lovelucky

Thank you for your responses. Pre H I had many misconceptions, so I wouldn't of made an informed decision. I probably would of passed up someone great b/c of ignorance. That being said, the person who gave it to me is not someone great, and the lie was what killed me. Why was I dating someone not so great? Probably loneliness. And the kicker, that he said "you should just stick with me b/c no one is going to want you now." I should of thrown him out of my house for saying that, but instead I just cried b/c that's what I believed too. Anyways, maybe you are right and I would of acted differently if I met someone amazing...I don't think I would of, but then again a real connection with someone is hard to come by. The stigma and shame bug is hard to overcome and while I'm not shame free I'm waaaay better than I was almost two years ago. It only has impacted my emotional state, and that's something I need to work on. Thank you for responding. Thank you for posting for all the lurking people too. I'm sure there are a ton of them out there that you are impacting positively.

I haven't dated anyone since my diagnosis, so if it gets to that point he will be the first. I'll be crushed if he seems revolted. I look online sometimes and people in forums are generally like "NO WAY!!!!" when asked would you date someone with a STI. This group is definitely more enlightened....but then again we have it! Thank you for your warm welcome and kind words WCSDancer2010! :)

Hi first off I'd like to say thank you to those people on here that have unknowingly helped me for almost 2 years. I've come a long way in terms of accepting my diagnosis, but honestly it's still a struggle. Here's the simple story....I contracted this virus after 5 years of being celibate! I know, Lucky me! The man I was dating initially lied and told me he hadn't known, only to find out later he had known. He also said something abusive to me that really hit me hard. He said "You should stick with me forever because no one is going to want you now." Yep, that was about the worst thing anyone has ever said to me, and it played on my biggest fears. Luckily the virus has not reared it's ugly head since my first OB, which was beyond horrible. I don't take any meds, just trying to eat healthy and a good immune system is working so far. Recently I met a man who I really like, and the thought of telling fills me with anxiety, but if it comes to it I WILL tell him. I still have some residual anger towards the person who gave me this, and I will never do that to anyone. If I get rejected it will burn, but at least my character will remain intact. We are going on a date tonight but I am not ready to go there. I'm going to get to know him better and hold off. If I'm being honest before I got this I would have turned someone down b/c of herpes. I hate to say it but it would of been a deal breaker. I figured since I never had casual sex I would never get hit with anything. I naively believed that if someone had something they would tell. I'm in my late 30's so I should know better. Hopefully someday I will get to the point where a lot of you are, full acceptance. I'm not there yet. Some shame and anger lingers, the "why me?" questions. Some days I feel like I'm back to day one, other days I think what is the big deal? As many people have said the social stigma of Herpes is far worse than the condition. Well, anyways, thanks again.