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Everyone has their own experience with it and copes with the diagnosis differently. Just because it doesn't impact some people much physically and mentally doesn't mean that is true for everyone. Everyone is allowed to feel whatever they are feeling, and in time that usually improves. It's not fair to discount someone's feelings because you've never experienced them as each persons experience is their own

@MLIO hi there! I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know it isn't an easy thing to cope with, especially at first. I was just diagnosed in June and have come a good ways in my thinking and know that will only continue to improve with time. I do still have my down times and days, but talking to people does help. If you aren't ready to talk to someone in your life yet, talk to all of us! Browse the forums and success stories, browse the veterans category. Statistics on just *how* many people carry this virus - especially when you look at totals for both strains - show that the prevalence is huge! 1 in 6 people I think it was ages 14-49 have HSV2 and numbers are even higher including HSV1 (which is on the rise genitally thanks to oral sex) and the numbers increase with increasing age groups. https://herpes.org.uk This is a great resource, some of the numbers and stats are different because it's a U.K. based organization https://infogram.com/Everything-You-Didnt-Know-About-HSV-but-wish-you-did This is also great and the graphic showing prevalence is awesome Also, check out Ella Dawson. She's a blogger and, in her own words, is internet famous for having genital herpes. Her blog posts and videos are fantastic and she is who I turn to when I feel down about things. You are far from alone and your life is far from over. I know it feels like it is right now, but hang in there, better days are to come!

@new2this2017 you're very welcome! Having people to talk to is immensely helpful. Feel free to reach out any time! I hope the TED talk is as good for you as it was for me! I've watched it multiple times all the way through since I was diagnosed

@new2this2017 2.13 is a low positive result, some would normally question that because it's less than 3.5, but with your positive pap culture I would say it's correct. Really the IgG number doesn't have any specific meaning to it in terms of how long you've had the virus/correlation of how high the number is. That would be nice if it were cut and dry saying "if it's between this and this you've had it this long", there are some who have it for many years and have a 3 result and some who have it for a smaller amount of time and have a much higher result. It is a very complicated topic, this virus, but education can help you feel better about it once your head stops spinning. I was and still am amazed at how little doctors don't know about this virus. It took me seeing 3 different practitioners before someone thought to do the culture I had done. And the first two saw my outbreak in much worse of a state than the final one, who saw it when it was almost completely healed! Insane. The midwife I've been seeing has told me it isn't a big deal and is very common, which it is - according to WHO 2/3 of the *entire* worlds population has HSV1, many oral but genital is certainly on the rise. I knew "coldsores" could spread to the genitals, but I thought you had to have a cold sore for that to happen and I also didn't know that people can have HSV1 orally and *never* have a cold sore, so they never know they have it yet can still spread it. As far as outbreaks, what is an outbreak for everyone is different! All pending on your body's reaction to the virus. Some have symptoms so mild they're easily mistaken for something else. Mine wasn't fun but it wasn't as bad as the pictures you see on google (if you haven't googled it yet, don't! They use a lot of worst case scenario pictures). I went on suppressives after diagnosis and haven't had any visible sores since but still don't feel right down below. One day at a time. That's what I've learned, more than anything else. Do yourself a favor and google Ella Dawson. She's a young woman who has genital HSV1 and she is amazing. I look her up often. She has a blog and the posts she's written are awesome as well as the videos she's done. Watch her TED talk! She helps me get through the tough days that I have coping

@new2this2017 I'm sorry that you're going through this. It isn't something anyone wants to go through, for sure! I also have genital HSV1 recently diagnosed and have apparently had it for some time, my IgG was 9.48 so definitely positive. I've been with the same man, whom I'm engaged to, for 2 years so you can imagine my surprise. If your pap showed the HSV1 I would say it's safe to say that's the strain you have. But I would still ask your primary to run the test for your own peace of mind. I had a positive culture but still wanted the blood work. And I was quite honestly so nervous that HSV2 would show up because you just never know. I breathed a sigh of relief when it was positive for HSV1 and negative for HSV2 - one strain is enough! If you don't mind me asking, do you know the numerical result of your IgG test? I'm interested since they say it can take so long for antibodies to develop yet yours showed up so quickly in a matter of a couple of weeks! That makes me question how long I've really had the virus, I had assumed a while since my result was positive

