Please help: I don't know what to do

[Guilt]

To everyone that will read this, 

Please don't think that I am a bad person. I have made such a terrible mistake and I don't know what to do, the guilt is eating me up inside and I feel like I am being swallowed whole. I feel suicidal. 

I was recently given the diagnosis of HSV-2 positive. I have never had any symptoms, and had, until recently been in a 2 year relationship with a man, in which we had unprotected sex. When we broke up he got a sexual health check and I had not transmitted it.

 Last night, I had a big Christmas party at work, and it was an open bar. I am a severe lightweight since I am recovering from Anorexia and I was so nervous about being around new people I drank so much more than I ever have done in my life. I can't remember a thing except that I woke up the next morning in bed with a colleague. We had been flirting and things had happened beforehand but never actual sex. I had been gearing myself up to telling him about my HSV-2 prior to having sex with him (this is my first sexual encounter since being diagnosed), but I was so wasted I can't even remember getting in the car or the sex itself. 

I tried to act natural and normal and I asked whether we had used a condom. He said no. 😣 I am just in pieces. The guilt is eating me up inside. 

The man is a lot older than I am and didn't seem too bothered by any of it, mentioning that at least I was on contraception. 

The worst thing about all this is that this man's best friend is the flatmate of someone I had had sex with, and our 'relationship' had ended badly because I decided to be an adult and get demand that we get a sexual health check if we were to carry on having sex (This was how I found out I had HSV-2) This man was a narcissist and now absolutely hates my guts, even though I didn't give him anything; he was clean. So the likelihood is, this man will probably tell flatmate that I have herpes, and in turn, he will tell the colleague I slept with. I am distraught with what I have done, distraught. I should have demanded to use a condom, I shouldn't have got so drunk, I am such an idiot. 

I know the likelihood of me transmitting anything was low, I know this. But I feel like such a fool and I don't know whether to just tell him outright now before he may find out from his mate or just wait and tell the truth if he asks whether I have herpes. 

I know what I have done is wrong, and I have to take responsibility for my actions, I am just so terrified that it could spread around work if this man gets angry.

I am so sorry for such a long post, I just don't know where to turn.

[Lvsandy]

don't beat yourself up over it. just think positive that everything will turn out ok

[sweetlove884]

I think it would be best to tell him. Surely he will have to realize it's his own damn fault for not using protection. He's a big boy. 

Just explain it like you did to us