Trying to cope after 4 months and still not there

[Anomyous12]

To all the caring people out here

It has been a psychologically and mentally draining 4 months. I had been a victim of non-disclosure where my 4 months ex girlfriend did not tell me about her recent genital HSV1 diagnosis before a month we met. She was in denial and ashamed and risked my health over multiple interactions and I got the gift that keeps spreading.

After I got infected and I confronted her she ghosted me and said she does not want to see me anymore. Prior to the relationship she was all in love with me but I had no idea that she just wanted to have sex after she was diagnosed and did not cared for my health and I became the victim of her act. She did not even care to ask me about my outbreaks, took no responsibility as an adult who is 30+ and said figure your life for yourself. I had to call her and beg her so many times to just make her realize what she has done by infecting someone without consent but she failed to realize it and then later blocked me.

Since last month it has been a great struggle to face it mentally. It sounds cliche but I get the feeling of being abused, betrayed and left with a incurable disease from a person whom I supported when she told me and  I loved her. I am just in shock as to how can someone be so evil to infect someone with purpose and leave them to die. I have had multiple meltdowns here and there and have lost focus and keep thinking about this. I also fear that finding a future partner is a big issue as who will want to date a person who has GHSV1. I feel that I should just die somewhere that would be better than going through this. I feel that I am trapped in this cycle and not able to move ahead with a high chin. I am not a guy who sleeps around and I had a genuine intention of getting serious LTR wiht her, but in return i got herpes and betrayal and abuse. I feel so depressed, sick and mentally unstable that I cry often. Also that I am a mixed race guy it would be hard to find people who will accept me for myself and overlook herpes....

I need some support and advice as to how to get over this feeling and move on it has been 4 months already with multiple doctor visits

[sadguy2019]

Robdarko, read your story. My heart goes out to you in your situation. Sounds like you've never had a coldsore before, and fell victim to hsv1 genitally. The light in your situation is that it's not hsv2. 50% of the population has hsv1. The disclosure is simple, "you have the virus that causes coldsores". if someone has a history of coldsores, you cannot infect someone with hsv1 genitally or least thats what some doctors will tell you. you should talk to terri warren shes great.