Confused and Lost

[Flamingo4Now]

This year had been the hardest year in my life. But I’m going to focus on this week. So I’ve been with my husband for almost 3 years we recently got married back in October. 

This week he turned 36. I really love holidays and special events so I was in better spirits than normal. A day after his birthday I kept getting these weird tingly / itchy feelings in my butt and I just thought there was nothing to it. A day free that while showering I had some of the worst pain in my private area. Initially I thought it was the new soap and the fact I use exfoliating gloves. However I could barely get out of the shower. 

I called over for him to help me and when I laid on the bed I asked him to take a picture & he said what I was thinking maybe it could be the gloves & soap. So I thought nothing of it. 

Luckily I work from home so I didn’t have to walk too much for the next couple days, but the pain didn’t subside. So I told hubby I think I need to go to the hospital. 

Before I went I asked him if he had been with anyone else during the entire time we have been together, because I had a feeling it was an STD. And the last time I got checked ( which was 2twice before we got together) I didn’t have any STDS. He said no. Then he proceeded to say “Do you think I gave you something?” I said that I’m just trying to make sure I have an idea of what’s happening. 

I get to the hospital and as soon as the doctor sees me he knew what it was and took some test before he told me that I have herpes. 

My works just came falling down. Not to offend anyone, but having herpes is the second worst thing in my mind that can happen to me. My aunt died from contracting a fatal STD from her husband and I just always made sure to take precautions when having sex. While I dated my husbands I asked him server all times about his status and when he got checked and he always told me he was fine. 

Back to the hospital. He came back in and I told him that the doctor said I have herpes. He said nothing. No facial expression, nothing. When getting dressed to leave the hospital I started crying. All he said was don’t cry. 

When he got back home he sits me down and tells me that he hasn’t been cheating on me. He swore on it. I’ve been faithful the whole time, so I wasn’t believing that. Then he drops a bomb on me. 

He told me that he has had herpes since he got out of A school in 2004. 2004! He’s known he has had herpes since 2004! We got together in 2016. 

I am so numb right now. I have no idea what to do, say, or think. I need some help 

 

 

[sarahsfocus]

I'm so sorry.  I think you were betrayed by your husband. I would have so many feelings like you. I guess all you can do is take care of your body and try to manage the outbreaks. I do hope things get better for you.I'm here if you need to talk.hugs Sarah.