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Hi guys! I found out recently that I have contracted HSV. I don’t really have a problem with the diagnosis itself as I know the medical facts about it and know that it does not really affect your health and daily life.

The main thing I am extremely worried about is disclosing to a new guy that I have been seeing and how he is going to take it. I have been putting off having sex with him solely for this reason and I feel that it has gotten to the point where I need to say something. 

For those of you who have disclosed and it went well, do you have any tips on how to relay the diagnosis? And examples of what you said? 

 

Thanks for the help! 

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HI!  I've disclosed to three or four partners, family and friends.  Each story was a little different (if you find my posts, it'll be easier than trying to retype everything 🙂) but I'll share some of the key things I learned.

Say you have herpes to yourself as much as possible and add a positive trait about yourself to go with it.  I remember when I was first diagnosed, just saying it out loud helped me be more comfortable talking about it.

If you haven't told your inner circle & family yet, start there, it's a great way to practice and I found ways that made sense for me.  I talk about it randomly too with friends. It makes it just another conversation without so much weight to it. 

Stats are great, but not everyone cares (or can relate to) numbers. Cater your message to the person in line with your personality.  I remember one guy I told I explained that he had a better chance of getting hit by a car than on his way to work than getting HSV from me.  It was more relatable than me saying, "there's a 1% risk of transmission if we use condoms and I continue my suppressive therapy."  

I've usually started with telling them I wanted to be upfront and honest about things, let them know I carry the herpes virus, that I'm about full transparency and wanted to give them a choice. Answer any questions and it kinda goes from there. 

Hope this helps some.  I know there are quite a few people who have had successful (and not so successful) disclosure.  Wishing you the best with the former  💞🙂

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