Sumshine
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Posts posted by Sumshine
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I would suggest asking Dr to give you daily dose of anti viral rather than just when an outbreak occurs. Sounds like you are having them frequently enough to warrant daily dose.
Sounds like he mentioned the flu in the event you ended up with the H from him, he could say " well, I had flu like symptoms prior to our having sex, I must have had it and didn't know." It just sounds a bit fishy to me.
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Well, you are both being way too paranoid about transmission. If you are that worried I would either wait a few more months to make certain she is worth the risk, or you might want to move on. The transmission risk is so low female to male, her on valtrex and you wearing a condom......there's no need for further protection unless you just abstain from sex entirely. You can read the risks in the handout from this website. Yes, there is risk, but you are safer with her knowing she has H and has taken every step to lessen transmission, than you would be with anyone else unless you've witnessed their std testing proof. Lots of people, including myself, have never passed this on and a lot of people opt to just forgo condoms and just take anti viral. Best of luck to you both! Kudos to her for disclosing and you educating yourself on H. It's really not a big deal unless you make it one!
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Here's my question: if you are on antiviral and it keeps you from breaking out ( previous to antiviral, I had about 5 obs per year) does that make you asymptomatic?
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It's been my experience (had this for decades) and Terri Warren (a herpes expert) also explains that herpes doesn't shed through thick skin areas such as thighs, abdomen and buttocks (provided you are not broken out there)....the skin is just too thick for the virus to come through.
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Cheer to you!!! I feel exactly the same and contracted this very young from a man who I was crazy about so it didn't matter. Life went on. 30 some odd years later, I'm happily married and happy to say (I have hvs 2 by the way), I have NEVER passed it to anyone!!! I repeat no one!!! I just practiced safe sex, take antivirals, disclosed ( married for many moons now)...and live a great life!!!!
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He's obviously uneducated/ignorant on the subject of Herpes and that's exactly how people end up with it. He can certainly shed the virus at any given time via oral sex. He really needs to know that, but he seems to be turning a blind eye. I think I would send him the proof before moving forward.
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Tell him when you feel comfortable, but do not freak out when telling him or make a big deal of it. It's really not. If you freak, he will too. Be calm, confident, educate him and move forward.
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Honestly, the bump does not sound like H to me. Fever, sore throat, etc...yes, but could be anything. I would, obviously, get checked based on his symptoms and the timeline does fit. You can definitely acquire H if your partner is having an active outbreak with a condom on. That's exactly how I acquired it many decades ago. However, my first ob was a lesion inside that was very painful and lasted about a month. It was blisters after that with clear fluid.
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Keep in mind, he could have given this to you! Maybe he knows he has it or maybe he doesn't either way, it could have come from him. The fact that he hasn't been checked sort of speaks for itself. That's just my oppinion. Anyone who is freaking out (per say) and threatening to break up, likely would get checked asap. Just sounds a bit suspicious to me.
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Just be yourself!!! Keep living life as you did and someone will come along. You have not changed. I've had this almost 4 decades, been married for 22 yrs. Never passed this on to anyone and I have hvs2 and am on daily anti viral. Just continue to disclose and use protection. Life is not only good, but GREAT!!!
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Dreading life ahead with hsv2
in My herpes story
Posted
Keep knowing you are definitely worth it and H does not define you! You can have a great life. I've had this decades and life is great!!!
I think he knew he had it just by how much of an ass he was when you told him of your issues. He threw the "flu card" in there up front in the event he passed it to you.....he could then say "well, I guess my flu symptoms could have been first onset of H."