ElleMN

I love Lelani's points about all natural. I want to say I too, do not take any medications for my H virus. As I've been able to keep it under control with other methods as well! (I cook with coconut oil.).) You will find this to be a great reason as Adrial said, to keep your stress under control, and be physically healthier! Keep the faith that things can and will get better as time goes on! You are under a lot of stress so it is not surprising that you're having a second outbreak, and your body is just having a heck of a time keeping up. I'm so glad we can all be here for you! Just ask, anything you need. Side note, I call my friends who have H my "super hero" friends. Because we all have a "special" power. :) I know..cheesy, but it may make you smile! Keep us updated on how you are feeling, there is also a forum post on other natural remedies for H, check that out! You're doing great. You got this! Elle

Hi sweetie, all I can say is I feel your pain! When my first outbreak came on it lasted a week and a half, not to mention I also had chlamydia and a yeast infection (I know so terrible). Then a month later I got a second one. :( The physical side really takes its toll on you, like will I ever feel normal again? What I did, and consult the doc, but I upped my dosage of valtrex in this time, and then just stayed on it for the first few months. That helped me from getting any more outbreaks right away. Since then I've been able to keep it much more under control, your body is just trying to keep up and from the sounds of it the virus is just man handling your right now! Poor thing. Here are some things that help me. :) 1. Cool baths, cool showers. I know it's winter and doesnt sound all that appealing but it does help get your body temp down, and can also feel soothing to the outbreak. 2. Can you ask your doc for topical lidocain? It is just a numbing gel, but man! It does wonders, I would use it before bed to help me sleep. (I was able to get this prescription just over the phone from my doc) 3. Cool setting on your blow dryer = BEST THING EVAAA! Use that every time you shower, take a bath, or even go to the bathroom to keep things as cool and dry as possible. ( Could not possibly more opposite of what is natural down there. ) 4. Lysine vitamins! 5. Only wear cotton or no underwear, no restrictive clothing which I'm sure you figured out, again just helps things breathe. 6. Water water water drink drink drink! Remember, this too shall pass, its really frustrating I know and takes a lot out of you. Watch funny movies, and listen to music LOUD. Keep your mood up as best you can and avoid caffeine and alcohol. You can and will do this. You will get a handle on this, everyone's experience is different but research shows the outbreaks decrease over time. :) You're doing GREAT by reaching out, kudos to you! Keep the faith and remember that it WILL get better. Hope this helps!!Elle

Lelani!!!!! Bow Chica Wow Wow! You go girl. I'm loving this message thread. And I could not POSSIBLY agree more about how important it is to talk about this topic because it IS the reality, and the context of which we are dealing with most of our issues facing H. Here's me doing a sexy time dance for you!

Oh my oh my, my heart is bursting. Partly out of sadness for the hurdles you are encountering, and then from pride that another H woman has the guts to come out with it. HECK YES. There are days I wanna scream. There are days I want to slash dudes tires who "gave" this to me, ugh! Sounds like you are coming into your own, and really working through things. Since everyone else has said so much of what I would probably say :), I will just add a few things. I suffer from anxiety depression as well, always have. Medication can be a god send!! But I also think it is a great idea to consider talk therapy, took me about 10 years to find a therapist that has been good for me, but it has TRULY helped and I think coupled with meds it is a great combo. (Not saying its for everyone just an idea!);) And lastly, keep on being real, you should be so proud of yourself for getting these feelings out of your body and onto the screen, just that is something SO many people (including myself) have trouble taking on. As long as you continue to put yourself first, I know that you are going to be not just good, but GREAT. H is a bummer, but it can put a mirror in front of us, and make us realize things about ourselves and our relationships we may have not otherwise! (Ok one more thing, I know I'm being long winded) Be patient with yourself sweetie, be kind and gentle with that heart of yours because it deserves it, especially when it is feeling wounded. YOU ROCK!!!! Elle

"The moral of my story: yeah, it sucks having these viruses, but they are just another lesson in learning to connect with myself and others at a deeper level. A big hug to everyone new — it feels awful and I felt that way too — but how you feel months down the track is not about herpes, it's about you. Be an inspiration to others and your self esteem will blossom. "Lelani, I just love this final "moral of the story." My mantra the last couple of months is "this too shall pass." This means the good will pass, the bad will pass, it all passes, time heals and rejuvenates the soul and I think we can all find some comfort in that. I'm learning about starting over myself. I was with the only person I have ever been in love with for almost 2 years. He also had H. So after all this time of not even thinking about my H, now I do.
 Now I'm faced with being "out there" again, as you are. Out there with all the people who aren't positive, and all those that are, and trying to decide which direction to go in. It can be very daunting. But on the days its hard, I remind myself this too shall pass, and on the days that it is good I revel in them, allow them to quiet my heart and use them as a source of strength when another hiccup comes. 
Thank you for being candid and honest, and most of all POSITIVE (no pun intended). It is refreshing. 
All my support,
 Elle