@new2this2017 I was reading your reply and wanted to just say a couple of things! HSV1 *can* be transmitted genital to genital, it just isn't *as* likely as if it were HSV2 because HSV1 is the strain that tends to like the oral environment better. This typically leads to less asymptomatic viral shedding and less outbreaks, although it is different for everyone. What was the timeline of your sexual encounter and the blood test, as in how long after did they draw your blood? I ask because for herpes blood tests, it takes a number of weeks (up to 16 weeks) for an IgG level to come back as positive. Did they ever send a culture of your cervix that showed the strain as HSV1? I would just be concerned that it is possible that you could have contracted HSV2 (since he does have it) and your blood result may not have been positive yet if there was not enough time for your body to build up the antibodies needed to be detected in an IgG test. Many people carry HSV1 orally their entire lives without having a cold sore which could explain the positive test for that. I am not saying that you have HSV2, so please don't think that! It is very possible you do have genital HSV1, I just wanted to reach out and say the thoughts that immediately came to my mind when reading your post

Hi @Alex1990, did you have a swab or blood test performed for diagnosis? What were those results? I ask because that will differentiate the type - HSV1 vs HSV2. And the blood test will tell a lot because if it is a recent infection, your IgG will be negative and you'll have a positive swab. That can give you a clue as to when you acquired it. IgG can take up to 16 weeks to show in the blood, although it does show up sooner for some. Pending the answers above, if its HSV1, you could ask your new guy if he has ever had a cold sore or specifically been tested for HSV. If he has had cold sores, he could have spread the virus to you via oral. Even if he hasn't had cold sores he could carry HSV1 orally. If it is HSV2, he could very well carry it and have no idea since most have mild symptoms mistaken for something else and a lot even have no symptoms.

@Katidid I'm going to discuss that with my NP at my appt on 8/9. She was pretty specific when she started me on the pill about how much hormones she thought I would be okay with without causing me pain. When I switched, it was *not* her who switched me - another thing I kick myself for. I had an ovarian cyst and needed to follow up with a gyn, I was told I couldn't see an NP for a cyst that it had to be an MD. Which I should have questioned further. She was on a leave anyway though so I couldn't have seen her either way. So a different doc switched me to a different kind of pill due to my cyst

