bookworm

thanks @WCSDancer2010 @hamathiasI'm sooooo happy to read that!!!!!! :D Haven't had the chance to talk yet (he lives far away from me) but this gives me sooo muchhh hope... :D @scared4this I didn't have an OB at the time. I've had 2 OB since the 1st time... First bloodtest came negative for hsv2 (nothing for hsv1) and when the second OB happened I got a culture done and it came back + for HSV1 (genital) ... two years in between... imagine that :/

@hamathias, @WCSDancer2010, @whitedaisies I told him I needed to talk to him. So, the conversation will happen soon. I will let you know.

@seeker i get it, no one told me either and I was furious to say the least. believe me, i do get it. that's why i can't stop thinking about that day and the possibilities. I will find a way to tell him.

thanks for taking the time to read and reply... I'll post later how it goes

thanks for the though love @WSCDancer2010. I know everything you tell me is right and true. I just needed to get what I did out from my system and tell people who would actually understand. I know I have to tell him, but I still decided to not pursue anything anymore. I haven't accepted this H thing yet. I think I have to first be more confident about it to tell someone and pursue a relationship. I hope this guy doesn't hate me after I tell him. I've been told that if a guy catches it from me I can always tell him I got it from him, but that's just not me... I'm not that kind of person. @hamatias, thanks for writing ... i guess a lot of us make wrong choices because we miss being able to do things without the talk.... we miss being H free... we miss being able to be worry free... but that's not our reality anymore. My doctor also told me I didn't have to tell anyone, that the guy who gave this to me didn't tell me... I did that, and it's killing me. Once you don't tell, trust is gone. We do have to be brave and adults. That would be easier if people wouldn't be so disgusted and misinformed about what H is. @whitedaisies thanks for those words, for the advice. You're definitely right, i am letting herpes prevent me from getting what I want and I am letting it cloud my judgment... i have to keep working on that... and the courage to have a talk with this guy.

I'm in a situation and I don't know what to do, what to say, how to feel.... It's been 5 months since my diagnosis and the thought of sharing my story with a special someone terrifies me. Reading posts here and having hbuddies has helped because I can write freely exactly what I feel not afraid of being judged. My fear from the day I found out I had H has been what would happen when I found someone. And right now, I'm scared. I've had this friend who has had interest in me for a while, we kept being friends and talking normally... but two weeks ago we went out and we ended up at his apartment. I've been alone for a while now and with all this H thoughts in my head that prevent me from socializing. I knew what I had. I knew what was happening. And I let it happen. I didn't and still don't have any OB and he used protection. I've been torturing myself for that night ever since. I really like the guy, and he wants us to keep seeing each other.... But, now what? How can I tell him now that something already happened? Should I have said something before and then let it be his choice to keep on? I'm so confused on how this works. It's easy to think that a lot of people know they have it and don't tell; it's easy to think that the person who gave it to me didn't care and tell me... but I don't want to be that person. It affects me to think I can give it to someone else. But, on the other hand, I don't want everyone knowing what I have or judging because of their bad education on the subject. He wants us to have trust in each other. He wants us to get to know each other to see if it develops into a serious relationship. I told him I didn't believe being intimate again was a good idea and we should be just friends when what I really wanted to say was that I would love to take a leap of faith with him. He asked why, of course I didn't say. He tells me to not reject something it hasn't even started, to give it a try, at my own pace. He is a really good guy in a lot of ways, someone I would really want to spend time with. But I don't know if could deal right know with any type of rejection. My conscience yells at me to tell him, but I don't know if it's the right move after having already had sex, I'm scared he would freak out even if I was careful. Advice. PLEASE.

I would really like H buddies. I've found out I had genital HSV1 on march. I'm still getting used to the idea. you can private message me ... the forum helps a lot but it's always nice to have someone to talk/write to.

Love reading your story! It gives me hope. Congratulations!!

Thanks I appreciate your answer! I really enjoy reading your posts and Adrial's around the page every time I freak out! It has been a process for me accepting that I will be ok, but I'm calmer every passing day. :)

Wow, thanks a lot. I originally thought the virus was everywhere once you got an outbreak. I'm relieved. I have a daughter and I would like to have another baby in the future but I don't want them to get anything from me.

Hello, I just want to share my story and learn how to live with this. Thanks for reading and caring in advance. On February 2012 I had an outbreak, I got scared and went to the doctor. She told me it was some kind of fungus and sent me an hsv2 lab which came back negative. Why do I tell this? Well because exactly two years later I had the same outbreak, the same symptoms, but this time I went to a different doctor, he took a sample from the outbreak and had a culture done. It came back positive for HSV1. Ever since I found out I have so many questions, so many thoughts and I don't know how to feel better. That finding out moment was horrible. The possibility of having had the virus for two years and not knowing it was terrifying. Can it be possible? Could I had the hsv1 all that time but because of the other doctor testing for hsv2 led to a negative result??? I didn't have any outbreak for two years! After that my life has been a roller coaster. Some days I feel ok, other days I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life and become really depressed. How can I start a relationship knowing this? It's not the kind of thing you tell everyone. My doctor told me I can have a normal life and I DO understand that now, but how would I start something with someone and then after getting close drop this bomb. I really regret being so stupid in the past. I was with this guy, I always ask for protection but he took the condom out without telling me... a few days later... my first outbreak. Sorry if I'm writing in an illogical manner but I'm just letting it all out. Only two people know what's happening to me and they try to understand but they most certainly don't know what to say. I also have a loooot of questions. I couldn't ask my doctor the day he told me because I was hysterical and I NEED answers. If you can answer them for me I would be so grateful. Sorry if they are dumb, but I am really clueless on what to expect. If I have an outbreak, (I have genital HSV1) and I kiss someone, would it get transmitted? If I have the genital one, can I get outbreaks on the mouth? If I have a child, could I breastfeed? Are all outbreaks on the same place and do they show the same symptoms? I think I had another small outbreak but it was on a different place and not as painful, but the blisters were the same. I hope joining this community helps me become happy. I feel so confused still. Thanks for helping.