had HSV2 for 6 months now and mentally, I have moved on from the initial shock. For me it's more of a mental nuisance. I take antivirals twice a day, and haven't had a OB since my initial.My last disclosure with Ben was the first that actually resulted in a sexual relationship(the rest I ended before we were intimate) My methodology with Ben was anything but tactful. Pretty much made the statement that he needed to know something about me before moving forward. And I just blurted out that I have HSV.


Now I am trying to game plan a bit so I can be a little more eloquent about the delivery. I am thinking of saying " I am glad we reconnected and excited to see where this could go. But before that can happen, I want to share something personal about me that you need to know. I carry the HSV/herpes virus. Being honest with you is important and I want to be able to feel comfortable asking me any questions". How does that sound?? We are probably going out to dinner Thursday(will have a glass of wine for liquid courage) so do you think I should tell him at dinner or wait until we are back at his apartment?


Part of me is just trying to keep my feet on the ground and not get ahead myself whether a real relationship will come from this. The other part is yelling "full steam ahead, who cares if there isn't anything more than sex". I am aware he may have experience dating someone with it, or might have it himself.


He is a very affectionate and "handsy" for a lack of a better term. I know the transmission risk for sex and oral sex. What are the risks to HIM if he uses his hands on me down below?


Thank you for hearing me out. My nerves are building and I guess, I just am hoping for a boost in confidence. I am open to any and all comments/suggestions. I promise to keep you posted on the outcome!



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