Herpes anniversary

[nobody555]

So weird I am here a year later. I remember going on this website trying to find a glimmer of hope to get me through the terrible news. I never in a million years thought I would be where I am today.

A year ago I was devastated and heart broken, thought my love life and future were over. Let me tell you, this was the furthest from the truth. I was in a low place a year ago. I basically gave up dating and focused solely on my career. I worked out everyday and took care of myself as best as I could. This time allowed me to understand myself and forgive myself. 

All of sudden, I met the love of my life at the gym haha! I thought he wouldn't accept me but I am allowed to have fun and make friends. Turns out he really liked me and I geared up to tell him my little secret. (disclosure post is on here as well if you want to look that up) Anyways flash forward 8 months, he is everything I have ever wanted in a man. He treats me like a beautiful queen. Something I have looked for pre herpes but never found. Now I have a man who loves every part of me and accepts even my flaws. I use to think all the time how much I hated myself for having this gift that keeps giving. But I am so much stronger now. Nothing even comes close to trying to overcome the stigma and becoming so vulnerable to open yourself up to rejection. I am a better person because of this and I would have never saw myself to be like this a year ago. It is possible to be happy and fall in love. I PROMISE! Herpes does not define you. Forgive and love yourself. The rest will come with time.

Message me if you need someone to talk to. Always here to listen!

[LNAA1]

I have struggled with acceptance each time I date. I even stopped dating for many years. I finally let myself be vulnerable a few times now and each time the other person ran. How can I get over this?  How can I disclose without it making me feel horrible about myself?

[nobody555]

3 hours ago, LNAA1 said:

I have struggled with acceptance each time I date. I even stopped dating for many years. I finally let myself be vulnerable a few times now and each time the other person ran. How can I get over this?  How can I disclose without it making me feel horrible about myself?

I think I was pretty lucky after my diagnosis. I only dated one guy and disclosure was successful so I don't have much advice. But what I can say is I worked on myself drastically to forgive myself for having faults and flaws. I decided I was going to become who I always wanted to emotionally and physically. The gym helps me a lot.

Once I met my boyfriend I dated him for a few months without sex to 1. make sure he was worthy of my vulnerability and secret  and 2. To allow him to understand who I am without this bomb dropping info. A lot of people like to disclose right away to avoid getting attached but the way I see it is nobody asked us if we wanted this so why would someone else risk it unless they have a REAL GOOD answer. The answer is "because he/she is so amazing I don't care". I didn't disclose to my boyfriend until I KNEW I really cared about this man and my own shame and fear of rejection came second to protecting him. 

When I disclosed I simply stated this is what I found out. These are some facts. And this is what you now need to decide. Do you have any more questions? Then he asked many things. My boyfriend cared deeply about me but his main concern was having a family which I knew so I learned facts ahead of time about all of that. I believe it knowing your audience is key. 

Bottom line is you should not feel horrible about yourself. You are amazing. Use confidence to lay it out on the line. Nobody is perfect. We all have baggage. You did nothing different than anyone else on this planet, we just happened to get unlucky. 

[LNAA1]

Thank you. I thought that I knew this last person very well. It hurts so much. Each time it gets harder and harder to pick myself up and move on. I know that I am amazing, with so many good qualities, I just wish that someone else could see it.