@Katidid that makes two of us! What I do know is this: 1. My first outbreak was June. I had just started my period after finishing the first pack of a new birth control pill. I noticed the sores 6/5, I thought I had cut myself itching with my long nails as they were preceded by me scratching when I felt an itch. An ordinary itch that went away when I scratched. My only symptoms initially were the open areas and a swollen lymph node in my left groin - both noticed 6/5. I started with random vulvar discomfort/burning later that week 2. I had NO prodrome symptoms until starting 1000mg of valtrex twice a day, I started that 6/22, when I finally got the diagnosis. IgG was checked on 6/27 was +HSV1 9.48 - so clearly not a new infection 3. My prodromes mostly disappeared when I cut back to the 500mg daily valtrex dosage after 10 days on the high dose 4. Even with most of the prodromes gone, I had stumbled across your post and read about your vulvar discomfort, and thought maybe I could try switching to acyclovir and see if my random vulvar discomfort (strictly right sided, as if a line is down the middle, strange since my OB was on the left by my rectal area) gets better 5. Went back up to 1000mg valtrex for 5 days to appease the midwife whom contributed my symptoms to the virus, prodromes increased some and still had vulvar discomfort. Saw the midwife 7/20, all "looked" good, and I got her to let me try acyclovir. I was pretty fatigued feeling the first few days of the switch 6. Back on 7/17 randomly noticed neck tenderness and possible swollen nodes which seemed to have decreased by the time I saw the midwife (7/20) 7. Prodromes have felt like they've increased with the acyclovir, and also vulvar burning has increased. This has also been my period week, so ? hormones vs meds. I am on birth control, and I DID notice the prodromes increase in the 5 or 6 days I was on acyclovir prior to my period starting 8. I have had on and off neck tenderness and muscle fatigue, increased after switching to acyclovir I feel like if I could just *feel* normal I would be in a better place mentally. It would allow me to see that things can be normal again - physically and intimately. I have some days when I'm okay and others when I get down. I did seek out the help of a therapist through a work program that provides a few free sessions to employees - all done through a third party and confidential. I have trouble reconciling my life before and my life now. I felt so carefree prior to this and now every thing I feel or see I question. Since diagnosis I've had a tiny shave bump that freaked me out. I also had an ingrown hair that it was hard not to automatically think could be H. My thighs have ached or itched and I've thought H, my lower back has itched and same thought. Every little thing. I haven't been able to focus on and enjoy my wedding planning like I should be, and that definitely gets me down. It's supposed to be one of the happiest and most exciting times of my life! I worry about outbreaks; what if I get one around the wedding or honeymoon. I worry about worrying - I don't want to worry that every little thing that I do (i.e. not using enough lube, shaving, wiping too hard, eating certain foods, drinking certain drinks, etc) will trigger an outbreak. Hence one of the reasons why I'm opting for suppressive therapy right now. My fiancé truly doesn't make a big deal out of it, which is great. But at the same time he really doesn't understand why it impacts me as much as it does. Which again, I think right now is all coming back to wanting to feel normal physically and all of the worries that I have. I am seeing my specialist NP 8/9, to see if she can help me with the vulvar discomfort. She helped me become pain free a number of years ago after I finally got a diagnosis of vestibulodynia. I'm hopeful that she can help me again. I have thought of trying to make an appt with my primary doctor and just getting the achy glands checked out, see what she thinks. See if she wants to do any lab work. Maybe I'll call tomorrow and see if I can get in anytime soon, they're usually horrible to get in with. I did get a massage last Sunday! Oddly enough my muscles are tenser now than they were beforehand. In the mean time I'm going to have to debate the antivirals and which I should take Thank you for taking the time to reply to me @Katidid!

Also, I have a lot of generalized achiness and fatigue. The fatigue was worse when I first switched meds and has subsided some. I'm tempted to go back to valtrex - I have a bunch of random symptoms now that I didn't really have before, and no less prodromes.

Hi all! Has anyone ever experienced swollen glands/sore throat on and off as a side effect of taking antivirals? For me I'm more so having swollen/sore glands in my neck than a sore throat. I've read that while not too common these can be side effects of antivirals. I first noticed awollen lymph nodes in my neck two weeks ago because they were tender (probably more tender than swollen). At that point I was on valtrex and had upped the dosage to 500mg twice a day per my doc - she attributed the random zingers and weird symptoms I had been having to the virus being active. I upped it more as a way to prove her wrong because I didn't think that was it, in fact I thought valtrex was causing them. I switched to acyclovir after that, a week and a half ago, 400mg twice a day. My tender glands are still here and are more tender on and off - I think they've been more tender honestly since experimenting and upping the dose to three times a day to see if that helped the vulvar burning I've been having. I had read that's a good way to test if a symptom is H related, by seeing if the antivirals help it, so I upped the dose. My doc thinks the virus is "active" with all of my weird symptoms and gave me quite a supply to play with the dosage. I don't want to go off of suppressives but it is frustrating that I have all of these weird symptoms since starting the antivrials over a month ago Thoughts anyone? Thanks in advance!

@thsbtch hi there, so the antibodies are what they use to test you for HSV. The virus itself lives in the nerves, not in the blood. So you can't detect the virus by looking for it in the blood. Instead what they do is look for antibodies that your body produces. These antibodies are what your body produces in response to the virus. They're your body's way of fighting the virus. For example, with chickenpox, i was never vaccinated because I had chickenpox as a baby. When I had to prove for school and work purposes that I had immunity to the virus, since I didn't have a documented vaccination, I had to get an antibody test which showed that I had antibodies to it. These were developed by my bodys immune response to having been infected with the virus. You will only have antibodies to the HSV virus if you have the virus. Since it hides in the nerves the only two ways to test for it are via blood antibody testing (IgG) or via a swab test. Hopefully that makes sense!

