greydaysandbrighternights

My liver is the least of my problems. I haven’t eaten since Saturday and I’ve barely slept 8 hours with either pain or anxiety. Or both. I’ll orobably starve to death before my liver packs in! LOL. Sorry. If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry. Seriously though, I was gonna have a tiny glass of wine 😳. I’m already in it now! no point being good at this stage.

Aw thanks for replying @JulyPIs it possible for them to pop within 48 hours of appearing? Obviously, I haven’t a clue. I’m just terrified of more pain and grateful I can still pee! My Dr didn’t give me anything for the pain. Can I buy it? Or should I request it? Sorry to be a nuisance.

So, I’m 4 days into what I believe is my first OB. Started Acyclovir today and so far I have a larger lesion and a few tiny ones which have been appearing over the last 48 hours. ( not seen any blisters though, just open shallow sores. Maybe that’s yet to come...) In general, the larger one is very painful compared to the others but this intense burning/crawling/tingling and painful feeling is persistent and has been from the beginning. Is this a typical symptom of GH? Or is it still a prodome that means more will keep appearing? thanks x

I felt I needed to comment as You’re the same age as my daughter you poor thing and I know I’m finding this hard enough at twice your age. You must be in a muddle but you’re far from alone. I’ve come on here to vent and talk ( perhaps a little too much in the last couple of days) but like you, I feel I can’t tell anybody aside from my partner, not even my best friend who knows my deepest darkest secrets. There will always be judgment by some and I don’t need that at the moment. I need love and care given how fragile I feel. Whether I’ll change my mind in the future or not... we’ll have to see but for now I’m not risking it. From what I’ve read and learned, ( and please anyone feel free to correct me) hsv 1 can have a worse first outbreak than HSV 2 but the recurrence rate and severity of outbreaks of HSV 1 tend to be much less than that of HSV 2. That being said, I think both strains have a mind of their own and there are always exceptions given we’re all individual with individual immune systems and genetic makeup. chin up lovely x

Well, I managed to get a drs app. I nearly didn’t go. The thought of having to take a bath and then be poked at in that excruciatingly painful area was nearly too much to bear but I powered through and took two painkillers half an hr before I got up. Surprisingly, the pain was still there but much more bearable than yesterday. I was elated! I slathered my lady bits in Sudocrem yesterday that I’ve been keeping in the fridge so I don’t know if that’s got anything to do with it. Anyways, I lied to the receptionist and told her I thought I had an abscess and managed to see the nurse. She was lovely but her manner changed slightly when I told her that actually, I suspected I had GH and explained my story. She wiped the area with alcohol wipes and Jesus Christ all mighty mother of god, I nearly hit the roof and gripped her quite hard on the arms. She had a good look and said the big lesion had been ‘de- roofed’ and she wasn’t certain it looked like herpes. ( I’m puzzled at this point as I thought the lesions went through an open sore stage as a matter of course). Then I had to ask her to swab it ( which I don’t think she had any intentions of doing). And then I had to ask her to feel how swollen my gland in my groin was. She then went off to ask the doctor if a swollen lymph gland was a symptom of an OB :-/. She cane back, said she was going to treat me for GH as a precaution and asked if my partner was faithful to which I told her that I believed so but nobody can ever know that for 100% certainty. And then she said it probably would have been better to go to the GUM clinic next week. ( which I understood, but by then, the worst of my symptoms may well have disappeared ffs). Then she spent a good 20 minutes looking for what medication I needed and at what dosage. ( after days researching, I could have told her but I kept quiet). her and the Dr then looked it up to check it was right.( I was cringing at this point thinking that they don’t see this very often). Anyways, came away with Acyclovir to take 3x daily although she said I may need more if I develop any more lesions but she still wasn’t convinced it was GH. Home now with my bestest friend, Sudocrem from the fridge and back in the same pain and anxiety as yesterday with a bit of added humiliation to boot. Sorry for the long post. I feel so much better getting this crap off my chest though!

Thanks for sharing. I too am terrified and battling the anxiety while in the middle of what seems to be my first OB and stories like yours are helping me immensely. x

As for my partner. He is mortified that he may have given this to me but I see no point in blame at this stage. It’s irrelevant and I could have given it to him for all I know although, this does seem a classic primary outbreak as you said and he has been virtually symptomless except for a stubborn blister. Regardless, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me deliberately and has been very worried all day. I don’t think he understands the implications of this situation fully..yet. But I do. I really do. Gid I hate my doctor aswell. He’s such an arsehole!

Thank you both so much for taking the time to comment. Your kindness has made me tearful. I’m devastated and frightened. I tried a bath earlier which was very painful and from what I’ve read, this isn’t even close to the worst part yet. And I keep imagining tingles everywhere that are making me paranoid about more lesions turning up. I will go to my doctors tomorrow and get it all swabbed only for confirmation and treatment as I haven’t eaten or slept in days and I know this isn’t good. I think we can safely say what this is now. I had cervical cancer and was successfully treated last year. I don’t know if I’ve recovered enough mentally to deal with this. The panic is rising already.

And now I have developed a second smaller lesion on the right side. Now I’m really panicking!

I’ve just realised I’ve got it and I don’t know if I feel extremely ill from the shock of it or the actual virus. I’m panicking my guts out as the pain gets worse. You’re not alone.

It’s actually my immune system that’s more at fault I suppose but that’s how I feel at the moment. Betrayed by my own body. I’m a 40yr old who’s been in a committed relationship with my partner for nearly 3 years. Looking back, he had displayed symptoms of GH in the past but we’ve always brushed them off as something else and as he works away, I probably don’t really see a lot of it. Weekend before last, he developed a small red patch on his penis the day after sex that has repeatedly scabbed and wept since ( I know, alarm bells) but we just put it down to friction. Fast forward a week. Saturday. I woke to an itch and scratched it through my pyjamas. I was a little sore but thought nothing of it and went about my day. I also started my period that day. Sunday, the inside of my upper left labia, an area about the size of a pea, was swollen, red and painful to touch but no lesions etc on inspection so I just assumed I’d scratched too hard and treated with a cold compress and sudocreme throughout the day. Monday, I could feel the stabbing and burning in the same area when I woke and found it uncomfortable to sit and walk so took some painkillers before work but I didn’t feel great all day and I felt warm and clammy. By the time I came back from work, I had an open sore at the site of discomfort and my heart sank. I think I knew then... Tuesday, today. The pain is somewhat worse, and the sore is now more pronounced and looks ‘wet’ with what looks like a smaller one beside it. It burns like hell for hours if it’s touched and I’ve also developed a VERY swollen gland in my groin on the same side as the lesion. I’m tired and I have a lingering headache but I think the paracetamol is helping with that. I haven’t been to the doctors yet. I’m still trying to get my head around this but I’m intelligent, I’ve researched, I know my body and I think it’s pretty obvious that this is GH. I don’t know how I feel. I’m terrified that this is going to develope further and cause the excruciating pain I’ve been reading about for days. I want to ignore the whole bloody thing but I’m consumed by it and living on the verge of a massive panic attack so I didn’t make it into work today. I didn’t even make it out of bed. I know that there are no definitive answers as to how this virus will affect me but i feel like I need to be prepared for the worst case if at all possible. i write this post as I feel I should given all the comfort I’ve received from these forums over the last few days and I send best wishes to you all. I got my beloved dog castrated this week. Karma I reckon! Any advice is welcome as I feel quite alone.