I am currently 21 weeks pregnant. At 17 weeks I was diagnosed with a first outbreak of herpes that I contracted from my husband. It was absolutely miserable. At first I thought it must have been something that I picked up a long time ago, because my husband and I have been together for 6 years. Then I found out that it was a new outbreak. I got over the initial shock and luckily my first outbreak, and am now on maintenance anti vitals. I have never gone through anything so painful and uncomfortable (Insert "well good luck going through labor" jokes here). The problem is now that because my husband is an asymptomatic carrier, he doesn't understand how uncomfortable it is.
I am associating the pleasure of sex with the pain of my outbreak and am terrified that if I have too rough of sex or even too messy that I will spread the virus and infection to other areas of my genitals or body! I don't know how to overcome this, or get over the fact that I got this from him. I had his blood tests done and he has an old infection of herpes simplex 1, which I can only assume is the same kind of virus I have. That being said, how can I ever have oral sex again? The last thing I want is to get this anywhere else on my body. I am so mad at my husband, because he has never even bothered to get an std test (I think it is a generational thing). How am I supposed to get over this and enjoy my sex life again? I'm so confused, mad, and scared. I feel like I should put my own vagina on quarantine.
Has anyone tried sex therapy, did it help? I am trying to be as open and talk about the disease with as many people close to me as I can so that I don't feel so isolated. I don't think it is fair that even my husband who I got this from doesn't understand what it feels like. Anyways, just trying not to feel so alone.