@adrial also, when it says itch is it referring to like that deep itch you can't scratch?! Like scratching doesn't relieve it? Or any itch? Every one gets random itching - again, making distinguishing things frustrating. The article says that they can be anywhere from 30mins-2 days before an outbreak, or no outbreak to follow. So my question is what does it mean when I have them daily?

@Bria that is the struggle at the moment, getting him to go and get tested. I would feel better knowing whether I have to worry about transmission or not, and he's going to get tested, I just have no idea when

@hippyherpy I actually thought about that while watching game of thrones last night!

@adrial thank you for the reply! It's been so frustrating for me because I have no way of knowing for sure whether these random things I feel are the virus vs just random feelings! I made another post last night about not knowing when it's safe to be intimate with my fiancé because I never go a day without a "prodrome" type feeling. Im on daily suppressives and don't remember having these feelings until I started the initial treatment dosage of valtrex. I switched Thursday from valtrex to acyclovir to see if that would cut down on the feelings. don't know if perhaps you could read that post and give some input/advice for me? I would so appreciate it!

It depends on where the lesions are. If they're in a spot where the urine touches them or if they're in your urethra then I would say dysuria is normal. I'm sorry you're having so much pain!

This is somewhat of a loaded question, and one I realize no one can answer 100%. I had my first outbreak the beginning of June (first outbreak but I've apparently carried gHSV1 for an unknown amount of time). Everything has healed visibly and has been for weeks. I was on suppressive valtrex and just switched to acyclovir Thursday. I thought valtrex may be causing me to have what felt like prodromes on a daily basis. I still have an occasional tingle/zing daily so far even with the switch in meds. And a random feeling of an itch here and there but that could be a normal itch, who knows. My question is, how can I tell when it's safe to have sex?? I really, really want to be intimate with my fiancé again and every time I decide I'm going to I feel a zing and get too afraid. I know there are other options for intimacy but this has been going on two months now and I would love the intimacy of sex again My midwife says she thinks the virus is active and said it could take a period of time to settle down. She gave the example of a woman having weird feelings for a year before it "settled down", I said "so I can't be intimate for a whole year?" She said "I'm not saying that" but couldn't give me a clear answer as to when I can safely be intimate :( Could I really be contagious/the virus be active every day?

Its hard to say, the skin is so sensitive down there it is possible that its just a cut from scratching. There appear to be a couple other small open areas above the largest cut, which could go along with the "cluster" presentation of herpes. But even that isn't set in stone with how people present. The only definitive way to know is to have them swab the area when you're seen. Even if they aren't convinced that's what it is, insist on a PCR swab and then you'll know for sure. No matter the result and how scary the perspective of having the virus can be, you would know. And that is the most important thing! Your IgG (if that's the test you had done in May) would most likely have been positive that far out from exposure. You could always ask for another one of those as well. The test(s) can give you peace of mind if it/they come back negative

@nature_girl75 this is the post

Hi @nature_girl75 and welcome! While I can't give you much advice on casual disclosures (I found out I have it two years into a relationship with someone I'm engaged to) I can tell you that reading through the category you posted in as well as "Herpes talk success stories" will be good starting points until others chime in. Also, have you checked out Ella Dawson? Google her, she has GHSV1 and talks about her experiences disclosing in her blog. And she is fantastic! I view her page often as well as her TED talk she has posted on there, I've watched it many times especially if I get down about it as its still new for me. There is also a handout on this website under "lifestyle guides" about disclosing. There's another post I was reading recently where someone was on a "disclosure spree" that I'll try to find and tag you in that you could read which I found very encouraging!

