I'm a 44-year-old, divorced female. My husband gave me herpes and it devastated me. I know I stayed in my marriage a lot longer than I should have because I was so ashamed and felt no one would want to be intimate with me. I've been divorced for nearly 6 years now, and have had a few partners within that time with whom I have disclosed everything up front and they have been accepting, and I have been extremely careful not to transmit. They are all fine to date.
I know I am not the first to go through this, but recently I met a wonderful man with whom I really hit it off. I felt we had a wonderful connection and had very high hopes for a relationship. However, I disclosed I had herpes because it was looking as if it were going in that direction, and he shut me out. He initially said it was all new to him and wasn't a deal breaker, and that he needed more information. I encouraged him to do all the research he needed and and tried my best to make him feel comfortable and more at ease. Two days later he told me he didn't need any more complications in his life and that he just wanted to be friends. This is the first time I've been rejected and it hurts tremendously. There was nothing I could do or say to change his mind, even though he readily admitted he didn't know a lot about it. I'm so frustrated, confused, and downright despondent at times. I knew it had to happen at some point, but didn't realize it would hurt this much. Having the talk always leaves me raw and vulnerable, and now being rejected on top of all that is just too much. My hope is that he does care enough to eventually do the research and hopefully look past it and see me as a caring, loving person with a lot to offer, but it's not looking good. Please, any support will help.
Thanks.