[Can we kiss and have sex?]

So, I have had fever blisters for many years.  I always thought I could only transmit the virus when a sore was present. I hadn't had one in months and it never occurred to me to tell my partner. Oh, my ignorance. 

I gave him oral sex and about a week later developed a fever blister. A week after that he had a genital outbreak. 

If we have sex, could I start getting genital outbreaks (which I've never had?)

And if we kiss, could he begin getting oral outbreaks?  

[My Successful Disclosure]

So awesome!  I'm happy for you 

[find the silver lining, tell my story]

I would be frustrated, too.  Seems like he needs to be tested.  

[Can't stop crying....(New HSV2)]

Hugs. 🤗

[Fault and Financial Responsibility]

Thank you @Strength123.  I really appreciate your viewpoint. I did decide to go ahead and pay in spite of the fact that he's an a**. I think the anger is understandable, even though I'm pretty sure I would never treat him the same. 

[Herpes and oral sex risks]

You're saying you have genital and you're asking if you can pass it on via oral sex?  

Just trying to understand. 

[Hsv1 diagnosis last week: have questions, need help]

And shaving, too, right?  It exposes the skin to the STIs more and possibly cuts it? 

I knew all that hair had a purpose! I wish hairy would come back in style. Lol   I'm 55. I never knew most women shaved till about a year ago. To clarify, I'm a woman. 

[Disclosed and rejected after divorcing]

I just found out, so only have theoretical advice, but my plan should I date again is to disclose at the very beginning. It would save so much time and avoid emotion.  

[find the silver lining, tell my story]

@trying2 it sounds like you're feeling better.  So happy to hear that. Curious to know what your boyfriend's results were  

Love, hugs, and kisses back atcha!

 

[Fault and Financial Responsibility]

Nevermind.  I'm gonna pay it all. It's the least I can do.  

[Fault and Financial Responsibility]

Oh, another thing. I got tested too, and I have both types, so may have given him both.  We don't know yet because he tested negative for both. He did have scrapings or whatever you call it from the sores.  

So, if I gave him both I'm feeling more responsibility.  He's only 25.  Feels he'll never get another woman.  I do feel bad for him, believe me, but after two weeks of hell, I had to set some hard boundaries. No more groveling!

[Fault and Financial Responsibility]

I have had fever blister many years. I never knew you could spread them when you didn't have a sore.  I never told my partner that I get them because I hadn't had one in a long time and it just never occurred to me. 

I gave him oral sex and about a week later developed a fever blister. About a week later he had a genital outbreak. So it seems clear to both of us that I gave it to him. 

So, based on that, at first I was paying all the expenses.  Doctor, testing, meds, etc.  

However, during all this he has treated me like utter s***.  My question is, morally should I pay all expenses or does he bear some responsibility for not practicing safe oral sex and taking the risk of having sex?  

[Scared]

Hope you're ok.  How are things going? 

[Hsv1 diagnosis last week: have questions, need help]

Hmm. I don't think you're going to know where you got it from unless one fesses up to testing positive. Sounds like neither one may be willing to do that 

I've also done a lot of online dating.  Right now I have a boyfriend, but if I go back to it, I think I'm going to put herpes positive (I have both kinds) right on my profile.  Why go through awkward talks and face rejection when you can just put it right out there? 

[Struggling (Hard) With Recent HSV2 Diagnosis]

It's been a little bit, so I hope you are feeling better now. I'm so sorry you've been through all the awful physical and emotional pain. 

I hope you will let your boyfriend know you need to be held and nurtured.  Guys don't always know how they can help.  Gotta be specific!!  Lol 

[First Outbreak Seems Never-ending Advice Please!]

I have no advice, as I've never had a genital outbreak, but I wanted to send you hugs. 

 

[find the silver lining, tell my story]

I'm so so sorry you had to endure the horrible pain and the awful doctor that needs to be fired.  I really think you should file a complaint. 

I have both types. Just found out last night. I've only ever had fever blisters, thank God.  Unfortunately, in ignorance I infected my boyfriend and dealing with that has been hell. He hates me now.  

It sounds like your ex boyfriend is a wonderful man. How supportive and kind. 

[I'm tired of this pain, I NEED advise regarding medication.]

I'm sorry I don't know the answers.  Just wanted to send you hugs. I just found out I have both types, so don't have a lot of knowledge.