JVHeavenly

I agree. I might tell her in the future but right now I just can't deal with her being judgmental. And I have had to experience of telling someone I had slept with that I found out I had herpes and he got really mad and sad some really awful things. It hurt but it let me see that I'm glad that didn't work out. He's the only other person that could have given it to me and he refuses to go get tested because "He just knows doesn't have anything". And disclosure IS really hard but it's getting a little bit easier. It's all about how you look at it. I've found that if you have a negative outlook about it then that's how you portray it. But if you own up to it and put it out there that it's not the end of the world that I'm not gross and icky then the message will get across. Still, some people aren't equipped with the right knowledge or the right maturity level to handle this information that we're giving them. (Learned that the HARD way) It's just a new screening process. We're now able to see who is going to be good for us and who isn't. :) (sorry...just trying to be positive)

I have a similar experience. I found out last week that I have it and am going through an outbreak. I thought that I got it from my on again-off again boyfriend of over a year and a half but he got tested and he said his results came back negative. I was really confused because he had been the only person i had been for almost 6 months. Maybe i got it from someone else and it's just now showing up.... Either way it goes, i'm accepting it and trying to move on. My on/off boyfriend is now my ex but he's really supportive and like my best friend. And about the whole "he might demean you" thing...there are going to be people like that. It sucks and i've been through it with someone. They tried to blame me and called me all kinds of things and it hurt but it showed me that I can do better. That there are some people who will be there, understand and respect you and there are others who are going to be mean and disrespectful either because they're uninformed, scared or just being outright mean. It's all about screening. We don't have to put up with the superficial relationships anymore. We can eventually find that person that loves us no matter what, gives us the respect we deserve and makes us happy... :)

I'm glad that you were able to tell you mom. I'm scared to tell my parents. Not just because of the herpes but because my parents never approved of the person i was in a relationship with (for ignorant reasons) so i never told them about it. My parents and I don't really get along that well. Yes, i would love to have that support and love from my mom but i know that she would be too focused on WHO i got it from that the fact that i have it... Maybe one day in the future I will tell her but not now. And with the screening process, you're definitely right. I've told my ex and i told the other guy that I was active with. My ex handled it pretty well and is now my main support system and best friend while the other guy went off and called me all kinds of mean degrading things. It helps you to see who is going to be there and who NEEDS to be there. We don't need negative and immature people in our lives. We need people who will understand and love us regardless. Everyone deserves love and respect.

I can relate to exactly how you feel. I'm 19 and found out Monday that I had herpes. It hurt. I cried. I screamed. I didn't know what to do. And that first outbreak was hoooorrrribbbblee!!!! I've told friends and they act like every time they touch me they need to sanitize their hands and my suite mates in college found out and have taken to sanitizing the toilet seat every five minutes. The stigma sucks. It's people like that that help make things worse when I'm already feeling down. :( But reading this really helped me because I was lost as to how to work around that horrible burning and the blow drying trick seems really cool. I'm definitely going to have to try that one. This site is amazing. I don't know how I would ever be able to make it without you guys. :)

Thanks NSgreenville and Adrial for the kind words. :) they mean a lot. Well My ex got his results back and he said everything is negative. Is that possible? I heard that there can be false negative tests but I don't want to say anything to him about it. I mean, i'm glad that his results came back negative because I don't want him to have to go through this but we've been active together for a while on and off and in and out of other relationships. Even though he did come back negative, he's still being very supportive of what i'm going through. He's been my rock lately. The person that I bounce all of my emotions off of. He's helping me see that this isn't the end of the world for me and that it's just a bump in the road. I still worry about passing it to someone else though and that's keeping me from wanting to pursue any kind of relationship with anyone. That and the fear of how they would react when I tell them. I have had a couple of people turn against me and I've had people step up and help me out. It's still a struggle and I just hope that this fear will pass....

So. I'm a little down right now. I've been crying and freaking out because i just got told that i have been exposed to H. My doctor said that this may not cause breakouts but I think I've already had one. I really don't know what to do right now and I could use some support. I told my ex and he went to get tested and we're trying to help each other out but it's hard on both of us....Can anyone help me out??? I'm 19 and he's 21 and we're really confused and freaking out....we're trying not to blame each other but i don't know. We're both going through a lot... I haven't told my mom because I know what she would think. I just feel dirty and unwanted. I saw this website and going through all of the stories and videos, it seems like you guys are amazing and I hope that one day I can be like that. You guys are so strong and right now i feel like the world's closing in on me. Like I'm going to be alone and unloved. Is this normal or am i being dumb?