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Just Diagnosed and totally In the Dark

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Hi lovely people


I've just been diagnosed with HSV-2 after being treated incorrectly about 3 times (for UTI ect) a different doctor finally gave me a swap test which proved positive on the tip of my penis. Im assuming due to the Dysuria that its within my urethra (fun right). My doctor after telling me simply said "its a nussence dont worry about it" which I think may have been putting it a little lightly. I had no lesions anywhere apart from in my urethra (im guessing) so its hard to know if my outbreak has ended. I certainly feel physically fine now (Mentally im very depressed if ill be totally honest)


I've already started suppressants and the outbreak seems to have ended. My question is will my herpes only re-occur in my urethra and therefore using a condom with suppressants will almost take out the risk of spreading it to a partner?. Its hard to know when my outbreak has finished. I just want to do the right thing and no spread this on and put people through what im going through


Thank you for your kind responses. I hope you all have a lovely day

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Focus on your goals and your future and you'll be fine.

There will be some down days and some anxiety along the way, but if you try to remember that nothing about who you are has changed, you'll get through those less awesome times more easily.

You might have to do some work to earn your pride back, but you can do it by continuing to tackle the same goals and dreams you always have been chasing.


For transmission:

Keep taking your meds both for suppression and to help prevent transmission. It has to be built up in your system and stay there to have any effect on transmission, so keeping up with it as long as you're dating is a good idea. It can take weeks or months before it will effect transmission rates.

Early on is when you are at most risk of spreading or transmitting the virus. Wash your hamds with regular soap ans warm water to effectively kill the virus after touching your junk, and you'll have nothing to worry about.

Be determined to disclose to future partners. It's a matter of consent. Don't rob someone of their right to consent by omitting your diagnosis before getting physical.

Use protection unless the other person is fully aware of the risk. Make sure you know how to wear a condom properly (you'd be surprised how many people don't know).


For your own health:

Take a look at your habits and your diet.

Now is a good time to get serious about your physical and mental health. If there is something you've been putting off on changing, let preventing outbreak be a little extra motivation.

Personally, I have ghsv-1 and I've been lucky enough to only have one outbreak in about 9ish months. Part of it is my initial health, another is the virus itself, and helped moreso by my own determination to adjust my diet and exercise habits for the better.

You may have a few more outbreaks ahead of you. You may have one or two a year. You may never hear from herpes again. It's a very case by case thing.

Just be aware that you could potentially spread the virus to any mucus memberane, such as eyes, mouth, throat, anus, etc... This is not likely to happen if you wash your hands regularly with normal soap and warm water. As time goes on, and your immune system gets better at fighting the virus, chances of spreading on your own body will reduce.

You may get another outbreak in the same area, or a new area. This has a lot to do with many third variables that are hard to pinpoint. Best to take the time to see to your habits and ensure they are healthy ones, keep taking your medication until you get to a situation where you don't want to / don't need to anymore.

Personally, I stopped shaving pubic hair for a while (mabye a month or two?) After my diagnosis. I did that to avoid spreading the virus on myself. Obviously, if you shave, don't share razors. It's unhygienic in the first place, but even more risky with hsv. After you are confident that your immune system has things under control, you'll likely naturally start shaving pubic hair again. That's how it worked for me, anyway.


For other situations:

There is little to no data to suggest that a genital infection could be transmitted outside skin to skin contact. True, oral herpes can be spread by sharing drinks, but as long as you don't rub your junk all over stuff people will touch, you really have nothing to worry about.

The medical community seems to be on the fence about towels.

1. Towels are inanimate and inherently pose an unlivable environment for the virus. It tends to die within minutes or seconds outside a host.

2. Towels are warm and wet right after use, and may allow the virus to live a little longer.

3. There is no conclusive research on the topic of towels. Better safe than sorry, I guess?

Don't share razors. It's risky, even ignoring hsv.

Disclose before anyone makes contact with your junk in anyway, hands, mouth, gentials, anything. Shedding is hard to predict, but is most common during the first year or two after initial outbreak.


Other than that,

Maybe make plans to do something exciting for yourself. If you've been putting aside money for a rainy day, this would be that rainy day you've been preparing for. See a concert, go to an event, do that work on your car. Something that gets you up and out of the house, and gives you something to be excited about. It'll help cultivate a positive view of the future and remind you that there are a million more exciting things to experience.

Do good stuff for people close to you. Even small things help bolster your self-image, and that's really important right now.

See the things in yourself that you like. Say it out loud if you want.

Appreciate yourself and the good things in your life. There are many, and they are well earned!



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No payback necessary. I'm paying forward about 6 people worth of huge support and advice, both on this site and in person, that all helped me to deal when I was down, angry and confused.

If you really want to do something to eve the balance, seek out opportunities to do small things for other people. Hold a door, offer to help, be a sympathetic ear to listen. It doesn't have to be anything profound, just a little decentcy goes a long way.

Give yourself permission to feel the pride and satisfaction, even when the people you try to help are ungrateful.

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