Herpetologist

@saws He didn't leave because of the Herpes. He left because he doesn't care about you, or probably anyone else but himself. I know that it doesn't feel like it now, but be thankful that you weren't with him longer, wasting life with a person like that. Besides, you're in good company - about 80% of the global population is with you! Best wishes

@ivoryrain it's great that someone as young as you is strong enought to go through that and disclose...it took me forever! Good job!

Thank you PB! I'm glad to hear that you are happy with your partner! I think that it's empowering to read others' success stories!

As a man, it could just be that he's inexperienced/nervous. After getting H in my teenage years, I had a problem with "finishing". There was no ED involved, but I couldn't climax.....of course, it took me years (and a few partners) to figure out that it was because I was subconsciously terrified of transmitting. Getting over that and actually being emotionally intimate with partners changed all that. Have him "wrap it up" and see if it helps. Maybe he's nervous and doesn't even know it. Or maybe it'll just get better the closer you get.

I hope that things work out for you ShaeShae! Don't psych yourself out too much!

Thank you for the wonderful responses everyone! (Well, except for the spammer,lol) I'm happy to be here! I've found myself much more willing to "come out" now with people that I know recently....all of my friends now know, and of course, about 25% of them are like "dude, me too!" with somewhat relieved looks on their faces. Same with the therapist I've been seeing since the marriage went south, lol. It was a watershed moment. It really seems like "owning" the disease gives you the power back over it. I'm not talking about walking around shouting "Herpes and Proud!" Lol, but simply acknowledging it if it comes up. Now, I need to get over the "hump" and man up to the task of potentially disclosing to partners (if one ever shows up...the sting of the divorce/dissolution is still strong, and it'll be a while before I feel romantically functional). I can't imagine caring about someone and not disclosing - but I am petrified of the vulnerability that brings. Hopefully, once I "lose my disclosure virginity" it'll get less awkward and I get better at it!

Introduction Hello all, I just joined the forums, so I thought that I'd introduce myself and my story, fwiw. About me: I'm a 33 year old dad just going through a dissolution. I've had HSV1 since I was 16 ( I caught it the very time that I lost my virginity, kid you not....somewhere, my middle school sex ed teacher is still laughing). After years of writhing in a self-created misery, I came to grips with my lifelong friend H, I began to enter the dating world, first in the H+ community..... And after dating for a few years, met my (soon to be ex) wife. She had HSV2, and as soon as it became apparent that it was "for real" we stopped taking precautions, I got H2, we got engaged, and had a son (in that order, lol). Flash forward 4 years - our marriage fell apart (long story, but at the end of the day, my in-laws tell me that I'm still a family member and my son lives with me 80% of the time) and I'm wanting to get back into the dating world when the time is right....but I don't want to limit myself to the H+ population or to H+ dating....but I'm terrified of "The Talk" and disclosure to potential partners....So I found my way here, and I'm happy to have found this place. So, anyways, I look forward to both finding and providing some support here.