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New to herpes and need answers please!

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Hello Everyone ! 

I got HSV1 genital herpes about a month ago. When I found out I cried for 3 days and was beside myself ( getting into a dark hole at times) . However, I am learning to live with the Virus and move forward now. 

My Story 

A lonely single mom ( who hadn’t had sex for 7 years) deciding to have fun with a guy I had been talking to for a while on Tinder. To be honest I have never been one to do this, or believe in doing this EVER  ( been with only 2 people before this who I was in relationships with)  With this and a friend pressuring me to “ break the drought” mixed with alcohol , it obvs wasn’t the best decision, because here I am. I got symptoms almost immediately after, and was confirmed by swap. I felt so disgusted with myself, blamed myself , and have been trying to forgive myself for this decision I made ever since. 

After I got over my initial shock I let the guy know , and told him I wanted to do the right thing by him and be honest and let him know..  I dont know if he knew/knows he had it but after I told him he thanked me and said he would get checked and that he always wore protection. He still talked to me afterwards ( snapchat) and then stopped talking to me , go figure... I ended up deleting him. 

I have some questions ... 

1. I got diagnosed with HSV1 genital herpes im guessing through oral sex (we used protection elsewhere).  However he kissed me aswell so how come I didn’t get it on my mouth too? can I get it in both places ( ive had nothing on my mouth) ? 

2. My primary outbreak was really mild like 2-3 bumps and thats it, no bad flu like symptoms no pain or anything. Got the meds and dealt with that.  However the next outbreak I had was really bad, there was a bit of burning sensation but nothing majorly painful but when I checked the outbreak there was heapss and also really red and raw looking is this normal for a second outbreak? 

3. I have had quite a few outbreaks since .. No pain or anything just annoying tingles here and there which im guessing is an outbreak. I get symptoms for a few days ( sometimes just a day) then they disappear and come back this has been happening since I got it.  Is this normal? will it be like this for a while?. What can I expect in my first year with this virus?

4. I currently don’t take any medication for herpes and will reconsider if I get into a relationship. I am currently trialing natural routes by eating really healthy ( mostly raw whole foods if fruits and veggies  ) and also take Lysine daily and olive leaf to boost immunity to try and help fight the virus. Does anyone else not take medication? Without taking medication will my outbreaks just keep going on? and will they last longer? 

As much as it sucks to have this virus it has really taught me alot. I realised how un educated I have been about sex and especially this virus. I knew nothing about herpes. My previous relationships I never had sex talks with my partners and we would just have sex all the time. This virus has taught me to now be more conscious and knowledgable about sex ( I went and researched and learned about all stds  lol) and will now have to be vulnerable in having those conversations with potential future partners.  

A month on from reading and researching Herpes , in all, without the stigma its really just an annoying skin infection . And im thinking of it like that. I also suffer from Eczema which also has no cure but I manage it well and rarely have outbreaks.  I just know with this virus I have to be safe and know how to manage my symptoms and keep others safe with an outbreak . 

It has been a rollercoaster month but I am choosing to be strong and positive with my life moving forward.  I know there are others out there going through worse things like Cancer and this virus is not life threatening. 

To get me through I do daily meditation, practicing gratitude and engaging in positive thinking.  Im gonna kick its but! It’s def testing me, but making me stronger. I hope everyone here can see the light too. 

Thanks for reading if you got to the end ha! 

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I love your positivity. It almost makes me ashamed for letting the virus get to me so much!

i can’t answer a lot of your questions but I can tell you that my first outbreak was the mildest. I did have some fever and a swollen gland in my groin but only one small blister. My second 5 months later, was MUCH worse and lasted much longer and since then, I’ve had regular ob’s that vary in severity. Some don’t even break the surface and disappear and some present with a horrible headache and slight fever again. 

I cant say much from experience as I’ve only knowingly had the virus for around ten months but from the advice I’ve had, there’s no set pattern as each of us is different and it can pretty much have a mind if it’s own in the first year. All the info you read can give a rough guide to the virus but it can vary greatly especially in the first year. 

I take medication sometimes for some outbreaks and for me, acyclovir definitely helps. It certainly shortens the ob and has even stopped it in its tracks when I’ve taken it early enough so I have every faith it works. Definitely worth looking into. 

Also still on the rollercoaster. It’s been one hell of a ride! 

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