[Please help: I don't know what to do]

I think it would be best to tell him. Surely he will have to realize it's his own damn fault for not using protection. He's a big boy. 

Just explain it like you did to us 

[My first post. Appreciate this forum.]

Oldernotwiser, I could have used that same username.  Haha. I'm 56. I just found out about my herpes status a few months ago. I have both 1 and 2, but only fever blisters. In ignorance, I transmitted to two people. 

I'm no expert, but it seems likely you got it from him, since you never had an OB before. He's probably not wanting to face you with that knowledge. And he may not have known himself. 

I do like the dating apps.  I have a post telling about my experience disclosing. It does cut down your choices quite a bit, but their are still choices. Good luck and hugs to you 🤗

 

[Why?]

Cold sores definitely need to be disclosed as well. Protection should be used for oral sex and I feel there should be no kissing a person that is negative for the virus. 

I know everything says kissing is ok without a sore. I say BULLSHIT, because I gave my partner genital herpes through oral sex WITHOUT A SORE.

[Genital HSV-1 and Oral HSV-1]

Personally, I would tell him and also tell him what your gyno said.  I think he has a right to know.  

[Oral HSV2 sufferer needing advice]

I have both 1 and 2, but only fever blisters. I do feel, after transmitting to my partner's genitals and finally educating myself, that I can't kiss anyone unless they also have fever blisters. Also, cannot give unprotected blow jobs. I am sad that I can't kiss freely, even the guy I gave H to, but it is what it is. 

[GHSV1 to GSHV1 transmission]

I'm no expert, but I have had cold sores many years. I gave genital to my partner through oral sex. My doctor said I wouldn't get genital from him because my body would have built up antibodies. 

[HSV-1 IgG Index Value - Need help in interpretation.]

On 11/27/2018 at 8:12 PM, kvothe1878 said:

Thanks for the reply. Have you ever had any symptoms for HSV-2? It looks like mine is a very old infection.

I'm sorry I missed seeing your reply. I have never had any genital outbreaks, if that's what you're asking. I was very surprised to get the HSV2 diagnosis

[May God f***ing help me make this emotional pain go away!]

@unbreakable. As I mentioned in another post, I also gave H to my lover. It's had severe consequences in his life. He's only 26, so will affect him drastically in the future as well. 

I understand how you feel. It's a horrible feeling to know you've hurt someone so badly!  But I hope you can forgive yourself and I hope in time he can forgive you as well. How long ago did he contract it? 

The thing that helps me feel better is that my lover, before contracting H, as well as after, treats me like crap. So I have that consolation. LOL. 

Hugs

[Suppressive therapy and liver protection]

Sorry to be off topic, but have you tried setting an alarm on your phone to take your meds?  I take some that are essential and if I didn't have my alarms I'd never remember. 

[Someone died relating to this sad story of mine]

@unbreakable. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. And also for what happened to him. So tragic. I doubt it was the cause of his mother's death. I hope you won't feel bad about that anymore. 

I also gave herpes to my lover through my ignorance. It has had severe consequences in his life. Thankfully, he seems to be coping  well and hasn't gone into a depression, as far as I know.  It's hard for me to carry that burden of knowing I hurt someone so bad and I feel I will owe him forever,  though he truly is a fuckboy I would like to be free of. 

[How do I delete my account?]

I had mine changed. Adrial was super sweet about it 

[HSV-1 IgG Index Value - Need help in interpretation.]

17 hours ago, kvothe1878 said:

Thanks for the reply. Have you ever had any symptoms for HSV-2? It looks like mine is a very old infection.

No, I haven't. No genital outbreak ever 

[How do I move on from my giver?]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I wish there was something I could do to help! 

I went through some of this nearly four years ago. It wasn't related to herpes. I only recently was diagnosed. 

There was a guy I had a short relationship with. He fell in love with me. Several months later I fell in love with him. But just three days after I realized I loved him he broke up with me. 

I took it really hard. I grieved for months. I cried and cried. Then I had a nervous breakdown. I became manic (bipolar). It was the first mental problem I had ever had in my life at age 52. I don't know that the grief caused it, but I suspect it did. 

I had two manic episodes that were 3 months each. I was committed 5 times. 

Love is a powerful thing and just because other people may get over heart break quickly, not all of us do. The heart break was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. So I sympathize with you so much. 

I'm still not over him completely. And just a couple weeks ago I found out he is dead. I grieved again, but not too terribly. I wonder if I'll always feel a stab in my heart when I think if him. 

[How hard it is to find a couple?]

Lol. Funny!! 

[HSV-1 IgG Index Value - Need help in interpretation.]

Mine was 5.94 for hsv1 and 6 for hsv2. I have had fever blisters for 38 years. I didn't know I had the other type so can't say how long I've had it. 

[How hard it is to find a couple?]

A couple?  Do you mean for a threesome? 

[HSV2 sex without condom / disclosure]

Forgive me for disagreeing, but I believe you should tell him.

I gave herpes to my lover and it had a tremendous negative impact on his life.  He had a serious live in relationship with a woman he loved (yeah, I know, if he loved her why did he cheat?) and he had to tell her he cheated and has herpes. She left him.  He's very young and I'm much, much older. He'll have to live with herpes the rest of his life and it was my fault.  

Yes forgive yourself, but now do the right thing. Also, if he did contract it, and I understand the risk isn't terribly high, he could spread it to other women. 

[Anyone else diagnosed late in life?]

14 hours ago, sarahsfocus said:

i'm sorry you have went through this too Sweetlove884. I hope things get for the both of you.Sarah

Thank you, Sarah!  Hugs

[Rejected again]

I'm so sorry!!

[Are you still with your giver?]

On 11/6/2018 at 11:27 PM, TequilaGirl said:

@sweetlove884 oh! And did you knew before you were with him and disclose or it was a surprise while you were with your partner? Sorry if it's too personal, i totally get if you wanna be reserved.

I got fever blisters occasionally, but I didn't realize it was a big deal. I knew you weren't supposed to give oral with a sore. But I gave him oral without a sore. About a week later I developed a sore. I casually mentioned it to him and he freaked out. "Why didn't you tell me you had herpes?!". About a week after that, he had a genital outbreak. 

I've done everything I can to make it up to him. Paid all expenses. But it had disastrous consequences for his life and he hates me. Can't say I blame him. 

[How did you find out you had HSV?]

I've had fever blisters since I was 18. Ignorantly gave my boyfriend genital herpes by oral sex when no sore was present, but developed one a week later. 

Got tested. Positive for 1 and 2. But I've never had a genital outbreak. 

[Anyone else diagnosed late in life?]

I just got diagnosed at 55

[I didn’t know I had the start of a cold sore]

I gave it to my boyfriend when I had no cold sore, but developed one about a week later. I believe his genitals broke out about two weeks after the oral sex. 

[Are you still with your giver?]

In my case, I was the giver and he hates me for it, and we're not together anymore. 

[I Disclosed for the First Time]

Oh, how wonderful!