Robyn

Yes...I just joined and I have it too. Oh, the pop up as well! ;)

It may be that your husband is an asymptomatic carrier, and you only recently were exposed if he was shedding the virus. I'll be interested to here what his test reveals. I'm 37...kinda the 'in between' age here!

Since your symptoms showed up 3-4 days after your casual encounter, I would look to that as being the likely source. I was diagnosed with genital HSV1 on the 21st. I have been in a monogamous sexual relationship for a year and a half. After spending a week at the beach with NO sun protection, my partner (with VERY SUNBURNED LIPS) went down on me. Three days later I started feeling the initial symptoms (like many, thought it was a yeast infection or an ingrown hair from shaving). As soon as I felt the swollen lymph node on my groin, though, I knew something was seriously up. I also had a fever and felt pretty terrible. We had an idea of what had happened even before the swab test came back HSV1. I had asked him if he ever had a cold sore, and he said yes, but not for a very very long time (like most people...you are exposed to it usually as a child, and by the time you're an adult, it is relatively dormant if you are a healthy person with a normal immune system). But one of the triggers for reactivating the virus...is sunburn. And he was terribly sunburned. And it turns out that I, obviously, have never had HSV1, making me somewhat of an outlier. So because my partner was too 'cool' to wear sunblock, I now have herpes. Seems pretty unfair, right? I'm 37, and I can count the number of sexual partners I've had on one hand still. So, just take the word 'slut' out of your vocabulary. Many people are carriers and either haven't had an outbreak in a long time, or never ever had one. It sounds hollow, but if you have an OB, at least you know and you can protect yourself and others. HSV1 prefers to 'live' in the nerves behind our ears. HSV2 prefers to 'live' in the base of our spine. Our chances or recurring OB are much less with genital HSV1 than genital HSV2. And remember, you can 'reinfect' someone who already has HSV1. I know that in any future disclosing (because our relationship was already on the rocks before this, and now it is even looking bleaker...he's having a very hard time with the guilt, but he also hasn't educated himself about it, and there's only so much I can do) I am going to make the point that most people have HSV1 already, and if they don't know if they do or not, I will suggest they get tested to find out. I feel similar to you in the 'wait and see' game. But in the meantime I'm taking suppressive therapy and really watching my diet and trying to get lots of sleep (I'm in nursing school so that last one is always a challenge!). I was also in the great position of having my best friend to talk to...she got HSV2 when dating her then-boyfriend (now husband and father of her two children). He had disclosed and she knew, and while she was upset after her first OB, she said it really has been inconsequential since then (8 years ago). Again, she lives a healthy lifestyle, eats well, and exercises regularly. Though, she was already in committed relationship, so it doesn't include the uncertainty that many of us will face in new relationships...but she was also the 'new' person, and accepted his status and took the risk of HSV while they were still dating. It gives me hope at least!