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  1. @breathe123, thank you so much for your advice and support. I realized I kept stopping myself out of fear but also because my gut knew it just wasn't the right moment. I wanted to update you on a new and beautiful disclosure that happened with him last night completely unplanned. Also my preface is that I have hsv type 1 genitally. I went over to watch a movie and of course we ended up making out instead. He tried again to go down and I was like no stay up here... and he asked why and I just said cuz. No reason I just don't want you to. So he let it go. I proceeded to taking off his
  2. @breathe123 I'm so glad to hear how that worked out in your favor so well!! I think it's so important to wait and really follow your gut on when is truly the right moment. I'm also so happy for you that it worked out with your ex and he accepted you I know that feeling and it's the most amazing feeling ever! I just started seeing a new guy about 2 weeks ago and we have hung out 4 times. He is super genuine but it's starting to get to that point where I know sex is going to be on the table within another couple weeks or so. I have slept next to him cuddled and made out but we have not hooked up
  3. Hi, I also have genital HSV1 and like you, got in in college my sophomore year when I was 19. I have to say that it took me just over a year to stop crying about it whenever I'd think about it or talk about it. I even had trouble seeing black escalades driving by because that was the car he drove (who gave it to me). Over time, it did get easier I actually disclosed to only one guy in college who I was hooking up with for a long time casually (not sex) and we were also friends. We never had a relationship, and it was actually long after we stopped hooking up that I told him about me. It felt l
  4. just read through this discussion thread. I am in the same boat right now- just met a pretty special guy (which I don't say often) and we have gone out 3 times / talking for a few weeks. He is very genuine and he took the words out of my mouth and says he'll go as slow as I want and need (probably because I was holding back) I had the talk with him the other night it came up that I wait to have sex until I am in a commitment and he was very ok with that. I think that is my "meta" talk Adrial is talking about. I am feeling good, but very uneasy because I know it's going to have to come up.. "he
  5. I know the feeling you are going through exactly because I have felt it too several times, I try to accept that these feelings are inevitable because H is the cards we got dealt and if we want to be honest and disclose there is no way around it. I also just met a guy last week who asked if I have an std and I was honest. He called me the other day to let me know what he's been thinking and he needs a few days to process and decide what he's comfortable with. I'm currently in the waiting period... how hard cuz he could go either way. This is especially hard because the only reason at this
  6. Thank you I will look out for it! I am aware of that which is why it really sucks to have to disclose but I have found that I only feel right doing it. I'm hoping he realizes that because it's so unlikely that he'd get it!! Also I am 25 and he's 29 so we're to 30s
  7. Hi all! My name is Alexa and I have had an account on here since my initial outbreak of herpes type 1 on gentials. It has now been 5.5 years since that initial and ONLY EVER outbreak. I have been doing really well as it does not affect my daily life in any way. I have had a few boyfriends since then where disclosing has never been an issue. I usually wait a month or so until being physical and intimate and disclosing when I feel the guy has gotten to know me well. I met a new guy last week and we had instant chemistry and an instant emotional connection and comfort with one another.
  8. Ok thank you. And yes I'm well aware it's a separate test which is what I said to him.. That it's a separate test did you have that too and he said yes.
  9. I kinda would rather use a legitimate condom to be most safe. He has been tested for herpes and all stds and said he doesn't have anything. Also was tested as recent as 3 months ago. He said he has never had a cold sore on his mouth before either and I believe him. I want to be safe as I do have type 1 and wouldn't want to chance anything and I know he wouldn't either.
  10. Thank you so much for your support and relating. I wanted to update that we had sex for the first time the other day protected (condom and bc) and he's very open in asking me about it which i love. It was very good, but also he agreed that if i get female condoms he'd give me oral sex which i havnt experienced since i first got H 5 years ago! so I'm very excited... do you recommend or know of a good female condom to use for that? I have found FC2 online and dont know if you've heard of that or know if its good?
  11. wow thank you for telling me that because i think sometimes i need support for his father's issues. I don't know much yet because his dad lives on the other coast and he has only told me so much. We are still a new relationship and while he opens up he is slowly. I think you are right and when i called him to talk about it more before he left for thanksgiving to see him... he was so overly concerned with his dad- and said the furthest thing from his mind would be to run from me. I worry about him- for him. lol It is hard because his dad has that and his mom is a budding alcoholic- (divorced) a
  12. thank you all for your immediate support :) It is always comforting to come on here- even after years and know that I still recognize your user names and still can count on your responses. Unfortunately since I felt all of my anxiety and victim mentality today- i did not eat, felt nauseous, and uneasy. I called him tonight just to check in and see where his head is at. He said nothing has changed between him and I and that he really likes me, loves my company and that its just something well have to deal with. Also, he has not really thought about it a ton and is still processing because he ha
  13. I have been a part of this site for about 4.5 years now. My name is Alexa and for those who are new I can summarize my story. I received HSV type 1 genitally 4.5 years ago and have not had another outbreak since that initial- (may 2011) i was 19 at the time and now I'm 24. I struggled for about a year and a half and ever since herpes has not been a big part of my life or identity. I do honestly feel it is a blessing in disguise for me and I have embraced it as it is with me forever (until a cure). I have had nothing but good reactions with the exes i have disclosed to. I expected nothing less
  14. Also I showed him the video above and he said it's totally true! Haha
  15. I just wanted to update you all on what is going on with my boyfriend. Since disclosing everything went back to normal. He seemed to be a tad quiet the every next day but also we spent that day together so I just have him his quiet. I noticed that very next week he started finally touching me we both fooled around and then finally last week he out of the blue after a night out tried to have sex with me- no condom and never even asked if I'm on birth control! I guess he didn't really have anymore concerns after my disclosure?! I am on birth control btw .. And would never let a guy finish in me.
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