Reachout2014

Sorry for the misspelling of the title. Heroes is obviously herpes.

Hey everyone, So it seems the only way I'm going to calm down about this heroes business is to get some medical peace of mind. I can't continuously be afraid of my body. It'll be the first step in feeling like I have my life back together if I can simply get control of my health. So here's the question. Who do you go see for your herpes needs, blood tests, swabs. Do you see an obgyn, general practician, infectious disease specialist or dermatologist? I'd like a blood test to really type things out. I have been diagnosed with hsv2 by swab genitally but notice some potential nonsense in my oral area and on my hand. As far as I know hsv2 isn't supposed to spread like that...so I want to be sure that I'm not causing further damage or If taking too many precautions, I can relax. I know the mind is a powerful thing and sometimes we can make mole hills out of ant hills. I'd just rather be safe than sorry.

You are so incredibly strong! And you do serve as the message board mom and frankly if it wasn't for you and your patience (care support) to answer me. I feel like I wouldn't have any ofmy shit together. So I really hope you feel better soon. People can be sucky but this sucky pain will pass and you are being set aside for someone wonderful! Chin up! Hugs :-)

Hi everyone! I wanted to come and share a little good news because i feel like I've been nothing but gloom and doom lately. As you know I've been queen paranoia and not very comfortable in my own skin with this virus. I had only told one of my close friends and my giver about having H. Well I have a trip to Disneyland coming up with another very close friend. I guess my silence from the passed few weeks alerted her that something was wrong and I had really been dodging talking about anything because I didn't want her to think any less of me, be afraid or whatever else. Anyway I finally got up the nerve and told her about the whole situation. Her response was, "thank god! I thought you were diagnosed with something terminal or you got pregnant!" I was able to laugh about this for the first time. She kept reassuring me it was not a huge deal and saying that it wasn't a big deal and told me that she had another friend go through the same thing a year ago. What a relief!!!! It just felt good being honest, I hate secrets and part of me feels more free knowing another friend knows. I went to bed happy last night. Now this morning I woke with a pimple on my nose or at least that's what I hope it was. I, not thinking about it popped it. White puss ensued. I cleaned it and then it hit me OH CRAP! Was that herpes??? Gah I know I for sure have GHSV2 don't know if it'd anywhere else. I've had super chapped lips but no sores but I think that's because of stress and me licking my lips a ton. Only the passed week chapped. My first GHSV outbreak was a little over three weeks ago. Anyway the pimple is popped and you can't really tell it was even there. Does a large pimple, white fluid, then gone sound like a herpes thing? Or a stop being paranoid thing?

I am also extremely sorry. I don't know why but my phone posted this four different times. I can't find how to take it down :-( sorry guys

Alright guys, Sincerely, I'm at a loss for what next steps I should be taking. I fully accept that I was diagnosed GHSV2 positive from a culture test. Of course I've been dealing with a slew of emotion. But what's eating me are the "what's next?" steps. Alright let's start at the beginning, at least the beginning of my herpes plight. I have had only two sexual partners in my life, the most recent one was my giver. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. My first relationship was a four year run of flat out abuse. I was cheated on twice and then post break up he enjoyed coming around to feed me pretty lies to get sex. Now you are thinking (wow you got herpes from this guy for sure) doubtful. That relationship ended October 2013. I was free! For months I spent time alone and was perfectly ok with that. In March 2014 I went for my annual gyn appointment and requested to be tested for all stds including herpes. Blood was drawn, urine tested, etc. They said everything was clear. I was very relieved at the time. Anyway around June and July I starred to get the lonely bug. But refused to give in to my friends coaxing. Anyway in the end they ended up introducing me to my giver. I guess I got weak and he instilled the "you might miss something really great if you don't open yourself up to others". I thought about that and dated him for a month. We did the deed. Genitally and orally. And boom HERPES. The best part is and the real kicker was the fact that I asked about his sexual health and he got super defensive. To add more to the irony we used a condom for genital contact. More irony he didn't know he had it and doesn't have symptoms. So when I told him he was obviously shocked but apparently not surprised. Anyhow he has fled the scene which is sad because I slept with him with the hope that we would be something. But apparently our h status made him feel "forced" to be with me which is never good. And I've called asking for support but he simply replies "I'm honestly not sure if it'll be ok. But it's a waste of time for you to feel sad about it". Thanks...He's gone I'm not that upset about it honestly more just the herpes itself. But I do have this inner feeling of "all men tear me down and leave me more and more undesirable for the next". Ugh Anyway I'm 3 weeks into this H positive life. I'm insanely paranoid as mentioned in a previous post about spreading the little bugger around my body and I can't really tell if my panic is leading to false alarm symptoms. So my question is how long do I wait before getting a blood test that will give me positive results? Since I have oral and genital sex do I have it on my mouth? My lips have been very chapped but that could be due to panic, constant looking at it etc. I haven't really noticed anything that looks like a blister but I'm still concerned. I'm visiting an eye doctor tomorrow as well to check my eyes as I am concerned about spread there as well. What am I supposed to do? Wait until something else goes wrong to get tested? I don't want to lose my sight or have super herpes everywhere. And then in the meantime until I get a positive test ( just to see if I have hsv1 as well or some clue as to if I have problems in my mouth as well) am I supposed to remain alone until I have the facts. Like wait 6-8 months for tests before aiming for any type of relationship because i don't know what to disclose. Then there is the support thing. I have one friend who knows about my status. My giver is history. I'm 23 and definitely not a child but for some reason I feel like I want to talk to an older person about it. Can't tell my parents. My mom stopped communicating with me for half a year when she found out I had sex with my first boyfriend. So no hope there. I don't know I kind of just want to hear that this is all going to be ok from someone. Adrial, I just want to hug you for creating HOPP and for reaching out to so many. Because right now I feel like this is all o have. I'm just feeling so isolated, alone in this and so darn afraid of doing more damage to myself with this virus. It's like I don't even feel like I'm living properly. I want to feel free to shave, wash my face, brush my teeth and do my make up without the fear of spreading everything. I've read the research and stats but, it's still so daunting. Hurry up antibodies and protect me!!! Just words of comfort please..I think that's what I need. Thanks guys and love you. If you got through reading this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Hey Everyone, I'm very new to all of this! I was diagnosed HSV2 positive about two weeks ago. I had my first outbreak which was the standard typical awfulness but, I got through it. I'm facing some lingering signs of slight itch and a pressure where one of the sores was. I hope that's normal. Anyway of course I'm dealing with a bundle of emotions and self hate (I'm sure I'll post more on that later) but what's really eating at me is a fear of my own body. I have hsv2 genitally but I have an intense fear of spreading it. I've been washing my hands like crazy, avoiding touching my vagina at all costs but it's driving me insane! I'd hate for it to spread to my hands,face or eyes (my vision is already not great)! I hear it takes months to build up antibodies to prevent this personal spread. How long do I need to be afraid of touching my own body? If I'm so scared I wouldn't blame others for being afraid of me. When can I groom my lady parts? I hardly recognize myself down there and it's not helping my feelings of disgust. I honestly just want to feel like myself again. I feel more like a walking petti-dish. Any advice would be appreciated. I need to kill this paranoia before it consumes me.