AshleyKristine93

Haha I've been better for a while now. But thank you all for your advice!!!

For real! The people who are there for you are the dear and true. It may take sine time for others to come around, but they'll get there. My sister is taking her sweet time. She's scared just to hand me a water bottle. Or my medication. Of course I know she's acting like this because she's scared and worried about me. However her way of coping is to be cold and frantic about this. The blow dryer thing works. However for me, and as ridiculous as it sounds, I like to lay on my bed with my fan blowing on my coochie xD Peeing isn't painful anymore, because when I go I'm basically doing yoga haha. DOWNWARD FACING DOG!! And now I can pat myself dry. Thw lidocaine made it nearly impossible to go. It would burn ontop of my urine burning me. Scary business! My manager of my building told my mom that she was going to call the police because she continually heard my screams throughout the day. But luckily I've got that sitch ubder control. My mom was in the room when I found out. My doctor was the nicest one I've ever come across. After dealing with the nasty emergency room.doctors and nurses, plus they didn't do anything for me, and didn't even want to look at me, and the urgent care doctor who rushed me out. My gynecologist was by far sooo sweet. He told me he was going to pray for me, and was telling me that was going tk be taken care of, even if he had to do it himself. I was soo glad that he was being as understanding as he could be. He even held my hands and said that I needed to be strong for my mom. And was cracking jokes. He was amazing!

Haha oh my gosh, that would be too much. XD

As for making light of my situation. The running joke in my house is "Don't do that, you're gonna make me flare!" And my friend was over for support of the situation and as I was putting some lidocaine on, it stung and to cover up I was screaming I said "Awwwww, FREAKOUT!!" And my friend came into the bathroom and said you should be singing "Awwwww, BREAK OUT!". We were laughing gor a good 15 minutes. And then I kept singing disco inferno referencing my.current state haha. XD

Thank you sooo much! Of course I know it will somewhat hurt to feel clean. But do you think baby soap would be okay? Like Johnson and Johnson?

I've been basically running cold water over everything to clean everything off during my outbreak. But I feel like I really smell even though no one can smell me. I want tk feel clean haha. But I'm not too sure what I can use without anything burning or stinging. Because sponging everything is not working for me anymore. Thankfully I can wash my hair no problem. But showering is a whole nother story. I know yhis is all disgusting sounding. But I only have one body wash and I had to get rid of it because of my outbreak. Any ideas as to what I can use? :)

Exactly!! Like my sister is handling all this the way someone who doesn't know anything about this would handle it. I'm still the same germaphobe I was before all this. If not cleaner. I was my hands even if I think its been near it, I wash them after going to the bbathroom and sitting in the tub.. We're not sure if I have it in my mouth yet, but if my hand even went in my mouth, I need a sink. And emotionally its hurting me, cause no matter what I'd be there for her. But she can't be here for ne emotionally, because she just wants to focus on herself. Its starting to upset me. As for not making the virus a big deal, I'm really not, the only time I really focus on it way too much is when I have to pee. BUT I FINALLY FIGURED OUT MY METHOD WITHOUT IT BURNING!!! today was a breakthrough being able to go without screamng or crying. My mom is coming around with some tough love while supporting me now through all this. She's reading up and doing her research and kicking my ass into gear to not stress out over this. Thankfully its working.

MissKellyRenee, its sooo true, that stigma about all this is ridiculous. They way People react is even worse. And the worst part of it, is that people who don't have it act like they know everything. Orngpeelmafia, Thank you so much for the advice. But I've literally tried everything. My best method is to just wait till I can't hold it anymore And just jump right into a tub of cold water afterwards. I started out with the peeing in the tub and it wa too painful. The same with the running water over my coochie to stop the burning. No matter what I do hurts. My flesh is so tortured and scorched, that I just have to push it out when its about to come out on its own.

Hey everyone, I'm Ashley, 20 years old. I live in the south bay, Los Angeles area. Just find out I have herpes. And could really use some friends male and female to help me really understand what I'm going through. And to give me some advice and perspectives on everything. I'm usually a really comedic person and love to laugh, so if you hit me with a joke. I'll love you forever. I'm really easy going with everyone, so I'm open to all discussion. :)

I just found out on Monday that I've contracted the herpes virus. I've never felt so scared and confused in my life. I've had guns pointed in my face, I've been raped, I've been abused, and bullied. But nothing scares me more or scars me more than this. Granted I've been a bit promiscuous. But everyone I've come in contact with has been clean. I've never had a cold sore. I didn't see any differences that could have indicated they had herpes. I've never tested positive until this week. And I got tested very often. I'm going through my first outbreak, and hopefully my last. The pain is so excruciating. My family doesn't know what to do, or how to help. I feel like I'm burdening them with my painful fits of crying, shaking, and convulsions. My anxiety has shot through the roof, and going to the bathroom is the most difficult part of my days. It feels like acid is forcefully being poured on my skin. No amount of Motrin will help the burning or the pain. The lidocaine only helps for about twenty minutes. Crying takes about eight hours out of my day just from the pain alone. I've done everything to make sure I'm as comfortable as possible to walk around, sit, lay down. The only time I feel kind of normal is when I'm sleeping. My mother is taking this the hardest. When I come to her or call her crying. I hear the helplessness in her voice. She doesn't know what to do or what to say. It frustrates her and I hear her crying at night cause there's nothing ahe can do to help the pain I'm in. My doctor even told us he's never seen an outbreak so enflamed. Time will only tell to the healing. I'm on Acyclovir maximum dosage five times a day for ten days. My mother can notice a difference within just the two days I've been taking it. I can walk around a bit better. Sitting is becoming easier, and laying down is becoming a breeze. Because before Monday dealing with all that for three days, with doctors not being able to help, or diagnose. All of that was a mission. I'm getting better at coping with the idea of at the age of twenty, I have herpes. My friends are supportive, and help me take my mind off of all the horrible thoughts that go through my head when I'm not with them. Even though this virus isn't a laughing master, I can't lose sight of who I am. I need to continue being the smart, beautiful, and comedic person that I am. Who wants to take care of everybody veggie myself. I hate that I'm so helpless, I was told I could only take stizt baths. Thankfully my best friend who is practically family is taking time out of her Buay schedule to help me bathe and wash my haor and just help out around.my home and with my family. I'm tired of crying and being scared to do certain things. Because my life can't stop because of this. I'm praying everyday for things to get better. I'm glad I found this site, so I can actually talk to people who fully understand what I'm going through. And for advice on how to deal with everything. Encouragement and endurance are all I have at this point. Especially after being called every horrible thing you can think.of. and being told that I've exposed them to this. When I had no sign or symptom while I was with them. Thankfully there has been some who were understanding and decent towards me. But I don't understand how people can be so hurtful, I understand that this its a horrifying situation to be in, ans its a terrifying thing to hear. But to act like they're above me, and to act like I actually want this is absurd. I don't wish this upon anyone.. Not even upon my worst enemy. This is by far the most painful thing I have ever experienced. But like my friends keep telling me, things will only get better from here.