On July 4, 1973 I contracted herpes. You do the math. Yes, I know the exact date. I knew my partner, and yes, it was devastating. It has shaped everything in my life since that happened. I call it "my must SEE event." For those of you who have never studied emotional psychology, SEE stands for a "Significant-Emotional-Event." It happens when some emotional event fundamentally changes your personality and alters your behavior. Contracting herpes does that to you because you have a STD that can have devastating effects on anyone who contracts it.
The good news is that, to my knowledge, I have never passed it on to anyone. I am sure of this because, if I had passed it to someone, I would have been contacted in the small community I was in at the time. The bad news is that I was possibly the very first known case in the medical community that served me. My actual date of diagnosis was not until three months later, when they finally had classified the disease. Yes, they did not even have it classified when I contracted Herpes Type II. I have been lucky. I have had very few outbreaks. Since I was diagnosed I have had less than 20 over the years. I have been outbreak free for almost 11 years now.
So now that this truth is out, I feel relieved. There is also a second part to this story, and this one is the most important part.
I contracted herpes at the height of the "sexual revolution." And when I say height, I mean the epitome! If you could not get laid in 1973 it was because you didn't want to. I had just joined the service and with the end of the Vietnam war, the free love society was raging. Women were liberated because of birth control and wherever you went, everyone was having SEX, SEX, and more SEX! (Remember Studio 54 and Saturday Night Fever) Well, after my SEE I thought the world was over. Little did I know that it just didn't matter. People just wanted to have SEX. Anytime, anyplace, everywhere.
After learning of my condition, I was contentious about informing my partners. Better to get rejected fast and move on to someone who wanted to have sex AND knew of the consequences. Back then, it was considered a speed bump on the road to having sex. Not deadly, just an inconvenience. I will say that even though I had contracted the disease, I showed no external signs anytime. One reason for this is that my doctors surmised that my rare blood type was an unbelievable immune system booster. Whereas other people who contracted the disease, might have frequent, painful outbreaks. I never had a major outbreak for the first five years.
In 1979 I was reassigned to Germany and having a ball. Then in 1980, I met Sue. (Not her real name.) She moved onto the same floor I lived on and we became friends and partied together. Then, one night, I decided it was time to get more intimate. So I told her about my condition. She rejected me outright. It hurt! She said, "I don't want to become a sexual outcast." So, for the next two years I watched in pain as she had sex with everyone except me with wanton abandon. It's funny in retrospect. If I had not told her, we would have been intimate. And I might not be here to finish this story.
When I returned to the states two years later, I met an outstanding woman, my former, who I became attracted to. She got pregnant with our first child in 1984. We were married and settled into blissful married life. She never contracted the disease and gave vaginal delivery to both of our daughters.
About a year later in 1985, I was informed that a former friend had been admitted into the hospital. I went to see this friend ... Sue was close to death. She passed away two months later. She died from pneumocystis carinii. As anyone in this community now knows, pneumocystis carinii is a result of AIDS that has advanced from HIV.
So, it was extremely likely, that when I met Sue, she had already contracted HIV. I think about what might have happened had I not told her about my condition that fateful night. I can only believe that it was because I was truthful about my condition that I am finishing this story today. I know, based on my experience with "Sue" that whatever happens, I'm going to be truthful about my status, whatever the consequences.
Lion Eagle