jessiw

It's been good typing with you too Renee! I am so happy I found this forum. :)

Thank you for the advice! I'm relieved to hear it doesn't have to be so difficult.

Thanks Renee I know I've heard the song but I will read the lyrics!! It was nice to connect with you as well Adridal. I am also looking forward to July. I would greatly appreciate support with the Support Group Adrial.

So I've have Herpes for 7 years. Within this time period I get an outbreak every month. In this past year it has gone down to every other month. My life has significantly changed in terms of the amount of stressors I take on and how I deal with them, yet I am still struggling. My first experiences with medication were with Valtrex. I was prescribed to take it every time I got an outbreak, which was every month but I noticed the Valtrex did not help. So eventually I went without medication (at least 5 years). Now I am taking acyclovair and I find that it works to take it when I get any symptoms. When I asked my doctor about suppressive therapy she said in order to get on it they needed to make sure I was really having herpes outbreaks. It sounded reasonable enough. She gave me her card with her signature and wrote that I should be seen anytime without an appointment. It was simple I needed to see the doctor when I had an ob. So I got an ob but I was terrified and I didn't go. Then the next week I got what seemed like an outbreak. I made sure to call the office and after being told my doctor was booked they agreed to let me see her if I brought the card she signed. So I did this. Upon arrival three workers decided to question me and told me I could not be seen without an appointment. (As if having an outbreak isn't stressful enough) After arguing and showing the card to each new worker that came to see me one of the workers finally decided to ask the doctor. She of course let me in to be seen right away. Near tears and humiliated I finally got to see my doctor. Wouldn't you know it, I wasn't having an ob, but a cyst. So had I gone in the week before I would have gotten the culture taken. I was informed I would need to go through this whole emotional process again, the next time I had an ob. every time I get an ob I question myself, am I ready to put myself through the stress and emotional draining it takes to argue with the staff to be seen, to feel the pain of an injection in my ob? How badly do I want or need this suppressive therapy? So I guess my question is: Is there an easier way to get on suppressive therapy?

Thank you for your kind words!

I know exactly how you feel! When I started joining online chats people were asking me if I had HSV 1 or 2. I was confused, I just had herpes...my doctor didn't explain that part to me. She answered three questions for me: Can I still have children, Will my children get it and she told me to use protection. That was it. So I know how you feel, having to get your answers online. It was a non-issue for me too, especially when I was in a relationship. We took precautions but I didn't really do any extra research to understand it. It was just too scary! It's good he has someone to help him through it!

Hi all, My name is Jessi. I contracted herpes when I was 21 (that was 7 years ago). I had always had negative experiences with dating in general. When I was 21 I met this guy who told me he loved me. I had been waiting a long time to hear that, so I thought I was in love. The first time I was with him he took the condom off because he didn't like condoms. I tried to insist but I was powerless to him. I didn't know how to stand my ground. We dated for two weeks. He broke up with me to date other girls but I couldn't let him go. We continued to see each other for the next year or so. i knew he was with other girls but I didn't care, I really believed I was in love with him. It was a terrible time in my life and I really didn't like myself. He gave me Chlamydia and I was heartbroken, yet I still wanted to be with him. Three months later I was diagnosed with Herpes. When I told him he said he didn't have it. I was so angry, he was the only guy I was sleeping with and I knew he had given it to me. For several years I dealt with the pain of him lying to me. I took full responsibility for getting Herpes. I made the decision to have unprotected sex with a guy who I knew was sleeping with other girls. So I never blamed him, I blamed myself. In a way I still have love for him. He was a lost soul, and he changed my life. I dealt with my diagnosis in silence, among my family and friends. After months of silence I told my sister and she was kind but scared. I started dating a younger guy. When I told him about having Herpes I couldn't help crying. He started crying too and that was beginning of our relationship. I was able to tell more people about my diagnosis but still I felt no one understood. Sometimes I would cry to my boyfriend wondering why he was with me. He continued to remind me that it did not define who I was. After this relationship ended. I was terrified. I made a lot of mistakes in dating and realized that I needed to work on myself. It has been three years since that relationship ended. I started learning more about myself. My goal was to love myself. I started meditating, I went to a Native American prayer ceremony, and started challenging my fears. I now have a passion for wellness and a greater care for myself. I am not willing to just accept a guy because I have herpes and he might be the only one to accept me. I've learned to be independent and that it's okay to be single. Last year I finally met people with herpes in the state I live in. Recently I did the Walk for H in Washington D.C., and I've made some amazing friends! I'm trying to get a support group started at the university I attend.One of my friends created a meetup for herpes and HPV and we have already gotten at least 15 people in our local group. She's been contacted by three times as many people in our community so there is hope. I am ready to accept Herpes, 7 years in and I making progress but I am still dealing with fear and anxiety. So I have joined this community in hopes of support, acceptance and to help anyone that I can.

Hi Rene, Thanks for sharing your story so honestly. That was a brave thing to do. I know for the first several years I had a lot of confusion around herpes and transmission and just accepting it in general. The best thing I think you can do for this man is give him space. Try to remember how you felt when you first contracted herpes it was scary and most people want someone to blame. I think for your hearts sake, taking a break from this guy would be good. He knows you are there for support and when he needs it, you should trust him to come to you. If he doesn't than he isn't the one. I hope things get better for you...