Lucky, I TOTALLY know everything you are thinking and feeling. I've felt everything you are thinking. So let me just address a couple things for you to maybe help. :) I know what it feels like to be in the "myth" that because you are not promiscuous you are then immune from getting anything. I never had sex outside of a committed relationship and well ... here I am. However, you are taking the first step and reaching out; such a great way to start! Immerse yourself in knowledge about your virus, and I promise you will find peace with it. Maybe not right away, but it will come. In the meantime, be patient with yourself ... do what feels manageable ... and if nothing feels like that, then eat ice cream and watch a suspense movie! No romantic movies for a while! Stick with comedies, mysteries and suspense to keep you engaged. Distractions can help at first! Lets take a little look at what H could mean for you! 1. If you are taking baths, that is good for soothing symptoms. Just be sure they are cool baths or luke warm, never hot during an outbreak; it can make your symptoms worse. 2. Gone are the days of "casual sex." That can feel annoying, like a piece of our sexuality has been taken. But now it just means that your relationships will have so much more contentedness and meaning because the guy will be there for YOU not just for your vagina! 3. Manage stress (doesn't sound so bad). I have found learning deep breathing and yoga techniques helps me manage stress. 4. Herpes thrives on bad health, so let's be sure you are building up that immune system girl! Drink tons of water, work out until you think you might puke, listen to music REALLY loud, and get plenty of sleep. :) Kinda funny when you think about what some of this means, just means you are being extra healthy! I guarantee you: this will come full circle and you WILL feel better. The more you know, the more peace will come. This might mean nothing to you right now I know, BUT it's all true! Let me know if I can help in any way!

ZMB, seriously I feel so terrible that you have had to solider through this. Try to remember everyone walks wounded in one way or another — ours is just medical. People have something to say about our virus because of where it is located on the body, not the severity. Medical practitioners do not even consider it a serious condition, which is part of what can be confusing to us as patients. Now remember this will not break you, okay? It will not. We are social creatures, wanting to have a partner in this life is NORMAL. Everyone wants that. Although it can feel as though you have to redefine yourself ... that is not the case. HERPES DOES NOT DEFINE YOU! I hate saying "I have herpes." Like somehow I'm just existing ... no, we are all LIVING with herpes. Take the power away from this virus, girl. Having herpes is NOT a moral failure; you're not dirty or tainted. We are all here to honor our situation regardless of the pain. I'm here to talk any time, because I know what it can feel like to be alone. Do your homework, check out my post of natural remedies and please please please don't give up. And when you feel like you're going to ... remember how many people are in the same position, going through this, living with this every day. Finally (and I cannot stress this enough), THE RIGHT PERSON WILL NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR VIRUS! They will understand, read up on it, make smart choices, and love you no matter what. I'm living proof — I've dated men with herpes, and men without herpes. At the end of the day, it does not matter. Trust your heart. Elle

Yep you're right, currently I am in the final semester of my masters degree, I'm studying herpes stigma as it is related to aftercare for patients and practitioner assumptions. (I know it's a mouthful!). I've found the more I learn about my virus the more it doesn't bother me. I encourage everyone to empower themselves with knowledge!

DD, on the insecurity front, wow I totally know how you are feeling. What brings me solace is that if I cannot be ok with my herpes virus nobody else is going to be ok with it. Being ashamed or hiding from it is implying that you did something wrong. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. You got it making a choice that millions of people make every day. Sometimes faking courage is the same as having courage and I am confident that you will turn the corner, get out of this funk. We all get in them sometimes but just be gentle and patient with yourself. :) Elle

I take a Lysine Vitamin every day, which I feel really helps. Wear cotton underwear helps a lot too. Cook or take coconut oil every day take it by mouth or use it in your cooking, it's AMAZING! Unlike other dietary fats such as soybean and corn oils, coconut oil is packed with a special type of fat molecules called medium chain fatty acids (MCFA). These relatively rare fatty acids are the muscle behind coconut oil's incredible antimicrobial properties.Of all the microorganisms that MCFAs can vaporize, those that are encased in a lipid or fat membrane, like the herpesviruses, are the most vulnerable. MCFA-loaded coconut oil annihilates the lipid-coated herpes simplex virus (HSV-1 and -2), as well as other members of theherpesviridae family of viruses. Coconut oil is able to penetrate the outer membrane of the herpes virus and weaken it to the point that it breaks down, effectively neutralizing the virus. Say goodbye to painful outbreak. It isn't a cure but it sure does help! Also, using a electric razor (down there) helps me keep everything very clean and dry. Try not to use anything that is scented that can aggravate you, just soap (hypo allergenic) and water, or just water alone. HOPE THIS HELPS! Elle

I LOVEEEEEEE this story! I totally know how you feel and it is amazing to have all of your fears dispelled! Proud Proud Proud!