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One time exposure - 20 days out

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I got drunk and had a one off encounter with someone who disclosed after the fact.

We made out and then clothes popped off - she gave me oral and then I placed protection on.  We had sexual intercourse and after wards I took the condom off.  

She laid on top of me for a while and then I left.  Afterwards ( the next morning I got a disclosure text stating she had herpes and had it for 12 years - she stated she New he’s body well and hadn’t had an outbreak in over a year).  I asked what type - she stated she didn’t know - she only knew she had herpes.  

I of course was immediately in shock - and the anxiety train cranked up.  The next day I was at a dinner party - felt like absolute shit - BUT after arriving home and describing my symptoms - my roommate confirmed he had the same thing -

que temperature taking religiously and checking my downstairs for any suspect bumps, cuts - you’ve heard it.

So feel tinglies and ball itches and gut pain for the next 3 days with loose stool - still same thing for my roommate - so I’m thinking all in my head.  

The next 2.5 weeks is me - anytime I feel my underwear touch anything and feels scratchy sprinting to the bathroom and checking business out.  Balls were red and itchy all over - no lesions.  Redness is still there (maybe I never realized how red my balls were?)

Anywhoo - here is the thing - I went to concerts - went jogging - did lots of stuff - went on dates.  When I wasn’t thinking about it - never ever felt anything.  Also - when I took clothes off and was naked - NO ITCHES EVER.  Chill in bed - sit and watch a movie - whatever and no itches or tingles at all - hence why I think it’s my anxiety or something bacterial.

que three days ago - sittin on couch feel a tingle on my lip - uncouncioualy scratch - felt strange.  Check my face - three red blisters below my nose above my lip - tingles and burns.  Been checking my temp and low and behold - I get a low grade fever (.5 above normal). After 4 days slight temp dissapears.  To be clear if I have HSV1 on my face - it’s a homerun - in the sense that it’s the easier one to disclose and the majority of people have it (socially and mentally this one would be easier) 

i had one cold sore two years ago in my face - and of course never had it swabbed - going in Saturday to get checked but - here we are at 20 days - no more itching - never got to painful and when distracted never felt the itching.  

What are your thoughts?

to be 100% honest if I got it - I got it - nothing I can change.  More worried because me and my 12 yr partner are on a break and this was MY FIRST ENCOUNTER!  Going back and letting her know I hmgot aomething might just destroy the relationship. 

You can be brutal and honest.


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I think you’ll feel much better after getting checked. 

But, if it were genital herpes it usually takes a loooong time to show up in males. My partner now (who I think gave it to me) and I have unprotected sex all the time and I was diagnosed with HSV 2 in January. He’s never had an outbreak. He thinks he’s “immune” but that’s a different story. 


You can obviously still get it because she could have had an outbreak somewhere other than what a condom would cover. And if you went down on her. Same thing (but if you didn’t, it would be strange to have cold sores from her because it’s shown up usually where it’s touched). 


Also as someone with genital herpes there is NO WAY I could be sexually active during an outbreak. Ever. My boyfriend doesn’t touch me because he knows haha. So it’s less likely for it to spread. Doesn’t sound like she had an outbreak during the time. Still kinda shit she told you after the fact though especially if she’s had it so long. 


Long story short - I don’t think you would get symptoms that quickly. But stress is a huge trigger for it so try not to worry until you have to. Have them do an antibody test though. I hear those kind of help with timeline. 

I’m sure your other partner will understand if they love you!! 

Best of luck. 

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Never gave the person oral - I think my stress over all this made me have an outbreak of an already existing HSV1 outbreak on my face.  Which is understandable - as I had my first ever panic/anxiety attack ever when I focused on it.  I mean I jump out of planes and do crazy shit and have never had anxiety like I have for the past 20 days - couldn’t sleep - didn’t want food - the whole 9.

I have never had an oral swab before - but it looks classically like a herpes honeycomb.

Worry from the long term relationship is BECAUSE  we opened the relationship up due to rough times - hence worries about this being the proverbial nail in the coffins.



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Went to the doctors - they did an in depth physical exam after I ran the whole situation - said it would most likely be anxiety - had em check every bump and crevice - physical exam passed with flying colors.


22 days after exposure no outbreak 

did the blood work - IGG - i know it’s early but I wanted to get a baseline - will have results in 3-4 days.  Fingers crossed! 

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So currently I am at 4 weeks and one day.  Both igg tests came back negative - but that’s of course non 100% because it was a baseline.

Symptoms of fever and swollen lymph nodes - attributed due to strange testicle pain - felt like my tubes connecting my penis to my testicles felt “stiff”.  Hopped on the ole inter webs and researched the living crap out of it.  The symptoms were 100%  Went to the doctor and they checked me out and said I have Epididymitis - on antiobiotics now for the bacterial infection.  3 days left - all tension and pain gone.  So feeling much better.

side affect from Antibiotics - have a psoriasis outbreak on my penis - WHICH has happened before.  Saw it and my brain went bananas - no itchiness - no puffiness or soreness - just “blotchy skin” after three days of an assigned topical it has 99% disappeared.  No pain no blisters so that was reassuring.

Anxiety has since gone from 100% to 10% and I’ve been keeping busy.  

I currently have to wait till the 8 week mark to be comfortably sure.  

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