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Oral Sex with Genital HSV-1

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Hi all! New here and this forum has been SUCH a help in processing my genital HSV-1 diagnosis since I found out in March. There is one question I have that I've been unable to find real info/statistics on, and I'm hoping someone can help. I'm single (newly divorced) and in a phase of engaging in pretty casual sex, but I've disclosed to each of my partners since finding out, and they've ALL had the same question - can they give me oral? Assuming someone negative for herpes wanted to perform oral sex on someone with genital HSV-1, what are the risks? It would be a major bummer to give up oral sex, but I get that in a casual setting, it's not a risk most guys are up for. If I do start spending time with anyone regularly, I plan to request they get tested since oral HSV-1 is so crazy common, but at this point, I'd just like to have some more concrete info to share. Thanks in advance!

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Glad you're handling your diagnosis in stride. Super glad to read that you've been disclosing! You should be proud, it takes a lot of guts!


As far as oral,

I have ghsv-1. It's been relatively quiet for me since my first outbreak. My girlfriend goes down occasionally over the past 8ish months since my diagnosis. No evidence of transmission so far, but she is also diagnosed with the same.

So, immunity, outbreak, timing, angle of the light of the moon. Who knows...

I'm not one to place my bets on statistics, but if you take suppression medicine and abstain during outbreaks, risk is statistically much lower.

However, there will always be risk no matter what. That's why disclosure, consent, and being respectful of others' right to decide what they do with their body, with who, and when, matter. If you keep disclosing, allowing others' opportunity to make their own decisions and respect their right to decline due to uncertainty, you won't have to accept guilt or sole responsibility for a possible transmission.

The fact is, people should be allowed the right to decide what they do with their body, what risk is acceptable, and hold themselves responsible for their own choices. If you're honest up front, and don't try to decieve or mislead, then you really can't hold yourself accountable for their actions. You can continue to be honest and caring, you can plan to offer some support if transmission happens, but you can't be expected to accept blame (or most importantly, deal with negativity or aggression) when someone accepts a risk and stuff happens.


Either way, it is up to you and the person / people you decide to be intimate with to decide for yourselves what is too unknown / risky and what is okay.

And on that note, remember that it isn't all on you. They have to do their part for themselves. And you aren't the only person out there with a diagnosis, so in the process of disclosing, ask the other person to do the same if they have their own diagnosis.

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