@ann1626 I've only been taking it since June (my first outbreak was at the beginning of June), so I'm not the best to ask about effectiveness in preventing outbreaks, from a personal experience standpoint. I know that I've had the virus a period of time and this was my first recognizable outbreak. A lot of people have had success with it, there is one woman on here who has had it over 20 years and started suppressive therapy to cut down on her number of outbreaks and it brought it from several a year to none. Its very individual but the idea is that it decreases viral replication therein decreasing outbreaks as well as asymptomatic shedding. This would be helpful to future partners as it would lower risk of transmission to them. A couple things work in your favor for rate of transmission here - ghsv1 *typically* sheds less, ghsv1 is said to be harder to pass from genital to genital (but still *can* be passed this way, and can also be passed genital to oral), a large percentage of the population has oral hsv1 which would provide some protection to them from contracting it genitally, you're a woman and woman to man transmission rates are lower as men have less mucous membrane down below. HSV1 prefers the mouth, if they've had the virus there for years (which people can carry even if they've *never* had a cold sore) its well established there and they're less likely to contract it in another location that is not its preferred location (genitals), if that makes sense. Essentially, if you take daily antivirals and use condoms and avoid sex during outbreaks, you have a 1-2% (around there) chance of passing it to an H- partner. If you don't use condoms but you do the other two things (avoiding during OBs and take suppressive meds) that risk only increases slightly percentage wise. I'm not a huge fan of taking medication, and you may not always need to take it, but I look at it this way - if there's something out there that I can take once or twice a day to help cut down on how much this virus impacts my life, why not take it?! Especially when the medications (valtrex and acyclovir) have been proven to be safe to take for many years. I always say I won't be someone who takes a list of medications the length of my arm, but I won't object to having some help from a medication to keep this virus in check and decrease its impact on my life

@ann1626 I actually just switched to acyclovir last week as I felt valtrex was making me having prodromal symptoms (tingles, zings, stings, etc). They're both equally effective! Some people respond better to one over another or prefer one over another. But effectiveness wise they're generally both effective meds. I take mine suppressively instead of episodically. As for the hpv, fingers crossed that everything comes back normal this time and your system has cleared it on its own! It happens all the time so there's a good chance it will. Typically if you have precancerous or cancerous cells your pap will be abnormal indicating there are atypical cells there

@ann1626 good for you for getting out of that relationship! I just read over your other post and I'm happy that you're taking care of yourself! The disclosure section of this forum would be the most helpful in how/when to disclose. From the posts I've read, everyone does it differently. Some place it on their dating profile, some tell people on the first/second date, some wait until they know they have a connection with the person, some send them a text message. I found out I have gHSV1 after I was already engaged to the man I'm with, telling him my fears before I was diagnosed was terrifying mostly because I already had two years invested and had no idea how it was even possible to have it! As for HPV - I've read that 80% of all sexually active people get some strain of HPV in their lifetime. Most just don't know! If there is no "active" infection, its not detected. From my understanding, when pap smears are done they can detect an *active* infection. Someone can have an active infection and clear it on their own and never know about it - which is what happens the vast majority of the time. They don't have much of a way to test men at this time so any man you're telling, based on statistics, probably has or has had some strain of it at some point in their life Sometimes doctors I feel just find a reason to have patients come in, but then again they may have an obligation to see you every so often in order to treat you. Is it your gyno? Maybe they want to see you if you haven't been in for the normal yearly appt.

@Manc182 I think that a lot of us have the habit of "waiting for the other shoe to drop". Reading your post I realized thats what I've been doing since I had a dreadful feeling that what I was experiencing was HSV. I had googled the symptoms I had but didn't get an official diagnosis for 2 1/2 weeks (3 doctors later!). The first week I let my mind absolutely torture me with "what ifs" and "I'm going to lose everything" before I told my fiance my worst fear. I'm engaged to an amazing man, we've been together for two years, so you can imagine my shock and panic when I had some things pop up and all of the google Gods pointed to herpes. I, like most of the population, had NO idea that this virus could hide for years. And I had been tested right around the time my fiance and I met, so I couldn't have it! That was my thought anyway, before I realized that most STD testing doesn't include HSV. His response, when I poured my heart out to him about my worst fear (before diagnosis) and told him I was terrified I would lose him and everything, was "well you didn't do anything, right? so you have nothing to worry about". Hes been supportive since. In fact, he thinks I make it a bigger deal than it is, which is comforting in a way. I even told him the other day that I feel like he has more thoughts that he isn't telling me, because hes had so *little* to say about it. And he was actually offended, because he tells me everything. He said "I don't have any more thoughts on it, I don't think its gross, its not a big deal". So there really are people for whom this isn't a big deal. I know this is easier said than done, but I wouldn't read too much into not testing first this morning - over the course of the relationship you guys will probably go back and forth as to who texts who first, thats normal :)