pisces

Hi everybody:-) I just came back home after staying in North Carolina to join the H-opp seminar. I came all the way from Scandinavia so you can imagine I had butterflies in my stomach hanging over the Atlantic ocean not knowing what I had said yes to. I was scared, and my life has been so much pain the last 18 months because of Herpes....but actually, it has been a lot of pain long before that. Relationships with men has been really difficult for me as long as I can remember. Honestly, hanging in mid air, I thought I was crazy to do this, but another part of me trusted that I was doing the right thing. And wow - I am so happy I listened to that voice...and I knew it the minute I walked through the door to the seminar that I was in the right place. I experienced so much love and acceptance. And because of the safe container that was created in the seminar we - the participants - was able to be raw and vulnerable on the heeling journey that this weekend is. Because it is life changing if you let it be. I am still in that process - and coming home was challenging in some ways. But I know what I want now- for the first time I really know what kind of connections I look for in my relationships. All of them. And I have learned that it means staying connected to myself. Good and bad - because - like I learned - it is an illusion that we can separate our feelings. And I try to stay connected every day now - and so many choices become so much easier when that is the focus - and it no longer is about getting validation that I am good enough. It is a small shift - but it makes a huge difference. It is freedom. And God knows i have been a slave of my own thinking. So go to the next seminar. There is no need to suffer alone in the silence. You are not alone. Just the people you meet there will be worth it. My good - what beautiful people I have met. They all touched me so deeply. In a very real, raw and down to earth way. I am full of gratitude. And honestly - when I first got this I never thought I would ever feel grateful again. And I really believe that it is about heeling the shame - that was already there long before the herpes. And herpes is an opportunity to dig it out and bring it in to the light - and under these rays of light it slowly melts and becomes wisdom, gratitude, compassion and love. In a way it is simple - not easy - but simple when you have the right guidance... I am still on a healing journey...carefully stepping out of my aloneness with this. But when I get scared I think of all the amazing people I met at the seminar and I put them all in my living room...and I feel their energy...and baby steps I walk out of this room of shame and in to a place of self acceptance... Thank you - all of you, the leaders of the seminar, the staff, the participants...I am so grateful...and without herpes I would never have met you...that is the biggest paradox...

wow...you are so beautiful...and...not alone...thank you for sharing yourself so honestly....for beeing you...and for beeing on this planet.... you inspire me to walk and meditate in the morning - yes, seven is early for freelancers ...but i will also start...to get more intentional with my life. ...lots of love and a big hug...

Wow...thank you for sharing....you are amazing...and an inspiration...for me...