Just diagnosed and feel like I'm drowning. I need support

[Lighthouse3]

After having to fight to get into the doc I was diagnosed with herpes. I have herpes. It was the straw that broke this camel's back. I've been fighting through devastating life events since 2015 (miscarriages, family death, poverty) and now this. I seriously considered suicide multiple times since this discovery. I'm so very, very tired of fighting and being strong. I won't do it because I have a beautiful son. I'm scared to touch him, hug him, even prepare him food. My faithful husband and I have been together for 11 years. The doctor said that one of us probably touched something contaminated and that's how it was contracted. We've had a wonderful sex life and now it's come full stop until we heal. Y'all, I am drowning. I can barely keep it together anymore. The hubs is a great support, but he has compartmentalized, accepted it, and moved on. I can't figure out this injustice. I feel that God is punishing me for something and I don't know what. Please, any encouraging words and kindness is so desperately needed.

[lmkrawz28]

God is not punishing you. This is a very common issue and it happens to alot of people. You are not alone in this. Herpes is a skin condition that is almost always transmitted through skin to skin contact, so I am not sure about picking it up on anything else. This is a virus, just like the cold or flu. It does not alter the person you are or ever have been. For me, I had to change my mindset about this. Focusing on what I do have and all the blessings in my life, rather than focusing on a not so bad skin condition has helped tremendously.

[Lighthouse3]

Thanks for your kindness. Every time I get sad today I tell myself "It's no worse than shingles. You are still a good person". I guess I'm so confused on how best to protect my son from this. I know that if you dry yourself after the shower that you can transmit it to the eyes. I've also asked a friend to help me find a therapist. My Type A personality is just having trouble coping I guess. I saw a trigger can be stress. What do you do to help keep calm?